There is so much weird messed up stuff going on in my head, and I'm sure this isn't the right topic I'm posting in, but for the moment I just need some reassurance. I'm going to Malaysia next year for a few months and I need injections. That means I have to sign up with a doctor (this is England by the way!) because I've been at university for the past 3 years so have to change doctors now that I'm living at home again. The thing is that I have been known to cut myself (I won't go into the reasons for it). Never really badly but if I have to have an examination they might notice the scars. I can see them but I don't know if that's just because I know that they're there. A couple of people have commented, but I'm accident prone by nature so nobody has got suspicious. Recently I've been cutting around my wrist because it's covered by my watch and I'm sure the nurse won't make me take my watch off, but I also have some scars on my stomach - she won't look there will she? The other thing is that I'm scared that she'll say something to me and I'll break down in tears, I'm sure it wouldn't take much. They don't ask you anything about your state of mind when you register with a doctor do they? I have to do it before the middle of September, I've been putting it off since June because I know that they weigh you and I want to lose a pound or two before I go! (That's another story!) I kind of feel like a time bomb. I've never been able to talk to anyone about how I feel, and I'm sure that one day I'm going to either burst or break down. Maybe it's just the fact that someone is going to ask things about me that scares me. And I'll have to answer, I won't be able to change the subject or run away like I normally do!
Sorry, I waffled! If anyone knows what happens when you register with a doctor I'd be grateful to know, so that I can be prepared! Thank you!
