james_cfh1

Wel its been almost 2 months since the ex and I broke up with no contact at all the past month or so. Im feeling alot better lately now that I havent had any contact with her. I slipped last wekend and went out with some friends and afterwards drove by her house again after I dropped my frineds off. I still dont know why I do that. I didnt stop or anything just drove by. I guess I kinda wanted to drop off a letter I had written for her but I decided against it. I went to a few CoDA meetings and decided that it wasnt really for me. Then I got invited to go to churcch and it was really cool. Ive been having a good time there making some new friends and trying to get a different outlook on life. Also I decided that Im going back to school to take some classes on music theory and recording studio. Ive been doing alot of writing the past couple of months and the cover band has been really keeping me busy. Along with my original thing I have going on. Ive just about turned my home PC into a recording studio. Anyone who wants to check out my stuff feel free. I would love to have opinions on it soulclutch.surf.to/ Ill stop by to give another update soon. Thanks everyone and remember time heals all wounds.

Wow. Ive written some out before just like that. You have got to let it go man. Whenever Im hurting and missing my ex I just think about this. If she truly loved you she would be with you. All you are doing is wasting your time, energy, and love on someone who does not deserve it. Ive ben away from my ex for 2 weeks now and it took me a while to realize that she does not deserve me. She deserves someone just like her ex becasue maybe shes used to being treated badly? Who knows. I still wonder what my ex is up to and I have friends that kinda tell me whats up. But I cant let it consume my being. You gotta stay strong and the longer you are away from her the better you will feel. And quit drinking so much that just makes it worse. Think of you as a singlle person, not of you and her as one person. Peace. James

Hi Cycosis, Im in a situation kinda like yours right now but I was with the girl for a year. Her ex treated her like dirt and really messed her up (or so she says, I really dont know what to believe anymore) We did everything together. We were pretty much living together (She stayed the night at my house 6 or 7 nights a week) She was jobless for 3 months and I helped support her. Car payments, cigs, food, weed, booze etc.. I have known this girl for around 13 years and we were always like best friends. Then about 3 months ago she got a new job and started partying with her friends and spending less and less time with me. I became angry and frustrated. She kinda blamed the whole thing on her ex, saying she didnt want me to hurt her and that he messed her up. (He cheated on her and got anohter woman pregnant) Anyways I havent talked to her since I returned her things to her. When I went to drop off her things she couldnt even look me in the eyes. She was talking but looked at the ground the whole time. I know that she hasnt been going home at night (she lives with her father) So I think she must be seeing someone else. I sick of the pain. She still trys to contact me every few days. What Im trying to do is just forget about it and move on. Its the only thing I can do. I think you should do the same. Its not worth putting yourself though the pain waiting for her to make up her mind weather she wants to be with you or not. Believe me I know what you are going through casue I am going through it right now. But sometimes it just wasnt meant to be. And If it is meant to be she will come back to you. Instead of drinking maybe you should work out. Drinking never helps its a temporary solution to a long term problem. Oh and get a punching bag. Its less expensive in the long run that fixing the holes in the walls and a broken hand. Peace James

Hi I just wanted to know what everyone here thought about partners that break up to sleep with other people then come back begging to get back together. Ive had this happen to me a few times. One time I declined telling her that I didnt want her anymore since she had sex with another. 2 other times I did take them back but I never felt the same about them. So I ended up breaking it off with them. I just wanted to know what other ppl thought about this kind of situation.

Hi. Just wanted to stop in and type out an update on the situation. My ex has been calling me still like every other day. She called last night and wanted all of her things she left over at my place so I told her I would bring them over to her. I took her everything but her computer (Which I built for her a year ago.) The motherboard fried on it and I dont have the cash right to fix it. (Im a computer technician by trade) So I told her that I would fix it for her and bring it over whenever I can. Anyways I took all the rest of her stuff. When I got there she was waiting outside and came to help me unload her stuff. She was still wearing the promise ring I bought for her about 6 months ago. ( I wanted it to be an engagment ring but she called it a promise ring) We didnt say much to each other except that her allergies were acting up. I wasnt comfortable so I told her I had to go and I left. I did leave a poem I wrote for her and a letter. In the letter I apologized for following her and for "treating her like a piece of meat". I also said in the letter that I can and will move on but I will always love her. Im growing stronger each day and have been talking to other girls and Ive got my old band back together and started playing guitar again. This one girl in particular wants me to come over to her place and watch a movie but I havent decided if Im ready or not. Shes alot younger than I am. (Shes 21) and has a 10 month old child. Thank you for all the advice especially cookies for all the compliments. It made me feel really good.

