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bwhite00

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Everything posted by bwhite00

  1. bwhite00
    I hope that you can sort things out in your head and find what it is you're looking for.
  2. bwhite00
    I know you're going through a lot, and I really sympathize with everything you have to deal with. I just wanted to tell you though that YOU SUCK
  3. bwhite00
    I drove 4 hours every weekend to be with her, never complained. When she dumped me the first time for a psycho-maniac-stalker for a year, I didn't contact her once per her wishes. When we reconciled and things went awesome for 7 months, she promised me she wouldn't abandon me again. Well, she did, and I am devastated and just want to reach her in a way that she'll acquiesce to reconciling again it s not too late im freaking out.
  4. bwhite00
    Day 4 NC. Even if she contacts me ( and she will - it may be a month from now but she will), it will only be to see if I'm still longing for her. The beautiful thing about NC is that as each day passes, as a dumpee, whatever modicum of trust I have with her gets smaller and smaller. Pretty soon there will be no trust left and why be with someone you can't trust as far as you can throw them? Hang in there brothers because even in the darkest times post-BU, NC will give you a glimpse of light. A new kind of hope: not for reconciliation but for yourself, being okay with the status quo.
  5. bwhite00
    Hey X just wanted to say I'm disappointed in your behavior - regarding both your personal life and how you acted after we broke up. I really hope you get back on track and headed in a positive direction. All of the people you surround yourself with are alcoholics and drug addicts. You, yourself, are heading towards a cataclysmic trainwreck: financially, physically and emotionally. Had you shown some initiative in keeping the love alive - there was a very good chance your future would be brighter than the dismal one you are creating. I am glad not to witness your self-destruction first-hand. Good luck.
  6. bwhite00
    Day 3 NC I feel good. We've been split up 3 months and I've managed to grow in a positive way. She's taken many steps backwards in her life. Even if she were to flat out insist we see each other ( which she won't ) - there's a high % chance I would say 'too little, too late'. Do not want to talk to her. Do not want to see her.
  7. bwhite00
    Boswelc, I agree. My problem is compounded by the fact that two months post-BU we started 'dating' (sex, dates, all of it) for a few weeks and she needed 'space'... Which sucked by the way. As the dumpee I was the one who initiated us getting 'back' to dating. It didn't last. It hurt badly. So, I told her I'd give her 30 days space - no texts or anything - to figure out what she wants. I told her to contact me if she wanted to. I've spoken to her via text maybe three times in three weeks. Terrible. Terrible. Idea. I'll go a week and she'll text me right as I'm starting to feel ok. Now EVERY time she texts... I get a guilty conscience that if I don't reply she'll hate me. But that's ABSURD because she LEFT me, so why even acknowledge her? I mean seriously, I showed her when we dated again (briefly) how nice things could be and obviously she thinks she can do better. Oh well at least I had that chance. And she needed space because I told her I loved her one morning (yeah not smart but so what it just slipped) how lame... 1.5 year relationship, first love, etc
  8. bwhite00
    Right there with you. Even after making it clear a friendship is not possible, 3 months later my ex does the same thing. I tried the LC and NiC thing and it made me miserable too. I just simply can't talk to her anymore either because I'll do NC for 10 days and she'll text. I'll reply then rinse and repeat. Have to stop this cycle.
  9. bwhite00
    Day 2 permanent NC. Doesn't matter what she's doing, how she feels, who she's with. I don't care and I don't want to hear about it. I can no longer reply to her... Period.
  10. bwhite00
    Day 1 NC. She broke contact to tell me she was going to go to a job interview 5 hours away. I told her 'Cool. Good luck' after consideration if I should reply... A few hours later I sent her a couple of texts about the dog I just adopted... She ignored them. What a * * * * * . No more breaking NC from henceforth.
  11. bwhite00
    Day 9 NC. I miss her but I don't miss the way she treated me towards the end of the relationship and post break up. My roommates girlfriend owed her some money and my ex wanted to come over to our place to get it but my roommates gf told her shed take the money to her. I believe this was an attempt to see me but I left the lines of communication open when I went NC so she knows my number. She can reach me if she wants.
  12. bwhite00
    Day 8 NC. I miss her but I don't miss her new behaviors. Gotta learn acceptance. Gotta let go... But it's hard.
  13. bwhite00
    Day 7 NC. Some days are good some days are bad. I told her after 30 days I'd contact her as she had been telling me she needed space: I gave it to her. But honestly she broke up with me and after we dated again and things were going well she asked for space; so the way I see it once I hit the 30 day mark I don't think I'll reach out to her unless she reaches out to me first (which I told her to do if she did sort herself out and figure out what she wanted). Her immaturity I'm handling the whole situation is very disappointing and hurtful to me so most likely strict NC is my best bet at fixing myself. I firmly agree with the advice of: if they break up with you then it's their responsible to prove that they're worthy of your trust again otherwise things fall into a rinse and repeat pattern. Over and over again.
  14. bwhite00
    Luca let it go man. Major disrespect from both of them. My advice is avoid them BOTH like the plague so you don't crush the dude. That won't accomplish anything. Keep your self esteem. Keep NC no matter WHAT. Keep your head up bro.
