EvoGenesisv

thanks for all the help guys, but I thought about it for a while now, and I think it is kinda of a setup too. I was thinking that I should leave her, but at the same time I want to stay with her. I'm confused hhahahah. Any suggestion ...stay or leave. It looks like she has just been thinking about her feelings and never mind.

I have been seeing my ex-girlfriend again for about 3 months now since our break up in October. We have only been in the relationship for about 3 months since the break up. The reason we broke up is that she cheated on me with another guy. I hated her for that, but at the same time I was in love with her (I know it was to early for love, but she made me feel and do things that I have never done with another girl. Love has no time or place, it just happens). I told her I loved her, but she never said it back. After a month with the other guy she cheated on me with, she came back to me, she didn't say it, but I knew it. Ok now here is the confusing part even for me. Since we started dating again she said I loved you to me, would right me text messages that say I miss you (but she still wouldn't make it offical, didn't want to be girl and boy friend). Everything was going well until one weekend. I left one weekend with out seeing her, she would call me and tell me that she wanted to be with me, but I couldn't. She told me that she went to a party and got drunk and threw up and was sick. I got mad at her and was being an ass with her becuase I didn't like her drinking, and on top of that she threw up, so I'm guessing she drank alot. I was being an ass with her all weekend, then Sunday night something came over me that made me miss her, so I called her up and asked If I can come over, she said yes. When I was there she brought up a conversation that basically said that since I wasn't around on the weekend and was being a dick to her, she doesn't know what to do now. She doesn't know if she wants to be with me and that she needs some time to think about it. She said that I will never be satisfied with her and she will never be satisfied with me. We talked and eventually I agreed to give her time. The whole week that I was suppose to give her time she kept calling me and telling me to come over and hang out, study, and eat. So I did, Then it was her birthday that friday, everything seems fine until at night, she lied to me that she is not going to go to a party, becuase I was there at her apartment and that she didn't want me to come I think. So i dropped her friend off at the party instead. I felt something itchy so I came back to her apartment and no one was home. I was pissed she lied to me. So then she was having a birthday party the next day (Saturday). She was all nice to me and hugging on me and kissing me, becuase there was a hot girl at the party that she knew liked me (trying to make the hot girl jealous I think). After that weekend I thought everything was ok and that she have made her deceision. She would still call me and tell me to come over and so forth again. Friday was valentines day. I gave her 2 dozen roses in the morning, took her to get her nails done, and then we came home and I cooked her a candle lit dinner. On valentines she gave me a card that said "My heart Likes your heart...a lot!", then in the card she wrote "I have been having so much fun with you + you're so good to me. You do so much for me + I really appreciate it I love you so much + I look forward to loving you even more. We hung out the next day and everything was good, then on Sunday I brought up the whole conversation, I asked her did she make her decesion yet? She said "NO". I asked her how long. She said that all these time I was suppose to have time to think about it I never really had a chance, so I need more time. I was mad in the inside, but still i gave her time. The next day she would still call me up and talk to me, buy this time I decided if she wants to talk to me or wants me to come over I'm not going to because I was going to give her sometime. I didn't see her until Friday becuase we promised a friend that we would go to his house warming. Everything was going well, having fun partying, and drinking. Until we came home (I guess she was drunk). I was lying in bed with her and rubbing her body. she told me no, but I said "but I haven't got to feel your body in awhile". she said "just dont't push on my stomach then". I thought that was a ok to do what I was doing. So i did what I was doing and then I got on top of her and started to get more intimate, then I noticed that she was passed out and wouldn't wake up. So, then I quit with what I was doing to her and put her clothes back on and held her becuase I was worried about her. I thought she was sick becuase she wouldn't wake up from me tapping, kissing, shaking, and talking to her. So, the next morning we woke up and whatever laying in bed. I said I love you and she said she loved me and everything. I was laying there and I brought the question again, if she have made her deceision. she said no and I asked why. She said becuase she doesn't know if she wants to be with me beucase I don't respect her. I said I do, why do say that. Eventually the conversation came to where she said that I didn't respect her becuase of what I did to her last night. I took advantage of her while she was passed out and that I didn't resepct her at all. If I did I wouldn't have done what I did. Honestly I thought she let me and that I did quit when i notcied she passed out. Now she said she doesn't know if she is gonna forgive me for what I did. She said that is the worst thing a person could do. She also said that it doesn't bother her of what happened, but when she thinks about it, it makes her think that she was violated and it only bother her when she thinks about it? Now my questions are: Is it my fault for what I did, I feel that it is my fault, but I don't think it is? Should I still wait around to see if I have a chance with have chance with her? What can I do to make her forgive me? Will there be any chance for us? Does she have someone else in mind? Is she picking between us 2, 3, 4, 0r 5? Basically I just want to know is that, all this time and waiting will there be a chance with me and her. I love her and she says she loves me, why can't we be together. If she doesn't want to be togheter then don't keep me around like this. Let me move on with my life, instead of sitting in the dark waitng for light. There are other girls out there that want me, but I want to be with her. She is the world to me, but if she doesn't want me in her world then let me go, so all this pain and hurt will stop. What should I do?