Thank you cookies and Gilgamesh so much for reading my story and posting advice. It feels good to know that at least someone doesnt think Im going insane. Her and her sister have both told me I have major issues and Im obbssessed. (I talk to her sister on the computer sometimes) I know I have the strength to get over this and that time heals all wounds. Its just so hard for me to let go becasue Ive known her so long that she feels like family to me. The first time we daated she was totally in love with me and I broke her heart because I got back with my ex. ( We had a child together out of wedlock so I decided to marry her so I would have rights to the child...same last name etc..) I felt so bad for so long about dumping her becasue I truly did love her I just couldnt be with her because I was married at the time. Years passed by and I still had feeling for her and we would talk from time to time. Till the day came when we were both single and decided to give it another go. I feel like Ive lost a member of my family and I would have dont just about anything to get her back. But I guess it just wasnt meant to be and I will go on with my life. Thanks again for the advice it really helps to hear what others think about this situation. I tried talking to my guy friends about it and all they seem to care about is taking me out to meet other girls and partying. I guess it would be better than sitting here thinking about what could have been tho.

Hello. My g/f of a year recently broke up with me. Im 31 and she is 29 Ive known her for 13 years and weve dated before for a about 5 months or so but that was over 5 years ago. She is a drinker (sometimes heavy drinker) and marijuana smoker. I was attached to her the first time we dated and have always loved her but this time when we were older and more mature so I decided to take it seriously. We were together 6 nights a week for about a year. She practically lived with me. We had a few jealousy issues stemming from her cheating with me on her ex b/f on Y2k. I guess I thought since she cheated with me on him she would cheat with someone else on me. I think thee reason she cheated on him was becasue he was really bad to heer and cheated on her, he promised to be there on Y2K but never showed so she called me up. For the year we were together I tried to be excellent to her, buying her stuff she wanted, loaning her money when she needed it for car payments, doing things for her all the time, Sending her cards, flowers and poetry. All of our problems started when she got a job as a waitress about 4 months ago. She would always want to go out and party with her friends from work and most of them were 19 to 25 y/o males. We also had a few arguments about sex. She hardly ever wanted me. (The first time we dated she was all over me and threw herself at me) I always initiated and felt rejected if she said no. I wouldnt yell or scream at her or anything. If she said no I would say sstuff like I guess I shouldnt have even tried anything. Anohter thing we argued about was the type of relationship it was. She wanted a "casual" relationship while I took it seriously. How could I not be serious with her staying at my house 5 or 6 nights a week? One of the things that ended us was we had that argument where I said "I guess I shouldnt have tried anything" and the next 2 days she didnt call me and woulnt retuen my phone calls. So I drove by her friends house and she was there partying. She freaked out and said I was stalking her. I was worried about her is all. After that she still woulndt call or return my phone calls so I went looking for heer again and she was there again partying with them. She ran in the apartment and I told the guy that owned the apt I wasnt leaving until I talked to her. He called her outside and she was acting like I was there to harm her or something. I told her to stop playing mind games with me and either be with me or break up. She broke up. Its been about 2 weeks and she has called me several times since (about once every other day). I sent her an I Miss You card in the mail about 4 days ago with a very pretty love not descibing how I felt about her. How wonderfull, beautifull and how much she means to me etc....She called me today and said thank you for the card and said she would call me tomorrow to talk. It was a pretty good conversation but still no I love yous involved. Just Ill speak to you tomorrow. I went on about my day and I was out pretty late tonight and had a few drinks. I get the briight idea to call her. It went ok for the first few minutes then I started saying how much I love and miss her and she said I was obbsessed with her and was a stalker. And how it wouldnt work between us. I pleaded a little more but finally said ok and she said she was going to sleep. I was already out and I was thinking maybe if I go to her house I can talk to her in person before she goes to bed. I drive by and her light was on so I knocked on the window and opened the blinds and told me to leave. Then turned her light off. I waited a few minutes hoping she wouldd come out but she didnt so I left. On the way home I was thinking why wont she jusst quit calling me? If Im crazy and obbssessed with her why cant she leave me alone and let me get over her? Or am I really obbsessed and crazy? I know going to her house was wrong and it was very late but I felt like I needed to make a last ditch effort to see her in person before I let it go. At least I can say I tried my best to get her back.