punkyfairy787

Yeah I know that quitting smoking is difficult. I just did not like him lying about it is all but I figured I can't really make him quit so I said it was ok. I just basically said that as an example of one of the many things I just let go of really its not that big a deal. The main focus of this whole thing is him trying to figure out his sexuality it is so hard to just sit here and wait becuase I basically don't know how to feel. Anyways thanks for the reply keep them coming everyone I really appreciate it!

Ok man where do I start? Ok so my bf and me have been together for a year now, I was his first gf and he my first bf. He is bi or at least that's what he started out as. I never considered myself a jealous person until I learned that he liked to role-play with people. I didn't care till I read a few post and found them to be quite naughty. I was extremely upset but I let it go because I loved him and I figured I shouldn't be jealous cause it's not like anything was really going on. The problem is I notice that I let a lot of things go, I hate smokers so when I tried to get him to quit he said he'd try and then later confess that he had 'cheated' and had a cigarette or two that week, so I said screw it and said it was ok to smoke so at least he's not lying. There was more things that I just 'let go' basically it seemed like every time I got upset eventually I would give in and let it go. I felt like I was changing myself and who I was to be with him, which is not good. I tried to once again find myself and go back to my original self while still being adaptive to the relationship. The jealousy issue has come up a few times because he talks to guys and I know he would never cheat on me but I was still jealous especially when I found out that these guys were being flirty, my bf thought it was cute and told me that he wasn't doing anything to provoke or encourage this behavior. (I believe him) I tried working on my jealousy I knew I was jealous because I was insecure I was afraid he would leave me for someone else. I tried to work on my confidence and tried to not care about these silly boys with their silly crushes but every time my bf would bring it up I would fall to pieces and felt very insecure. It was difficult but I made an effort to change my self confidence and to be my original self and I started to see little changes and I knew I was changing for the better everything felt like it was gonna be ok. (Or so I thought) Earlier I said that it started out with my bf claiming bi as his sexuality well for the past 6 months of our relationship he has been thinking about that. He thinks that he may just be gay and not bi. I am his first gf and the first girl he has EVER been attracted to so now it has been brought up (it has before but not like this) that he is not sure if he is attracted to me physically anymore. I am very hurt I always knew he leaned more toward guys since I was his first girl experience for everything. I just never thought it would end up like this. Now I wait for his decision he is basically soul searching and has been for a while. He is deciding how he feels and will let me know within a week if he wants to stay with me or if he really is just gay. He tells me that it is not me and that its him and I know and not trying to sound conceited but I know that I am pretty and attractive. He says he is attracted to my mind and that he loves me very much. He is just not sure if girls are really for him. The worst part is the waiting whatever decision he makes I will be happy for him all I want for him is to be happy whether it's with me or not. This is really hard and I could use some advice, support, empathy anything would be great. Thanks