billuser

LOL. OK, I just read what I wrote, I think that the last sentence does not make sense (sorry for my bad english), I meant that if one is a looser in girls, you know, never had a gf, stil a virgin etc... then, this person is considered from everyone to be a looser in every other aspect of life. That's is

OK, I am very ugly but this is not to discuss now, my personality and confidence sucks, so, bad looks + not mental charismas + luck of confidence = * * * *, BUT, I never had such problems with my frineds, or with others, I know he thinks that way because he has very small eye pupils, when his eyes are upon some girls we have at work, his pupils are getting bigger (like mine I guess). But I don't want to be judged from men that way. I think he is feeling sorry for me and that way, I also feel sorry for mysel, you know, a looser in girls allmost everywhere is equal to looser in total. * * * *! I don't want more phsycological problems right now.. I had enough so far...

Hello. I know that this is not the correct topic, but I don't know where else to put it. introduction : So, here it goes, I am 27, fat, ugly, never had a gf, one more thing, I am not ubly because I am fat, I have a truly ugly face, I think that even if I get rid of some weight, then I will be even uglier. I am insecure and in general, I have many other phsycological problems. I know it is pathetic, but hey, that is life (PLEASE don't start with some advices that anyone can give like "lose some weight" or "have confidence" or anything like that). So, now, to the point. I got a new job 3 months ago. There is one man, he is responsible for our training (the new employers) in the company and he is a great person (I am not gay), I just like him, but when we are talking I see that he is looking at my face (his pupils are all over my face )and his eyes pupils are very very small. He is not gay too, I can surely tell that, but why a man is looking at me that way? I know that women unconsiosly judge men from their looks, for example, if a man is handsome, a woman will be friendlier to him (of course, this goes beyond only looks, but looks is the first stage), but I had no idea that some men also do that. I would hate to know that my trainer feels sorry about me or thinks that "hey, he is really ugly". What should I do? I know there are not many things I can do, but how can I change his mind about me? Thanks.

Oh, and please, I don't want to listen to any more of these : "You will find a g/f, you 'll see", I know a few people in their late 40s that never had a g/f before.

Hello. I am pretty much the same with the difference that I am 27. I know it is pathetic, but there is nothing I can do about that. My self esteem does not exist. Every time I look in the mirror (I try to avoid it) I say to myself : "look at you, you are ugly and you want a girlfriend?...", I am fat and ugly, that's why I never had one before. Anyway, women are attracted from those who have self confindence and are not ugly (every woman has her own ell about ugly men). I know that, I have nothing of these two. I think that every girl I meet thinks : "look at him, he is ugly!", and this is very bad, espesially when I meet a girl that I like. I have male friends, when I am with them it's OK, I know we are having good time and I know I am not boring or annoying but girls don't spend time with me, so no girl has ever rejected me because they think I am not good for company (maybe I am not, but they cannot know that if they have not spend some time with me, not even one date... never...), they are just rejecting me for my bad looks. There was this girl once, I met her from a friend of mine and we started to talk through the telephone, everyday for about 3 or 4 hours, every time we went out, my friend was also there, once I told her to go to a movie together and she said yes, but when she realized that my friend was not going to come, she cancelled it. Later my friend and she, bacame a couple. If you are still 22/23 I think there is time for you to find a g/f. but I think that if you get older, like my age, then it is going to be very difficult. So, try your best now. I am really sorry I will say this, I should not be happy if there are people that thinks the same way as I do (I know it is VERY depressing, I cry very often) but somehow I feel some consolation if I know that there are other people like me. It sounds egoistic, I know, but that's how I feel. oops... a tear fell... Good luck man. P.S. The most normal thing for the livings, is life, the continuation of it, so, the not continuation of life is not normal, is abnormal. If one is not able to act for the benefit of this "normal thing", e.g. multiplication, then, I think that he is abnormal. I know I am. I hope you will get out of it soon.

I don't have a problem with the way I look, I don't look in the mirror feeling sorry for myselft if that's what you mean. I know I could look better but I don't mind that. The problem is that girls don't like me. I just wish I could believe in god, then things would be easier. Thanks.

Well... I don't know what is a "nice guy". How can a girl finds out if I am a nice guy or not? I am allways polite, not only with girls but with everyone, I smile a lot, I help people every time I can, not because I want to be a good guy, but because I feel like it, and you know something, in my 27 years, it has never helped me finding a girl. As I said, I don't know if I am a nice guy, but if I am, then these girls are not looking for that. I think that babycristy456 is correct, if I want someone I must change in a way so that I can "sell" myself, so, if I am the same person inside, and by changing my looks helps me find a girl, then, as a result, only looks are importand, so, who cares if I am a nice guy or not? I just don't want to be alone anymore. Thanks for your answers.

Hello. First post. First of all, forgive me for my English. I am 27, never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl. I am fat and maybe this is the reason. I cannot loose weight, I tried it several times with no result. All these years I am not happy and I want to take this thing of my mind, I wish I could say that I don't need a girl but that is not true. All of my friends ware at least once involved in a relationship. The problem with me is this : when I don't have hope, I am OK. I don't really mind not having a girl, but if I see a girl that I think she shows interest in me, then I kind of fall in love (it is really easy for people like me to fall in love, if you need it, it is the easiest thing). But of course, these girls are simply nice, they are not interested in me, they are just nice with me, and this is the problem... Hope, you see, is a very bad thing, it can make you feel good, have nice thoughs about you and, why not, starting to fantasize that you just might get in a relationship with a girl (!!!)... If my level of happiness is in A all the time, then, by getting hope, it goes from A to B ( B > A ). This transition is fine, it is more than fine, it is GOOD, but when I realize that the girl does not like me, then I go back, from B to A, and this hurts... A LOT. You see, it is not the level that you are that counts, it is the fall... The falling edge ( from B to A ). There is this girl in my previous job, she is 23 and she is a super nice person, she was teasing me, squeezing my (big) belly and doing stuff like that. Once she said : "look at this face, look how cute he is" ( to another person ) and on my last day on my previous job she pinched my cheek and said : "oooohhh.. look at this faceeee... he is so sweet, like a pouf" (This big round pillow, again to another person). I TOTALLY LOST MY MIND... That day I didn't manage to write one simple line of code ( I am a programmer ). I was fantasizing that maybe I will see how good it will be to kiss a girl, hung out with one, see this smile on her face when she has a date with you, play with her hair and things like that. And then came the fall. She is doing these kind of stuff in all of my co-workers, I just didn't notice that before. And when I noticed, I experienced the fall... once again. Problem: I am in LOOOVEEE... I must get over it. Thanks and sorry if I made myself mortal.