bigbird11

Thanks for everyones comments and thanks for spending the time replying to my story. My problem has been solved... HE DUMPED ME! He came round today and he told me that he was only staying for a few hours and that he was going round his mates house. I was a bit upset because I havent seen him hardly for 3 days and I thought today he would spend some time with me. We went for a long walk and had a long chat (2 and a half hours) and he said that I wanted to see too much of him and he thought that because he wouldnt spend much time with me, it would cause us to argue. He said it was best to end it before things got that far. He has only had 1 serious relationship which ended 2 years ago and he said he couldnt get use to being in another relationship. He also said that he couldnt get use to the fact that I have kids (even though he knew this before he met me) When he did this, I was upset, he was trying to be nice but that only made it worse for me. He said he wanted to carry on seeing me but only on a friends basis but I said I didnt want this as my feelings for him were more than just friends. When we got back to mine, he collected his keys and left as if he couldnt wait to get out of the door (which made me more upset). At the moment all I feel is I've been used. Do you think I should be friends with him? or just completely cut ties with him?

Thanks for your comments. I know 8 days is early but I am not expecting anything from him i.e looking after my kids etc thats my job. All I am asking from him is some of his time but he doesnt seem to be able to give it to me. I know maybe I am rushing things and he is young but its hard to find any man who would be interested in me as I already have children. Good joke haha. I am the sort of person who rushes into things (which I know is wrong). I guess I am rushing into things as I split with my ex for 5 months after a 5 year relationship and I guess I am loney and looking for companionship that I am lacking in my life. He was laid off and while he had that job he also did voluntary work at an handicap center.

I was looking for a relationship and when he replied he was looking for friendship/maybe more and after we met it was his idea to start the relationship. I know its only been 8 days but I feel like ive known him a lot longer.

His last job was 2 months ago but he is currently looking for another job. I saw him last night and he left his wallet here by mistake. He knew I was going to the shopping mall the next day and he rung me asking me to meet him there. I thought he would want to spend some time with me but instead he just wanted his wallet. He was dressed all smart and he was off to the coast with his brother so thats another day I wont see him. It seems as if he is spending less and less time with me and I dotn know how much longer I can do this, I thought at the start of a relationship is when you spend the most time together. He is always telling me he wants to have fun but why doesnt he want to have fun with me? Ive told him some of the things Ive mentioned here and up to now he has not replied.

I understand what you are saying but to be honest you've answered the question yourself. As he is young you can not say how he will be when he is older. I know I am not the same person now as I was when I was 18. Most young men his age think about sport anyway and if you dont enjoy your sex life with him and you think he is boring then you should think of something to spice things up. As we get older and we mature with age, so will your sex life. When I was your age, I was married and looking back on it, my sex life was boring. You are clearly not happy with him so you've only one choice.to end it,and as you're both young you will both be able to find new partners,.....and to be honest with you,id rather have a dependable guy any day......good luck.

I would give anything to have a wonderful guy (like your guy seems to be) in my life. When I was your age (i'm 41) things like you have mentioned seem to matter a lot but as ive gotten older ive learnt that these things do not matter at all. I have had a few serious relationships where the men did NOTHING for me. It was the other way around, I did everything for them. So to have a man like that at your young age I would feel very lucky at any age. He may seem boring to your friends and even you but as you get older you may learn like I did that having a man that is dependable and realible is a very important quality in a man. I would give anything to have a man like that in my life now. As for your comment about his his private parts and his high pitch voice to me would not be important but if it bothers you and you are looking for all his faults then maybe he isnt the man for you. (only you can decide) As your young these things may seem important at this time but believe me when you get older these things will be less important to you and if you're like me the only things that are important is having a nice dependable and realiable man and believe me from my experience, that is a rare quality.

he has his own flat,he lives alone,i went there on tuesday Thanks for the welcome and the reply. I have thought about telling him but I am not sure how to and I am worried that if I do tell him, he would think I am being stupid. I am sure he does like me but I dont understand why he doesnt want to spend as much time with me as I do with him. I know we cant be in each others pockets but at the beginning of a relationship I thought that was when people spend the most time together. I know its only been 8 days but there is nothing stopping him and I thought he would want to spend as much time with me as he could before he gets a job. Maybe I am being silly?

I am a 41year old single mum with 4 children. I split with my last ex 5 months ago. I joined a cellphone/mobile chat room line after the split looking for a new relationship. I have spoken to many nice men and 8 days ago I had a younger man (33) from my town text me seeking friendship or maybe more. I replied and after seeing my picture, he phoned me and we arrange to meet that evening. We met and we had a chat and we seem to get on ok. After he left he text me and said he liked me, I also said I liked him. The following evening he rung me and asked me if I wanted to start a relationship with him. As I liked him, I agreed. He told me he didnt have much to offer me but he had a lot of love to give (which is the only thing I'm looking for anyway) We have seen each other everyday since and I think he likes me but by his actions I am not sure because he is acting in what I call a strange manner. A few examples are... - When I am with him, he is like telling me in advance different things i.e "I got to go back to my flat to clean the bathroom" (even though after everyday saying this he still hasnt cleaned it) He is telling me "I got to make an appointment with the doctor" (even though he never does). To me it seems he is making excuses for not spending much time with me (espiecially during the day even though he doesnt have a job). I cant understand as he has no job and no ties why he has to make these excuses. He is like planning in advance why he cant spend time with me. I can honestly say I dont think he is cheating on me or there is any other women involved. - Yesterday he planned to come to mine today between 2-3pm but this morning he rung me and said he is seeing an old school friend and he wouldnt come to mine until 5pm. When he arrived I had his food ready which he ate and then he laid on the sofa (basically ignoring me) and then he fell alseep for 2 hours by which time I gone upstairs annoyed. I hadnt seen him since 9am the day before. He has stayed at mine but even though he has no reason to go back to his flat early and he has no plans for the day, he still leaves my house very early. I think this is odd for someone who says they want to be with me. Do you think I am overeacting? I feel like as he comes to my house to eat that I am just there for company and I feel like I am being used. Do I end it now before I get too involed or should i carry on seeing him in hope it would get better?