perplexxed

insofar stole my line !!! I completely agree with her, so won't just repeat her/him... One thing though that I think is worth mentioning here is your age (both of you)... You are at such a critical age in terms of how you show your affections and expect just the same in return from your partner !!! and she on the other hand seems to be at an age that wants to explore more !!! Considering that she has been with you ever since she was barely a teen (and she still is ) I get the feeling that aside from everything else she is just curious how life would be without you...(I believe she needs to experience that sooner or later in life anyway) and all these points aside, YOU do help her in taking for granted ! you feed that...yeah maybe you don't show your upset when she decides to go out with her friends as opposed to you etc. but she knows you're there for her after all... I think she feels you love her so much that no matter what she does, you won't break the relationship !!! well, you need to give that attitude of hers a shock (only for the best) ! [i wouldn't have suggested this only if I could see this relationship had the potential to go on and be benefitial to both of you (at least at this point)] I think seeing how much you love and care for her, it is extremely difficult for you to come out of the box and look at the situation the way we (outsiders) look at it...it just doesn't look good and no matter how much you love her, this is not what you deserve !!! too bad some of us seem to fall and carry on with the more difficult ones...(I was in a similar situation myself when I was 19) I guess it's related to male's need and crave for challenge lol

I guess I talked too much that it pushed everybody away...I just meant to clarify, since my first post was pretty vague I thought... looking forward to hearing more from you guys !!! Cheers, perplxxed

slagar We have been together for 3 years now. The first year it wasn't too serious...more like a fling! but in the last two years, it took a different turn...we started introducing each other as BF, GF to others ! and over time (can't exactly remember when --- maybe a year and a half ago, started saying "I love you" to each other. So on one hand, this is what I constantly think...how cos it's my 1st relationship, that's why yara yara yara, but not sure if IT'S ME ! I mean I'm not sure, if I would have these urges in any situation regardless! in which case, if I go ahead and simply respond to these urges and end up in the same boat a few years from now with another person, whom I wouldn't even feel as much for, (or end up by myself) wouldn't I call myself a total loser for blowing up everything in the first place !? so that is my dilemma for calling it quits ! friscodi and FCTex Sorry I didn't clarify in my first post...We do express our love to each other ! in fact we have been since almost a year and a half ago (like I said above in this post), but since it has been my only experience, was not sure if this is it ! if this is what people are looking for or there might be something even better out there !!! Actually, I did imagine it very clearly a little while ago... I told her about my dilemma and told her that I have made up my mind and want us to take a break...she couldn't believe it at first, but when she did, she burst into tears and stormed out of my place and completely blocked me off ! msn, phone, email...everything !!! I think in the first few days I was intoxicated over having finally broken off the commitment thing !!! but after a few days, I guess I realized what had happened !!! I felt miserable! I missed her like crazy, but more than anything else I missed her friendship, cos we were really very close (don't wanna say best friends, cos I think it sounds cheesy! but I guess that's what it was) Without getting into the unnecessary details, I'll just say that she took me back the 2nd time I went to her after like 10 days !!! so to answer your practice, yes I did feel more than miserable, but don't you feel like that after every break up ! Well, not every break up exactly, but after one that you felt strongly for... so I know I feel strongly for her and for what we have, but not sure if I feel strongly enough ! another words, not sure if one would have those urges in any relationship, thereforeeee it is just best to avoid them!

It's my first relationship...or at least the first serious one...been almost 3 years !!! can't even believe it myself... everything's beautiful...I'm afraid of saying that I love her, because don't want to pretend I know exactly what love is ! but can at least say with certainty that our relationship is a lot more meaningful, alive and caring than most others' that I see around me ! I really like her a lot and care about her without limits!!! She has a lot of qualities that I really adore, for instance, she's unbelievably ambitious ! (much more than myself), which serves as a good influence on me...she's extremely smart and is a hard worker ! never gives up...loves to keep up with me in sports and shows a lot of enthusiasm ! we go to school together…both of us in sciences ! We have a lot in common…got a lot of fun together…!!! we work out together...study together, etc. She's a great thinker as well...reads a lot and cares to make positive humanitarian changes through her courier (which I call too ambitious) ! anyways I don't wanna go on forever, but in so many ways (when looking at her qualities) she's my dream girl, but I don't know why these things are not quite blinding me...and it's been like that ever since we started going out...I was never infatuated by her (she was…she admitted), even though she's very attractive as well...many strangers have dared to gimme complements on her in clubs, beaches, etc! She's super fit and has got that European beauty ! I don't know what is wrong with me! She's extremely kind and caring as well ! to the point that I sometimes have to tell her to consider some limits in being nice, because I might not be able to respond nicely! So yeah, despite all that I would like to see other people as well…I try to convince myself that I only have the urge, because it is my first serious relationship and don't want it to be my only one ! but not sure about that ! I don't know if that is really the case, or I tend to think that way because I don't love her enough or something!!! Have had these doubts for a while now…on one hand, I don't wanna kill something beautiful so easily (knowing that I might never ever have this with another woman), but on the other hand, don't wanna go through life having these doubts! and what if they grow over time and I have to break off the relationship in a few years ! now we're both yonge and it is easier to recover after a break up and maybe after a while start another one (if happened to see somebody we like), but in a few years, when we are in our thirties, it would be harder (perhaps especially for her) I don't wanna be selfish here and drag on something that I know will eventually die off Sometimes I feel if I could only prove to myself that this is the best possible thing that could ever happen to me, I would be content with what I have and the urges would disappear! so I tried to introduce the idea of taking a break and see other people for a while, but she totally hated the idea and even got hurt to hear that I would even have the urge to do something like that ! She believes that I'm the man of her life and believes very strongly in our relationship! That is another thing that stops me from doing anything that would harm our relationship, because I really can not afford to hurt her in anyway ! I don't know what to do! Don't wanna be sneaky and unethical here and see other people while with her…cos she would never ever do that to me…but I get the chance a lot here and there…I teach a lot of fitness and dance classes that women take, so it is extremely easy for me to meet people…(donno if that's a blessing or a curse !!!) Anyways, I would appreciate some piece of advise ! I hope my post is not too confusing ! just wrote whatever came to mind and didn't try to polish it in anyway…sorry  perplexxed !