Pegasus

I think better is with eyes closed. Ok, not the first one because you could miss the right spot but after that - closed

I will be in your position tomorrow night.... ;-). I hope it will go good.

I don't think there is a proper timeline at all - you say it when you really feel it - on a first date or year later. Doesn't really matter if you're saying the truth..

Also, I would like to meet the "they", as in "they say if you love something let it go and it comes back to you its yours". Whoever said this is living in some fantasy world and is a moron. First of all, I've never seen this come to fruition in my life and secondly this statement insinuates a sense of ownership with another person and with love and a finality that "OK, they're back, it's yours, case closed" that is completely ridiculous.

And again to the core - friscodj, this is great. I wondered about the same thing million times but never actually verbalized it like that. You rock

I have no job. College is going bad. My girlfriend was all I had, and now she's gone. What's the point anymore?

HI Iwantittoend,

I know that now everything looks like it's going nowhere, that life is just one big failure. I know it because I was at the same place like 8 months ago, and yes, I was thinking about suicide a lot. So, it's been 8 months and I'm still here and I'm not sad that I didn't do it back then.

A lot of things change through time and you honestly don't really know what will happen tomorrow, or day after or day after....you get the idea. Try to see what are you doing wrong (if anything) and one by one try to fix it and make yourself a better person.

Life will give you another chance - just be prepared to catch it.

Hi Multi,

nobody can answer your question and that is the nice thing about life. You never know what will happen tomorrow. Even if it's all dark, there could be some light after all

Hi 4answers,

There is no magic formula to get rid of regrets and guilt. I know it very well because I was and still am fighting with something like that. I guess the time should pass and that is the only thing. My only advice to you is - learn from that experience. Learn that if you don't treat people the way you should, they would leave. And that is pretty good point for the future. Just don't make the same mistake twice. That would be really really bad thing.

finewine,

I'm two months behind you after relationship of same lenght. I think I'm following you pretty good and I think you're doing fine - better than me, but I still have two months as spare...

Sure we do need that pat on the back when things get ugly. And I know very well that it is so hard to stop judging yourself for what you did or didn't do (and you think you should have). I know it is told million times and I never believed when people were telling me but - it gets better with time. It is not perfect at poing where I am now (it's 8 months after BU) but it's definitelly easier. There are still regrets but they are deeper and deeper under the surface every day. Hang in there, it will be ok.

Guess what - two girls I met after my BU had the same name as my ex Isn't that crazy? 3 months? Sure, it's normal - everybody heals on it's own timeline...

Guitarman,

I know it's hard, I went through it myself (and still not there yet). The only thing I can say is that you really have to act as a real men and just go through it. Don't whine too much because it will be much harder. You have regrets and that is totally normal so don't obsess on those regrets because it will get you nowhere.

Live your life day by day and after a while it will become a bit easier. Don't hate yourself because you already got punishment for your actions. It's like a prisoner that asks himself when in jail "why did I do it?". You and I both did some * * * * and now we have to live with consequences. It is not nice in any way but that is what we got. Hopefully in the future there will be a chance to make it right with some other person. Use this story that happened to you as learning experience and don't do the same mistakes again. What happened, happened. There is no way back.

I never asked question do I look fat in that.

I don't see the point of it.

And honestly if I were the guy being asked that question I would go crazy!

Hm, how about a response like: Does my penis looks small in these pants?

You can count on her being (if stupid) or (if smart)

Damn syrix, I wish you were single so I would have a chance

Real answer would be: "well, if you wouldn't look fat you would never ask that question

How many of you guys have heard this:

 

"Does this outfit make me look fat?"

How many of you wanted to truthly answer that question?

I guess that explains why we broke up. She obviously took my advice and found herself a mind reader.

Hahaha, Joe I know exactly where you're coming from with this. I went trough the same crap until I learned once and for all - it's better not to listen them at all and do whatever you thing you should than not reading between lines....

It's a cruel world out there

I lost 4 people that I really love in last 12 months - 3 by death and 1 (my gf) by leaving me for somebody else. It is not fun at all...

