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we are all 19 and we live in the same city in canada.

I dated this guy for 10 monthes and we fell deeply (or what I thought to be deeply) in love. I had never felt this strongly about anyone before and just everything about him was perfect for me. We just connected. Everything in our relationship was fine until a few things started to interfere in our relationship. The first one was his ex gf. They had dated for 3 years and still remained friends. I didn't like her and neither did many of his friends and he still continued to see her and hang out with her, even when he was dating me. This really bothered me because he said when he was with her he told her he loved her and she was the one that broke it off with him. He assured me that nothing would ever go on between them, but I am a firm believer that someone you were involved with romantically, especially for such a long time you can't be friends. There is too much history. And she also treated him like * * * *, and the list goes on... Anyways the second thing that kept coming in between us was his job. He was a paramedic so he spent a lot of time out of town and worked most weekends. I could have reacted better but I loved him and I missed him when he was away and I was just really frustrated with the situation. Then finally around the 7th month we had been together his mom announced to him that his family was moving back to ontario. After that things were increasingly difficult. He started acting weird and after I while I could tell something was up. It eventually came down to him saying he wasn't sure that he felt the same about me anymore and he didn't want a relationship. It really hurt but for a while I thought we just needed a break so we talked and decided to go on a break. About a month after that he told me that he didn't want this anymore, etc. Then I found out later that he was moving out and he had found a room mate he neglected to tell me about. His ex gf. He again claimed it wasn't to he could be with her but it was because they were friends and he couldn't pay rent on his own. I was wondering if anyone was ever had someone they loved pull away from them because they could cope with a relationship? If so did they ever come back and what happened. I still really love my ex but he knows that and I hope he can realize that he loves me too if all this * * * * is ever settled out. Any advice or similar stories out there? If soo plllllzz help. I am willing to listen to anyone at this point because I am so confused and frustrated. Thanks

I have gone through almost the exact situation with someone I love. He got too stressed out and couldn't deal with a relationship. We agreed to be "on a break" and remained friends with benefits. It still fell apart and he told me that he just couldn't deal with the relationship. It's hard to accept but in all of this take care of yourself first, doing that doesn't mean you love her any less. In my experience I found myself always trying to put him first because I loved him and it sounds like you are being really selfless right now, but right now you both need to worry about yourselves and that you are ok. I agree with the other posts. Just remaining friends will probably lower your chances of rekindling something was there, because it is still a relationship and it will still stress her out. I will just get increasingly frustrating for both of you to work backwards like that because you will want more than what you are given, or can give, and it will just be damaging to any future relationship you will have together. I know this from experience, except I feel like I pushed my ex too far and now he is convinced that there will never be able to be anything between us ever again. Don't make the same mistake I did. I know it will be hard but you should probably consider removing yourself from the situation for a little while and cutting contact, just make sure she knows you love her and you will be there for her if she needs you. So back off and give it some space. If you love each other the way you say you do you will find each other when the time is right. Good luck.

thank you for all who have responded it helps to know that people do care, I just am so frustrated more than anything because I felt like if none of these things ( like his job and his family moving) hadn't interfered we would still be happy and together. I know it might be being a bit unrealistic but I really felt like our feelings were mutual and genuine and maybe if he can just get settled in his life again he might see that, but sadly that won't be for a very long time even if it does happen. Any more responses and opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Ok so I thought I met the love of my life. I have dated before but never had I had a connection with anyone like this before. He was everything I was looking for. He had the right body type, the right personality, the right looks the right everything. He was perfect for me. I didn't think so at first but we had met at a party and when he called me we talked for 3 hours and it was like he was taking the words right out of my mouth. I really was all history from there. By 2 monthes he told me he loved me and I already had had an idea that I loved him within the first week of talking to him. We dated for a while and we slept together after about 5 and a half monthes, which was a big deal considering we were both virgins and because we loved each other I thought it was ok even though it was sooner than I had imagined. We dated for a while longer and then things started happening to interfere. First of all it was his job. He wanted to be a paramedic resulting in him having to work out of town and being away for several nights a week. I would get upset every time he would go away. I loved him and I wanted him there, but I knew he needed the money so I let him go and work. Then later even his mom told him that his family was moving back to ontario. From there things seemed to go down hill. We would hang out but he really wouldn't be there(mentally). He started turning me down sexually. I thought it was because he we shared different beliefs for a while but later I found out it was because he wasn't sure about how he felt any more. By about 10 monthes things really had fallen apart. He told me he didnt' feel the same way anymore. I felt like it was coming out of nothing but looking back I can see the signs. I tried so hard to fight for what I thought was right. I told him that I loved him and eventually I convinced him to go on a "break" with me. Meaning that we would date again but it was up to him to instigate it. It went well for a while and we remained friends with benefits. I had even mentioned that the only reason that was occurring was because I knew there was a promise of a relationship later. As things turned out we talked on the phone and he said we had to "talk". He told me that he didn't want this anymore and he didn't want a relationship right now. I had expected it but it still really hurt because I really thought he was the one and he now had turned his back on me. Then, two days later I found out that he was moving out with his ex. I had always had really negitive feelings towards her. He told me that it wasn't because he wanted to get back with her, but it was becaue he had no other choice. I am now at the point where I am no longer angry at him because he didn't tell me. I feel like he didn't tell me cause he didn't want to hurt me more than he already did. But I had to find out from my best friend. At least she had the balls to tell me. I am slowly getting over it and it has been about 2 monthes since all this has gone down. I miss him terribly and more recently I have cried myself to sleep over this. He is convinced that this is it, but I didn't think that I could ever feel this strong about anyone. He had even told me once that he loved me more than I would ever know. I just can't believe that type of love would disappear. I tried to forget about him, but it is not working. I still love him more than anything and my feelings for him haven't changed. I know I am stupid for wanting him back but I feel like we weren't given a fair chance. I just want some words of inspiration from someone. I am sorry this is a little long but I wish someone would read this and tell me what they think and see if they think that he will ever change his mind. I feel like fate drew us together and he really was meant to be with me. I just don't know anymore and it hurts to think that I will have to move on without him because I truly believed he was the love of my life as well as my first love. We have been keeping in contact by email, other than that it has been limited. I just wish someone would give me some advice or some inspirational words because for a while I thought it was getting better but I still love him as much as I did before and I just can't seem to let go no matter what I do. I just wish that he could love me again. A part of me thinks he will come around but another (common sense) thinks he wont. It's really all I want at this point because it just hurts all the time without him. So please if anyone can offer advice on how to work on getting him back, or accepting it, or doing something to stop the hurt I would greatly appreciate it. I just don't know what to do anymore because it hurts and all I want is him. Sorry this is a little long. Any advice is welcome. Thank you.