I have had a problem with self discipline for the past 20+ years. I cannot hold a job due to numerous absenses. I know this sounds awful but I am going to be totally honest because I want some advice on how to fix this. I have certain days that I just don't want to get out of bed and then there are days that even if I get out of bed and shower I still don't want to go to work so I will simply call in sick. This has cost me several jobs and some were very promising jobs that I actually enjoyed. I have told myself several times that I have to stop doing this, obviously knowing that I will suffer the consequences. But I never seem to get a grip on it. Even when I have been warned about my attendance, I promise myself that I will stop because I don't want to lose this job, then I end up calling in sick again. It's like I am a different person when I'm convincing myself "just this last time". Eventually, I am fired of course. Then I get depressed and wish I would've done things differently. I simply can't seem to discipline myself into stopping this destructive behavior. It doesn't matter how serious I get about ending this, I still end up doing it again. It's like being a drug addict without the actual drug. I know it's destructive and I am only going to hurt myself but can't seem to help myself. There is not even any perks when I do this. When I stay home from work, I end up feeling guilty and miserable. I want so bad to be that person that goes to work everyday and only miss work if I am actually SICK. I have gone over this in my head over and over and don't know what to do. I don't think I am depressed and I'm not lazy, when I am at work I give it 110%. I have always gotten compliments from my employers that I am good at what I do, I am a hard worker and considered a team player. There's just the attendance factor. Please help me and please, serious replies only. I am on here because I want to change this, I am ashamed of it and know that it's wrong.