I'm sorry, but I'm really not interested in hearing anymore of the "Looks don't matter" stuff either. It's more than obvious in real life that they do, and no amount of E-talk is going to change my mind. I just want to know there are others out there that feels like me in hopes it will relieve my depression and ward off suicidal thoughts.

Hi James,

I will not BS'ing you that looks do not matter because it would be insulting to your brain. I mean, I'm the one that looks awful too; I too was laughed at in school and even in my family. My face is just terrible. So now you know where I stand in this, to some serious truth:

1) Most of the girls will never give you a chance because of your looks

2) Even if you have something more hidden behind bad looks again, most of the girls will never give you a chance to show it.

I know this all because I'm going through it all my life and it's not amusing at all.

3) Most probably the girl you would want to have will never give you a chance

You'll have to put 10x more effort than most other guys to get what you want and that is ok in the end. You will appreciate it more when you get it. Maybe that is a difference you get from it. Guys that get girls easy, most of the time don't appreciate it enough because they know there is a lot of other girl they could get if they want to.

Where am I going with all this?

I actually had a first girlfriend when I was 23 or so....it lasted until 8 months ago (I'm 28 now), so it's never too late.

Most probably you can't change how you look and even if you can, is it really worth it? I'm not a big advice giver or anything but there is some song that says "Just be there, just live, stand in the light and the end of darkness will come…". And that is my personal truth I live by. Just be there…

And meanwhile, the other guy you like keeps showing signs that he may like you back but never asks you out, and then you flirt your butt off to encourage them, but they dont do anything either because the're too shy or not really interested or whatever the reason....

QUOTE]

 

Just ask that guy out - life is too short to play stupid games.

 

Okie

Valentines day is reminding so much of the love I used to have for my ex. Now, I feel miserable. I want to contact her and just talk to her, but after 8 months of NC I don't want to concede to her.

 

I don't know why, but after so long, I miss her. It's so painful. And learning that she's living with her current finance is not helping me(I didn't find out myself. My 'best friend' told me arbitrarily.)QUOTE]

 

Hi Redmage22,

 

your story is so similar to mine that I thought I posted it before under other ID and than forgot about it .

 

I think I won't do anything on Valentines day - absolutely nothing - I will be at work - go swimming after and at the evening having a few drinks (normally I don't drink almost never).

 

Okie

To OP from my experience:

1) There was a girl I had interest in (more than friends) but we kept as friends - one day I told her what I feel and she withdrawn away. Never actually hang out with her after that

2) I was a friend with a girl for 1,5 years. We never had any "more than friends" ideas but chemistry was there, we just didn't act on it. After 1,5 years....things just went "relationship" way out of the blue. We were together for 3,5 years and I asked to marry me.

3) I am a friend with a girl I don't really like beyond friendship. She felt the same. At one point in time she changed her feelings and told me that. We're just friends and we both agreed that it is the best thing to stay just friends (not that I think being "just friend" is a bad thing. Not at all)

4) A friend of a friend(3) - I don't really know if we are friends or what. Chemistry is there, we always flirt when we see eachother or over the phone. I'm always first to her if she has to choose between two people to meet for coffee. I told her that I like her more than a friend. She told me that she is very scared because she was burnt before (that is the truth) so we are still at flirting phase and we enjoy to talk and meet for coffee,theather,....

It does not mean that if you are a friend with a woman that it can't grow to something more. But, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO. There is no rule it should. If you can't be just friend with a girl, then it is your problem. I have some female friends that would not be interesting in more than friends ever...

Do you think she still thinks about me from time to time? and is getting in contact a good idea??

No to both questions...sorry but that is most likely the case.

But why does it have to start as repulsion?

 

I don't know if it has to start with repulsion but I really like your way. (I'm not handsome and that is why I like it)

That quote was originally from George Herbert in the 16th century.

He must've told Ivana that as a child.

Oh come on Dako, she is old but not *that* old

When a woman ends a relationship - in her mind it ended a long before the point when you become aware of it. She stopped loving you long before, she just didn't tell you. It's the way things work.

I don't believe in faith - that would mean I can't control my own life.