leepcom

wow, I'm very surprised I got so many replies already, this place is sweet! You guys were exactly what I needed and I am so glad for your responses because I really just needed somebody to talk to. Yeah, I could go to my friends but they are the type of guys that would be like "dude, don't be gay and get with some other girl," and I really do love this girl and want to make it work out. replying to scouts' response... I agree with you in everything you say especially about the control issue. When ever I express my opinion on anything it gets shot down because she puts this guard up like she feels that I am trying to control her and I am not like that at all! I want to listen to her and I've shown her that I want to make her happy. And also when you mentioned how you think she feels suffacated in the relationship. I would never want to make her feel that she has no room to be who she is, but I think this might go hand in hand with the fear of not experiencing high school to its fullest because she is dating me. But I have told her many, many times that I would never want her to grow up and regret anything she does in her life right now. On the other hand, I just wish there was a way to balance her high school life and her relationship because a lot of the times, I feel left in the dust. Once again, I never get upset unless she makes plans over something we had planned, otherwise, I'm totally cool with whatever she wants to do. Another thing she told me when she mentioned the break is that, the reason for the break besides the arguing is the simple fact that she wants to realize that she loves me and by going on a break she thinks that she will miss me and realize what she has done and come back to me. I'm not sure exactly what she means but, to me, that sounds ridiculous and by that time I already agreed that I won't argue about the things I said in my last post anymore. Honestly though, when we argue, it isn't bad at all. And seriously, when we are together, we have a blast and our conversation is never dull or akward. Oh and I almost forgot, in a recent conversation we had together she told me she wants to hang out with guys. I just told her that there was never a time that I said you are not aloud to hang out with guys and she agreed but it almost seemed like she was telling me that she is moving on. And the reason that I really have no social life anymore is because EVERYTIME I go out, there will be a girl hanging out with me and my friends that goes to the same school that my girlfriend goes to and she somehow starts liking me and the girl will go back to school and tell everyone that she likes me, and my girlfriend doesn't deserve me, etc. Then this all lands on me because my girlfriend thinks I cheated on her and then I am no longer aloud to hang out with those people. I'm not a bad guy at all, I would never do anything that would hurt her and have been there for her in absolutly everything she has been through. It just really sucks that we have gotten so far and all of a sudden everything changes and I am the worst guy in the world because I feel we should hang out a little more. All in all, you guys are right, she just wants to move on and I'm just in her way. This sucks bad...

Hey i'm new to this forum but i'm looking for a little bit of advice or anything really at this point. I have been dating this girl for about 3 years coming up and we were definitly high school sweethearts. I'm 20 years old now and she is 17 years old and still a senior in high school. We have always been "the couple that everybody wants" as our friends used to say and really have lived up to this expectation. Starting from the very beginning, it took us about a month of dating to actually kiss and almost 2 years until we finally had sex for the first time. Everything from the kiss to the first time we had sex, it was never a bad experience for us. Along with everything being perfect, we also never argued, about anything, because we really had nothing to argue about. We did, however, start arguing about really ridiculous things last summer and it's pretty much the same argument that never gets old. The argument is over a few various relationship opinions that we have. The first argument that I have with her is when I mention to her that we need to spend more time with eachother. I feel that having a successful relationship you should at least see eachother 4 times a week for a good amount of time. She turns it around and tells me I have no friends and I need to hang out with them. I admit, I hang out with my friends about one or two times a month and that's it, but I tell her some people lose touch with thier friends after high school. Either way, I just feel distant from her when we only hang out once or twice a week. The next argument is about her showing more affection towards me. Not just affection, but just caring for me as a whole. 99% of the time, I usually call her and 99% of the time she gets off the phone with me because her friend calls or she needs to do something. Which I am completely understanding but I just feel that sometimes it would be nice if she would send me text messages or voicemails telling me she misses me or whatever, just to know that she is thinking of me. Also, we have never really been affectionate with eachother. I could probably count how many times we have had sex on my two hands in the past three years and I am by no means an ugly guy. And finally, she has this problem of not telling me things. This is by far the most upsetting to me because I am all about honesty. I literally have to guess what she is doing throughout her day because she never tells me what she is doing. She tells me that she is affraid to tell me things because she's affraid I will get mad at her. I tell her the only reason I get upset about anything is because she keeps it from me for so long. Anyways, back to what this whole thing is supposed to be about. Recently, she told me that she is sick of me arguing with her about these things and told me she will go on a break with me if I don't change. I told her I was willing to compromise with her and listened to how she wanted me to change. She told me that I need to let her do whatever she wants and we are no longer aloud to argue and she feels that this will make our relationship stronger. Its been about 2 weeks since this change and I feel incredibly depressed about the whole thing. She just had a dance yesterday and I'm obviously too old for those things now but I really wanted to see how pretty she looked and she also went out to eat at a restaurant right by my house(we live a half an hour away from eachother.) I kept on giving her hints that I wanted to see her at least before she went to the dance to take some pictures with her but she gave me no sign that she wanted me to come so I gave up. After we got off the phone with eachother at about 11 AM that morning I didn't hear from her until about 11:45 PM that night. She was at her friends house with a bunch of people and we weren't on the phone very long. I couldn't even ask her how the dance went. All along I never got upset with her and was actually happy that she even called me. I really don't know what to do at this point and would love to have some sort of give and take relationship so we both can be happy. It almost seems like she is trying to control me and this is definitly not what I want and as a matter of fact I've never gotten my say in any part of our relationship. Just to add to this. Her dad has never ever shown any type of affection towards her or her family and her family is literally affraid of him. He would never beat them and he rarely yells at them. I try to tell her that it's not normal to be so affraid of your own dad and that he should care more for his family. This is a really bad topic for her and she gets pretty pissed at me when I bring it up. And wow I just wrote a book but I guess it was kinda nice to get it all out there when I really can't with her. Thanks in advance for whoever takes the time to read this.