Rev_Limit

Well its been a while since I came back here.. heres the link from the last Thread.. well i did go home(alaska).. but I returned to Wisconsin with my mother, because she wanted to visit my grandmother.. The ex girlfriend called me up one day and told me that she was having a little party for her b-day and told me to bring my mom.....so i told my mom that and my mom said it was fine.....we left at 7 and got there about 7:15.....when we arrived at her house i helped my mom out of the car and we started up the steps to her house....as we got to the door i heard some voices coming from the opened window next to the front door......it was a womens voice and a few others....as i was about to knock on the door i heard my name...so i paused and listened.... Women's Voice 1 ur ex-boyfriend only has a mom they must be poor right!" Women's Voice 2 Wheres his father? Does he even have one? His mother must be a bad wife or something"... Man's Voice say things like that someone might hear" Women's Voice 2 thinks that he's so good because he dated you....." Women's Voice 1 fall for guys like him they can't support you and they cant do anything for you Pa..." Pa's Voice would you guys say things like that about him he's been a good friend to me ever since the breakup and he still loves me so much and i dont kare if he's rich or not he's a good person..." I looked at my mom and saw her crying and in pain...it hurt me so bad to see my mom being disrespected like that...so i said mom lets go....As we walked away i saw someone pop their head in the window...we got into the car and then saw someone come out of the house trying to tell us to stop...but we didnt and just drove away...my mother was crying and saying that she did the best she could to make me happy...i brusted into tears and told her not to say things like that.....my cell phone ringed, it was my ex-girlfriend, Ex my parents want you to come back" "they need to talk to you and your mom" Me okay dont worry about it my mom doesnt feel so well so im just gonna take her home dats all...." Ex(Crying) so sorry for wat my parents and family said about you and your mom, i dont kare about any of that, your still special to me," that following day my mother took a flight back home before I did.. I stayed behind for a while.. I talked to my ex.. I told her I still love her, but I guess no matter what I do her mother will never like me and I will never win her back.. I felt incredibly hurt inside, I tried to hold the tears back.. she held me for a while.. and I just saided goodbye.. and left.. She told me she was sorry for breaking my heart and making me feel even worst.. I told her its alrite.. I'll be fyne.. but deep inside I was all ripped up... I know someday I'll make it through.. on the flight home I thought alot and I couldnt stop the tears.. I felt so alone.. so hurt.. Just thought I would share.. I chased after her but I got more than I expected..

Well last night the ex girlfriend wanted to come over and hang out but I wasn't home and well she called me this morning asking where I was.. and well I feel bad because I wasnt here.. for some reason I felt like I wanted to see her last night but missed out on my chance.. I kno I shouldnt feel bad but I just do.. Im slowly moving on from the hurt she put me through.. but why do I feel bad about not being home when she wanted to come see me..when I kno that she's not worth it no more.. well I dont want her back.. but I do miss her..I been in No contact for a good 2 weeks now till today.. Has anyone ever felt this way before.. ??

I see it more like a public notebook, for some reason writing my thoughts out and telling the world allows me to feel better.. some people exercise.. some write things down..ect.. Okay she feels happy to see me, there is some sexual tension between us.. Today I have decided to limit my visits and contact with her.. its just I think I feel like im giving in too much.. I plan to avoid using Messenger to avoid talking to her.. I haven't cry to her.. I just express what I'm feeling, then I make it seem like a joke..and make her laugh about it.. strange.. but yes I'm giving her the space she wants.. I have been showing the strong side of me, Somehow I'm a victim of moodswings..its gonna take some time to get use to everything..but slowly im working my way.. Today I have decided to take a break from everything... get myself out and do things to get her off my mind, she walked out of my life for a reason, and I shouldn't stick around giving myself in to her.. Lately I havent seen the importance of myself.. I love her so much that I forgot to love myself.. so I decided to work on myself for a while.. I know shes not worth my time anymore..and so I decided to take a break for a while.. go back home for christmas... back to alaska.. then return in Jan. and see how things turn out to be..

"wow tonight I couldnt sleep at all.. woke up pretty often.. its really stressing me out.. well I guess Imma wait for this thursday to come along and show her a great time.. I feel like im playing a game.. and its one heck of a heartbreaking one.. somehow inside of me doesnt want to give up.. everyone around me is saying just give it up and try to move on.. but I really want to be with this person and I know there is hope inside.. somehow everyday it makes me more and more attached to her.. my love grows stronger and that is what I fear.. Im on a road that I have never traveled on.. I'll see what the future holds.. " Just needed to get that out.. my thoughts..

thank you.. for the thoughts and tips.. wow tonight I found out she was talking to some other guy from a different location, I was going through her notebook and found a page saying she loves him and everything.. When I saw it my heart drop to the floor.. it really hurted.. Wow .. so much pain.. I asked her who is he.. she saided they arent nothing much.. and that she just talks to him online and she never saw him before.. its just meeting online.. thats when I thought about giving it all up because I mean.. if there is some other guy involve then I shouldnt even be trying anymore.. but as she said they arent nothing.. im just so confused again... it seems I cannot cry anymore.. when i try to cry to let the pain out..the tears just wont come.. its harder to cry now.. maybe im on the steps of moving on already.. I accepted things already.. its just I still want her back so Im going after her.. slowly.. I still feel sad.. but not as much sadness as before.. I use to cry myself to sleep alot.. now I cant seem to do that anymore.. am I slowly letting go.. ??

