JazzyGirl

Ok, this is a bit of a long story. First off, I'm 25 years old and have never had a boyfriend. I sort of dated one guy, but that's it. I'm also a virgin and have always thought I will wait till marraige (and I'm really, really trying to stick to that). Ok, now the guy! He's 32 years old. We've known each other for about 3-4years. When we first met we were really good friends... practically inseparable. Then I became attracted to him. I told him, but we stayed friends. However, not long after that (again, this was back when we'd only known each other a few months) we fooled around but he wouldn't kiss me (probably b/c it's intimate or something). Anyways, I was confused and he got distant since he didn't want a girlfriend. Then we talked about it and we were okay. Then we fooled around again. We got into a big fight and stopped talking. It was difficult for me because I adored him - I was in love with him. After a few months I tried to apologize and talk to him again, but it wasn't working. We just sort of went our own paths and occasionally hung out in groups. In 2004 I got sick and went to a hospital. After I came out, I called him and we talked for several hours, and I thought all was well. I was able to apologize for everything that happened between us. (I was a bit mean to him... as he was to me). We were kind of friends, and getting it all back. He even stayed up with me for half the night to help me with a major mid-term paper that I had due. Then on New Year's Eve (going into 2005), we both were at the same party, and we fooled around again (still no kissing). I was a bit drunk and he was probably buzzed. It screwed up everything because he didn't want to have a girlfriend and I became very confused. We didn't talk for a long time (in fact until recently). I called him out of the blue just after his birthday (Halloween), and we talked for 2 hours. Then we talked again about 2 more times. Here's the major point: On Saturday night I went out with my girlfriends, and we were going to have a sleepover - just a regular girls' night. We went clubbing, partied, etc... I got annoyed with one of the girls and one of the guys we were with, and I needed a break. I had to find a place to stay for the night and I couldn't go home (I live with my very strict mother). I called the guy and told him everything about how awful the night was. I asked if I could stay at his house for the night, and he said of course. I went over and we ended up fooling around (again), but this time he kissed me. We were making out and stuff (no sex of any kind) but I let him "use his hands" (in order to be discrete about what I mean, lol) which I had never done before (he knows that). Anyways, this was about 6am... technically Sunday morning. We fooled around for about 2 1/2-3 hours or something. We cuddled, kissed, hugged, touched, etc... We talked throughout the morning as well, and it seemed all went well. He even walked me to his car and kissed me goodbye and said he'd call. Anyways, he has not called me or anything since Sunday morning. I text messaged him Sunday evening (I was on the highway and passing by his exit), and he text me back, but that's it. What should I think? I really care about him, and I think I'm still in love with him. We just have a strong connection to each other. I miss him, but I don't want to be too eager or scare him off like I have in the past. I just don't know what to do. Any advice as to why he might not have called me yet? Do guys play games like this often? What do I do? I have little to no experience with men so I'm at a loss! Please, please, please help!!! Thank you! Also, if there's anything I've left out or you need to know, etc... go ahead and ask - I'm not all that shy P.S. - Sorry it's so long. I promise that it's basically the shorter version of the entire story

I want to thank all of you for such great advice! It really helps to know that I'm not alone, and that I will eventually be able to orgasm. As for the guy, I'm very comfortable with him. He and I were cuddling and he was holding me and I remember feeling so incredibly safe. It was an amazing feeling. As for the fingering, I was thinking maybe it hurt because he's got thick fingers (if that makes sense, lol). I do feel comfortable talking to him (even when we were hot and heavy) I remember that there were times when I told him he was in the right spot, but I still couldn't cum. I do feel kind of bad cause he was trying his best to send me over the edge, and I didn't go over. I'm nervous about the masturbation part because I know nothing at all about it, and I always thought it was "dirty" or "digusting" to do (especially for girls) - I don't know why, but it's sort of embedded in my mind like that. Hopefully he will call me soon (he hasn't yet), and maybe we can experiment together. I would love to have an orgasm with him. I guess next time I feel like I just can't take it anymore (when he's rubbing me) I should tell him to be more gentle? I didn't think he was being rough, but I don't know cause he's the first guy to touch me like that. Also, do you all have any advice on how to tell him that he could kiss better? I know it sounds silly, but for me, I prefer longer kisses (and kissing is important to me). His kisses are sort of short and he kind of shoots his tongue in and out. It's really hard to put into words. I just am not sure how to say something without being offensive or hurting his feelings or insulting him (or his ego)... Thanks!!!

It's great to know that there's someone like me out there! I never had a boyfriend and things with this guy are complicated and generally undefined. I really hope I would know if I had an orgasm... I guess I didn't We have not had sex at this point... even though I'm 25, I don't think I'm ready. I think I'd have too much guilt at this point. He wants to though (he doesn't pressure me at all). I wasn't really raised religious as I was raised traditional and somewhat prudish... I'm religious from my beliefs. I guess I figured I should wait till I'm married, but my horomones or whatever are working on so much overdrive that I experience lots and lots of sexual frustration! Is an orgasm equivalent to cumming? I just wonder why I couldn't cum. I wanted to and I was enjoying it, but still it didn't happen... I was completley into what we were doing - all the massaging and fingering... it was great. I totally thought I would cum, but I couldn't for some reason. He tried so hard to do it. I think the part he was massaging was my clitoris. It felt very good so I'm guessing that's what it was. I just wish I could figure more of this out and how to cum when we're fooling around like that. Is that difficult for most women... to cum with the guy massaging/fingering?

Ok, I'm 25 years old female (just had a birthday), and I am a virgin - as in no intercourse and no oral. There's a guy in my life but we're not a couple. We are very attracted to each other and very, very connected - it's hard to explain, but we click. We've know each other for about 3-4 years. Anyways, I want to start off saying that I don't know a whole lot about sex or masturbation, etc... It's kind of a taboo topic in my house - it's not talked about at all. I think of masturbation as gross so I can't even do it. I tried once, but I couldn't go through with it. (I know that's a different issue). My sexual frustration levels have been skyrocketing lately. I consider myself religious and always planned to wait till marriage, but it's getting harder. Anyways, back to the guy. I slept over his house last night (no sex though). We were making out, and things were getting hot and heavy. I let him massage me and finger me. I was very wet, but I don't think I ever came. He kept saying he wanted to make me cum, but I don't understand why I couldn't. What he was doing felt good for the most part... it hurt a little bit though - I'd never done anything like that before. There were points where he was massaging and fingering me and I had to make him stop because I felt like I just couldn't take it anymore... like it was too much for me. That's another thing I don't understand since it felt good. How do I know if I had an orgasm? How do I know if I came? I'm kind of clueless... I know it's odd for someone my age. If I didn't cum is there some way to understand why or help the process along so that if we fool around again I can cum or orgasm. I don't want him to feel bad. I do know there were times where his massaging/fingering hurt - is that normal or was he being too rough without knowing it? Did his fingering kind of hurt because I'm a virgin or something? Any help would be fabulous! Oh, I don't know if it matters but he's 32 and pretty experienced. Thank you (in advanced)