money96

I am a twenty nine year old married man with two children. Prior to getting married, I was in the Marine Corps for four years. While activated I traveled all over the world. (Very unstable). When I got out I knew what I thought I wanted. I wanted to be married and I wanted children and some stability. Very soon after deactivation, I met my present wife. She was a great person and I knew right away that she had a level head on her shoulders and that I could love her. Without her in my life I know that I would never have made it to the point I am now as we have been through so much together. After about 1 year we moved in together. After about 3 months of living together I asked her to marry me. Soon after she was pregnant. It was at this point that I felt she began to reject my sexual advances. I am a very sexual person and I remember taking this personally. This went on long after we had our first child and I remember thinking to myself why is she doing this to me. I am a personal trainer at a health club and what irritated me the most was that it seemed I had no problem finding other girls who seemed to be attracted to me but my own wife was not. There was definitely a transition I went through and I remember slowly becoming less and less attracted to her and eventually not even wanting to be with her anymore. Aside from the sex, there were other problems. She had a habit of telling me white lies all the time. When I discovered that she was lying she would cover up the lies with more lies. I told her that what made me angry was the fact that she felt the need to lie about the smallest things. It seemed not to stop. I cannot begin to tell you in words the FRUSTRATION I FELT with the way she made me feel. I felt like I was crazy and no matter how much I told her nothing seemed to change. On top of all of this I don't get along with her family. I am a people oriented person and I can get along with anybody, but her family I could not win over. There were times I would come in to her house and nobody would say hi to me. I discussed this with my wife, and she always seemed to make excuses as to why it was ok for them to treat me like that. It was one thing after another with her family. Looking back, I remember time after time telling my wife that I wasn't happy and wanted to leave. I even remember telling her that if nothing changed I felt I would fall for another woman but she never seemed to listen. Excuses were big with my wife and I am not about excuses. When my wife and I would get into arguments, she would do one of two things, Lie or make excuse after excuse. IT WAS HORRIBLE. Last summer, I felt it was finally time for me to leave. Right about that time I had become a new hire at a health club in my area. I met someone there innocently enough who had happened to get hired about a week after myself. (She is 22 years old). In the beginning there was nothing but friendship, we would talk about work and things like that. Eventually our conversations turned into discussions about our relationships (she had a boyfriend) and how similar they both were. Soon after there was an obvious attraction to each other. We were always together, we worked out together, and we began talking on the phone to each other at night. We both went on a business trip together and this is where we had our first encounter. While on the trip it seemed as we sat next to each other she was sitting very close to me as if trying to tell me something. We went to lunch together and just talked and laughed. After the day was over, we went for a few drinks at a local pub. It was here that we both opened up about the feelings we had for each other. It was such a relief to know that she felt the same way I did about her. It was one of the most unforgettable days in my life and I will never forget it. I can't tell you what time exactly it happened, but I felt that day that she woke me up inside and showed me that there was something I was missing in my life…happiness. That is when we kissed. That was it for about two weeks and to be honest at this point it wasn't necessarily her that I needed, I just wanted to be happy like that. Soon after I had a get together at my house and that is when it went all the way. Slowly after that our relationship meant more and more to me and I felt better than I HAVE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE. Just looking at her made me smile. When we talked we would laugh together all the time. I actually looked forward to going to work every day and throughout our time together nothing has changed. I felt the need to tell my wife though, as I wanted her to have the chance to make her own decision about leaving and to get the opportunity to feel the happiness I felt. So I did. Of course she had some idea, but she was hurt nonetheless. She told me she wanted to work things out, and as a husband who vowed to stay with her till death do us part I tried. I ended it with the other girl, which was extremely difficult. I know that It may be difficult to understand but IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU REALIZE THROUGHOUT THIS THAT I AM A MAN OF HIGH CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY AND ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME INCLUDING MY WIFE CAN VOUCH FOR THAT. This is something I never entered into marriage thinking I would do. Anyway, those three weeks that I was apart from her were extremely difficult. I went on an emotional roller coaster ride and seeing her the same way hurt. We stopped talking almost completely and it was hard. I can't remember when it happened but we ran into each other and starting talking and midsentence started to kiss. I can tell you now that looking into her eyes I felt something that I had not experienced in such a long time that I cant even tell you that I ever did for sure. It felt perfect. Holding her in my arms and kissing her again was a rush. I didn't think it was even possible to feel like that I felt like I was dreaming. That is when I knew that I couldn't stop and that it was not about sex. She told me that she would stick with me to the end. She said the fact that I had kids didn't bother her. She has told her sister's about me and they seem ok, but hasn't said anything to her parents. I am scared because every one seems to have something negative to say. We feel a strong bond with each other and I don't necessarily know if it is love but it must be close. I told my wife that I thought we should not stay together as I had feelings for someone else and that I could not let her go until I followed through with these feelings. She said that she would move out in the New Year and for the first time in my life I was ok with that. I mean I had said it before but wasn't sure if I meant it. I told my wife that I did not want to stay with her if it was because I was comfortable, and also if it was because I was scared to be on my own but didn't want to make a mistake either. This is where I find myself now. I am scared to leave someone I love, (my wife) who I know I love though that does not necessarily mean we are compatible as husband and wife. I don't talk to much of my family as much as most do so losing her would be hard. I have gone over every scenario in my head, but it doesn't help much. I am scared of living on my own, paying child support and being by myself, as my wife is the prime moneymaker. I got out of the military and feel I sacrificed school for a family which I don't regret but I don't know what I would do on my own. I also don't want to lose her, as a BEST FRIEND because there is no doubt that she is at least that. Hopefully someone has had a similar situation and can give me some input, but if nothing else writing this has made me feel a heck of a lot better. Thanks