hmm.. okay so wats best to do if you were to show up without notice..

those are some really great ideas.. thanks..

if you do hang out with her(not saying that you are, just If).. I say .. if your hanging out with her.. show her a good time.. enjoy the time together.. make he laugh, smile and act like you two are just good friends.. don't bring up the past at all.. give her a great day with alot of fun and smiles.. then leave it at that and just go home.. dont try to contact her after that.. let her come to you... maybe later she will be like hey.. wow I really had a great time with him.. this will make her think of you.. well from personal experience it worked for me... make them feel great .. and that keeps them thinking about you.. be like yeah last night i had a great time with him.. if you hang out with her.. just Hold your feelings back.. and enjoy the time.. might benefit to you.. You gotta show her.. what shes missing out on.. a great guy.. someone whos great and fun to hang with... might help you out.. might not.. but its not a bad idea..

she invited me to visit her this thursday... should I bring flowers?? just to say hi.. or nothing at all just show up normal.. i think flowers would make her feel special.. I need advice from the ladies.. if you were expecting a guy to show up at your doorsteps.. and if he shows up with flowers would it be more lets say on the better side.. or would it be like.. wow hes trying really hard.. or would it be the thought that counts type of feeling.. I dont kno where im really going with this questions.. lol=D ..What im trying to say is.. would it be better to show up with flowers as a gift.. something to say hey I care.. just any tips would work.. thanks.. apprecaite it.. =D

tonight was great.. i shared a great time with her... I didnt bring back the past watsoever.. today ii thought I wouldnt make it but I did.. we hanged out all day... Instead of going to that dance we were looking forward to.. we decided to stay in because of the snow.. and so we just hanged out... maded dinner together.. there was a lot of eye contact.. and smiles.. I stayed my distance.. held my hurt in ..and enjoyed the time.... she had a great time and so did I .. we had the longest goodbye hug we ever had in so many months.. im really feeling that if i keep on showing her a good time.. i might be able to make it happen.. I talked to the mom.. showed her I care.. and show her that I can be a fun person to be with.. and so the night was good.. and I thank everyone for their tips.. I'll see how the next time goes.. thank you all..

Okay nevermind.. Im thinking its better off if I just stay home and not visit her till this weekend.. when I go to this dance with her.. I just feel its best if I leave her alone.. instead of running back and forth apologizing.. sorry if i sound desperate.. its just maybe I am.. I just gotta stay strong.. thanks for all the support..

well.. this is what im thinking as of now.. be friends with her.. show her I can still be there for her.. and that im a fun person to be around with.. and not bringing the past back anymore.. yet.. at the same time enjoy my life away from her also.. meaning giving myself the chance to meet other people..and doing other things.. im thinking focus on winning her back.. yet giving myself a chance to start over new.. i kno im in such a big confuse moment as of now.. but I think this is the best way to increase the chances of winning her back.. who knows maybe I'll move on along the way also.. i just had to get that off my mind.. without this site I dont kno who I would express my thoughts to.. thanks.. alot..

thanks I will take your word for it..

well.. last night ii kinda ruined it.. we went to her friend's concert..we had fun during the concert.. I kept all the feelings inside.. and held on.. showed her a fun time.. and then on the ride home.. I ruined it.. I talked to her about the relationship.. i felt it wasnt such a good idea but my heart took over me.. and I went on pleading agian.. and I dont kno why i even brought up.. i feel like i ruined it for myself..but.. she is still willing to go with me this saturday to this dance.. i guess this time I will show her a good time and not bring up anything at all.. i just have to do it.. even if it hurts.. i must hold all the feelings back.. i have to admit its a easier saided then done.. but I believe I can win her back and so I must try.. okay today i was thinking about going to visit her.. and bring her some flowers.. just go and drop by to say hi for 30 mins and leave... i wanted to apologize to her about last night also.. im not sure this is a good idea at all.. but from what I think I should just drop on by ... tell her Im sorry for bringing up the relationship last night.. the reason I feel this is a must I have to do is because I want to show her that she was really helping me by allowing me to talk to her.. and that she shouldnt feel bad.. I need to show her I can be strong.. because last night I felt weak.. did I ruined it for myself.. ?? is going tonight to see her a good idea?? im at a very confused state right now.. its driving me crazy.. =( and thanks once again for the tips..Im not sure I can win her back at all.. but I want to try..I kno the chances of failing is high..... but im just not willing to give up yet.. from now on I will do everything correctly.. take things slowly.. see how it turns out.. wish me the best of luck..

okay so today i talked to her.. and we decided to get rid of the past.. and start out as friends.. a new friendship.. and maybe i can find a way how to build her love for me back.. cuz I kno deep down inside of her im still in there a lil bit.. Im going to win her back slowly and I hope Im not going down the wrong way.. there is a Dance coming up this weekend and she saided she would go as my date.. so I guess we pretending the past never happened and we gonna take this time to get to know each other again.. I pray for the best.. and In hope to win her heart back I will keep on trying.. thanks for all your help.. I will keep a diary in here about trying to win her back.. I must take it slow yes.. even if it hurts a lil.. as long as I kno there is hope I will keep on trying.. Thanks for helping .. Im going to focus on the mother.. make her like me.. and I will focus on her also.. to win her heart back..