DMRB

We haven't really talked about the situation. I guess that's what we should do. I just don't want her to be mad at me for telling her what i think (i don't like fighting). And Scout, i guess it's a matter of opinion and maybe what i said was offensive, but honestly I didn't really think about it when I said it because we always joke and talk to eachother like that...She even laughed, then when we left she wouldn't talk to me. So I don't know. It seems like we get along fine, but she's just REALLY sensitive, I guess.

My best friend really upsets me sometimes. We've known eachother since we were like 5. She is so worried about what other people think. She's always concerned about how she looks and her reputation. She's "average". She's not overweight, but she could lose weight and look better and be healthier. But at the same time she'll tell me what I should be doing to lose weight because she says i would look a lot better if lost weight. Now to me that's insulting, but at the same time she seems to have good intentions. Its really hard to explain. She says that she just thinks that people should always try to be better and she can't understand how I can be happy with myself the way I am. The other thing is, i'll say an inappropriate joke or something (that normally she would laugh at, but not crude or anything, just something that others could possibly take offense to) and if theres people around it doesn't matter how quiet i try to be, she gets so angry at me because "someone could've heard me". One time, we went to go get pizza and i thought she was paying but, she said all she had was a card and not cash, so I paid (she would pay me back) and i made a comment, like 'what a bum!' (in an obvious joking-tone of voice) in front of the cashier (i have a habit of calling people names, like bum, hobo, geek, etc.) She got so upset she ignored me for two days. Now she'll turn around and make jokes all the time but I'M always too loud, and she's not. I just want to understand why she seems to be so concerned with what other people think - even people she's never met!

He is a smart guy - not an alcoholic, just really down - not to stick up for him or anything. I would never be with an alcoholic!! Never. I can understand how hard things are for him, I'm just wondering about his conversations and if any of it might have been some emotional releases since he never expresses any kind of intense emotions like last night. ...I didn't mean to make it sound like he's an alcoholic, he's been drunk maybe 3 or 4 times in the whole year that we've been together. ...and it doesn't take much to get him drunk, he drank a bottle of wine last night that was it.

I've been reading on this site for awhile now, and am finally ready to post my relationship issues in hopes of receiving some good advice. Me and my boyfriend have a good relationship. We have a lot in common, but our main difference that causes us to fight sometimes is that I'm very optimistic, and he is very pessimistic. I'm 20 years old, i have a good office job with regular dayshift hours and make decent money, more than my boyfriend...He works at a job he hates, they treat him unfairly, he has random hours that are mostly evenings, and he is trying to get his degree, but can't stay focused since he is so broke and needed to take on more hours at work, so he now has dropped out of school (again) and is going back in the fall. (He is 25 years old) He really is a smart, talented, and responsible guy, but there is NO telling him that, he gets very upset and tells me that I just say that because I'm his girlfriend. That's just one example of how negative he is. The problem herein lies with what happened last night. He got drunk before I went to his house. He's been drinking a lot lately since he hates his job so much. He first started talking about how we're so different and he doesn't think he could ever live with me (we live about 45 mins from eachother with our parents) and that he really cares about me but doesn't like to say 'i love you' because it loses meaning (yet he says it every time we hang up the phone and when we're going home) and of course this upset me. I didn't take it too seriously though, knowing he was drunk. Later on we were having sex, and out of nowhere (while we're doing it) he says, "i think we should move in together"...Soo confusing. So we stopped and talked and he had all these ideas about how he screwed up his life the past couple of months and all these other negative things and he even cried. Then he starts talking about the 'i love you' thing again and me being dependent on him - which i was b/c it was hard for me when he moved back to his parents and we can now only see eachother once a week - but i told him i was working on it. And again i was upset, but i knew he was drunk... ...and again we start having sex...and he starts talking AGAIN - and telling me he loves me and asking me to never leave him, and he needs me and he can't move out on his own without me (not only financially, but he said he needs me there for support and motivation...) So we stop and talk again. This happened like 5 times last night. I know he was drunk, but I just don't know what to make of it all. This is a bottled-up guy that I can't ever get to open up, and now he throws all this stuff at me at once. I love this guy so much and I know he loves me. He's been having a rough time with figuring out his life - He's going through that quarter-life crisis. I mean, i've learned that when he's drunk, he tries to make all kinds of important decisions and won't calm down until he figures things out. So I know I shouldn't take this too seriously, because even though I called him an hour ago and told him to call me tonight and talk about everything, I know he probably won't want to talk at all...But should I be thinking about anything that he said when he was drunk? The whole insinuating that we don't have a future together - then saying he needs me and wants to live together - or him saying he cares about me but doesn't understand love then turns around and tells me he loves me???