I am a twenty nine year old married man with two children. Prior to getting married, I was in the Marine Corps for four years. While activated I traveled all over the world. (Very unstable). When I got out I knew what I thought I wanted. I wanted to be married and I wanted children and some stability. Very soon after deactivation, I met my present wife. She was a great person and I knew right away that she had a level head on her shoulders and that I could love her. Without her in my life I know that I would never have made it to the point I am now as we have been through so much together. After about 1 year we moved in together. After about 3 months of living together I asked her to marry me. Soon after she was pregnant. It was at this point that I felt she began to reject my sexual advances. I am a very sexual person and I remember taking this personally. This went on long after we had our first child and I remember thinking to myself why is she doing this to me. I am a personal trainer at a health club and what irritated me the most was that it seemed I had no problem finding other girls who seemed to be attracted to me but my own wife was not. There was definitely a transition I went through and I remember slowly becoming less and less attracted to her and eventually not even wanting to be with her anymore. Aside from the sex, there were other problems. She had a habit of telling me white lies all the time. When I discovered that she was lying she would cover up the lies with more lies. I told her that what made me angry was the fact that she felt the need to lie about the smallest things. It seemed not to stop. I cannot begin to tell you in words the FRUSTRATION I FELT with the way she made me feel. I felt like I was crazy and no matter how much I told her nothing seemed to change. On top of all of this I don't get along with her family. I am a people oriented person and I can get along with anybody, but her family I could not win over. There were times I would come in to her house and nobody would say hi to me. I discussed this with my wife, and she always seemed to make excuses as to why it was ok for them to treat me like that. It was one thing after another with her family. Looking back, I remember time after time telling my wife that I wasn't happy and wanted to leave. I even remember telling her that if nothing changed I felt I would fall for another woman but she never seemed to listen. Excuses were big with my wife and I am not about excuses. When my wife and I would get into arguments, she would do one of two things, Lie or make excuse after excuse. IT WAS HORRIBLE. Last summer, I felt it was finally time for me to leave. Right about that time I had become a new hire at a health club in my area. I met someone there innocently enough who had happened to get hired about a week after myself. (She is 22 years old). In the beginning there was nothing but friendship, we would talk about work and things like that. Eventually our conversations turned into discussions about our relationships (she had a boyfriend) and how similar they both were. Soon after there was an obvious attraction to each other. We were always together, we worked out together, and we began talking on the phone to each other at night. We both went on a business trip together and this is where we had our first encounter. While on the trip it seemed as we sat next to each other she was sitting very close to me as if trying to tell me something. We went to lunch together and just talked and laughed. After the day was over, we went for a few drinks at a local pub. It was here that we both opened up about the feelings we had for each other. It was such a relief to know that she felt the same way I did about her. It was one of the most unforgettable days in my life and I will never forget it. I can't tell you what time exactly it happened, but I felt that day that she woke me up inside and showed me that there was something I was missing in my life…happiness. That is when we kissed. That was it for about two weeks and to be honest at this point it wasn't necessarily her that I needed, I just wanted to be happy like that. Soon after I had a get together at my house and that is when it went all the way. Slowly after that our relationship meant more and more to me and I felt better than I HAVE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE. Just looking at her made me smile. When we talked we would laugh together all the time. I actually looked forward to going to work every day and throughout our time together nothing has changed. I felt the need to tell my wife though, as I wanted her to have the chance to make her own decision about leaving and to get the opportunity to feel the happiness I felt. So I did. Of course she had some idea, but she was hurt nonetheless. She told me she wanted to work things out, and as a husband who vowed to stay with her till death do us part I tried. I ended it with the other girl, which was extremely difficult. I know that It may be difficult to understand but IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU REALIZE THROUGHOUT THIS THAT I AM A MAN OF HIGH CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY AND ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME INCLUDING MY WIFE CAN VOUCH FOR THAT. This is something I never entered into marriage thinking I would do. Anyway, those three weeks that I was apart from her were extremely difficult. I went on an emotional roller coaster ride and seeing her the same way hurt. We stopped talking almost completely and it was hard. I can't remember when it happened but we ran into each other and starting talking and midsentence started to kiss. I can tell you now that looking into her eyes I felt something that I had not experienced in such a long time that I cant even tell you that I ever did for sure. It felt perfect. Holding her in my arms and kissing her again was a rush. I didn't think it was even possible to feel like that I felt like I was dreaming. That is when I knew that I couldn't stop and that it was not about sex. She told me that she would stick with me to the end. She said the fact that I had kids didn't bother her. She has told her sister's about me and they seem ok, but hasn't said anything to her parents. I am scared because every one seems to have something negative to say. We feel a strong bond with each other and I don't necessarily know if it is love but it must be close. I told my wife that I thought we should not stay together as I had feelings for someone else and that I could not let her go until I followed through with these feelings. She said that she would move out in the New Year and for the first time in my life I was ok with that. I mean I had said it before but wasn't sure if I meant it. I told my wife that I did not want to stay with her if it was because I was comfortable, and also if it was because I was scared to be on my own but didn't want to make a mistake either. This is where I find myself now. I am scared to leave someone I love, (my wife) who I know I love though that does not necessarily mean we are compatible as husband and wife. I don't talk to much of my family as much as most do so losing her would be hard. I have gone over every scenario in my head, but it doesn't help much. I am scared of living on my own, paying child support and being by myself, as my wife is the prime moneymaker. I got out of the military and feel I sacrificed school for a family which I don't regret but I don't know what I would do on my own. I also don't want to lose her, as a BEST FRIEND because there is no doubt that she is at least that. Hopefully someone has had a similar situation and can give me some input, but if nothing else writing this has made me feel a heck of a lot better. Thanks.