  15. bwhite00
    SA, bro our exes are identical. And while they've got free reign to step all over our emotions: anything we say or do is misconstrued and typically met with sarcasm of some sort. Like you, if I intentionally wanted to hurt her feelings to reciprocate how she treated me, quite simply I could demolish her self-esteem with my mere observations of where she is headed in life and the route she's taken. But I don't want that. And rememer what SuperDave says, you can prevent harsh words but you cannot take them back. It's a karma thing bro, just let her rant and in turn... Let her go. And don't look back. Get your stuff if you MUST but I suggest NC as a solution for YOU and not as a method to 'get her back'. Trust me, I have been where you are with the same type of girl. It's ALL for attention. When she said GOODBYE she expects you to bombard her with some sort of panicky reaction or to lash out. Don't do it. Walk away. For you. Much Love.
  16. bwhite00
    Day 6 NC. The last time I broke contact it was because she texted me. I feel so much better now but honestly it is hard to accept things sometimes. If she reaches out to me I dont think i'd be terribly receptive to the idea at this point.
  17. bwhite00
    X, Why did you unblock me on fbook? To post on our mutual friends pages to get attention from me? I think I like it better when you were invisible. The hell you've put me through after I SHOWED you post break up on a consistent basis that the love is still there. Does it really take a month of NC to determine if you want to be with me? All that does is show me I'm barking up the wrong tree. I know NC is literally eating you up. Alternately it's helping me move on. Gotta love psychology. * * * * you for all the unnecessary pain you've caused.
  18. bwhite00
    Day 3 NC. She broke up with me. Then we dated again and she needed 'space'. I will make no more efforts to try and 'win' her back. She broke NC last time and unless she does it repeatedly, I will undoubtedly vanish from her life completely. And not just temporarily only to re-appear a month or two to see if she misses me; but permanently. I know my worth. She made me question myself. I never did that to her. I am proud of who I am today and much stronger because of my experiences in this rs. Surely the next one will be much stronger because of my experiences and because of ENA. Thank you all. And SA hang in there bud, you will reach that point. It is where I am at. Prior to just recently if she would have shown interest I'd have jumped the gun but now I am not anxious to do that. A big improvement.
  19. bwhite00
    Day 2 NC. I was 4 days in and she texts me 'why can't I stop thinking about you?' to which I replied 'cuz I'm awesome'. Maybe not the best response but the truth is all of us are awesome and we don't need validation from anyone to feel that way about ourselves. SA, she's playing you bro, just like my ex. Her and I are on a month of mutual NC and I broke it once to tell her I got a dog, she * * * * * es that '3 days isn't 30' then texts me 4 days later saying she can't stop thinking of me. Hang in there and do NOT contact her.
  20. bwhite00
    Good insight SA. I had 4 days NC and I broke it. Big mistake. On day 3 NC now and I will not break it for anything. Time to make them squirm and feel some discontent about their idiotic decisions.
  21. bwhite00
    I adopted a Miniature Schnauzer to replace you in my life. Now I know what love without games and hurt feels like. You broke up with me when things were rough... I was getting clean and you couldn't stick around through that trying time in my life. Now I've got 7 months clean and you're wasted with your retarded 'friends' evey day of the week. I'm headed in a great direction you're spiralling out of control. After two months we dated for a month. I did he best I could to make you happy: took you out regularly, gave you awesome orgasms daily and generally showed you what you were missing. One morning I slip and tell you I love you and now you need space? Take all the * * * * ing space you need you attention-seeking drama queen. You are not worthy of my time and affection NOT the other way around. You are nothing to me.
  22. bwhite00
    NC day 3. I got a miniature schnauzer so I have a lot of my mind other than her. The way I see it a new dog is better than my ex because 1) it will always show love 2) never be disrespectful (on purpose!) 3) God willing, be there 5 years from now through thick and thin no matter what! I think about her less and less. I broke nc 4 days ago but honestly in two weeks we've had maybe 2 conversations. I have nothing that needs to be said at this point.
  23. bwhite00
    And the fact that I am the ever optimistic Sagittarius... very persistent to a fault sometimes. And I sell cars so I'm used to going after things I want and usually with some degree of success. This is our second break-up (she dumped me this time) and the first time... I got her back with consistently reaching out to her. Not acting pathetic just going after her. Ironically I broke up with her the first time and a lot of it had to do with my chemical dependency issues. This time I've changed for the better (7 months clean) and she's gone off the deep end partying and even doing drugs Ive heard. Hate to see that happen. But in this case, sadly, the damage is irreversible. The pain she caused was unjust and the trust is gone. No sense in talking to her about anything. Oh well. Onward.
  24. bwhite00
    NC Day 2. I had 4 days and broke it via text. I got a dog and wanted her opinion on some stuff : learn from my mistakes... Bad move! I told her I wasn't going to contact her for 30 days... And I slipped up because I was excited about my new pet. Needless to say she called me out on it. She made me feel like a loser so I won't be contacting her again, period. It's hard to describe the sense of panic you feel when you text a person you love... And silene. It puts you in panic mode. I will not be texting or calling after 30 days. She can put herself into panic mode if she ever tries to reach me again. Funny thing, when she replies to my breaking NC finally, I felt s sense of satisfaction that she was too weak-willed to just ignore me thus I felt no need to contact afterwards. I think my situation is a little sketchy because post BU we eventually dated for a few weeks just to have her act immature and crazy again. I will not fail this time.
  25. bwhite00
    My ex is the SAME way, drunk texts, curt answers and all. Your best bet is to keep doing what you're doing and that's my best bet too. Hang in there brother.
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