It's my first time posting here - I am the 'other woman' and not proud of it, but I just needed to vent out as I can't talk to anyone about it and am hoping to get some help to get through this difficult phase.
It's been 5 months since I've started seeing this guy who's been married for 5 years and has a beautiful 15 month old daughter who he absolutely adores. I started working indirectly for him about 3 months ago and that's going very well as we've both managed to completely separate our work and personal relationship.
He was in a very unhappy place when we met - he'd been talking to lawyers about divorce procedures and custody for the daughter, which is what matters to him most but given his situation he is unlikely to get it. We are all expats from different countries living in a 3rd country and if they separate now she is likely to go back to her home country with the daughter which would make it very difficult for him to see her which he would not be able to bear. However, he reckons that if they separate once they get back to his home country, which they're due to next summer, she's likely to stay on and agree on joint custody as she has family and friends there.
He has made it clear that he does love his wife and always will, but he is in love with me and that he ultimately wants to end up with me. We are very much in love - we both know that we are right for each other and it's almost a perfect relationship; obviously other than the marriage factor.
I had made a conscious decision to stick to the relationship and give it my best as I've never been so sure that I want something as much as I do for him. It always has been more of an emotional relationship than physical, but as time goes by it is only getting stronger and harder for me to deal with, and my determination to follow through is being shaked for the first time.
The weekends have always been difficult for me, which he knows, as he hardly contacts me. This week has been even worse as he is on a weeks' leave and is at home spending time with his daughter, and he has hardly been in touch. I've been left wishing that I was the one spending quality time as a family with him. I wonder if he thinks about me. I wonder if he really did feel the way he says he does he would be contacting me more (didn't hear a single beep out of him for 4 days). I wonder if he will really split. And my biggest wonder; how much more of this loneliness and pondering around in circles without any conclusion can I take? It's almost come to a point that the anxiety is taking over the happiness. I don't want to push him nor do I want to let go but I feel as though I am so emotionally worn out especially after this week I don't know how to take it from here.
Would appreciate any pointers, feedback etc. Thanks for reading...
