gattsuga

yeah, if you want babies in the future, wear boxers.. briefs would suffocate my boys

no problem good luck!

legally i don't think there's anything you can do. I don't know about the states, but here in Canada, you are put on a 3 month probation.. and either you or the employer can terminate the job with no r epercussions. I dunno why they would lie to the temp agency though... maybe to skip out on some fees to the temp agency?

I would confront this kid and tell him to back off. Don't use violence unless he initiates something, but be bold and assertive. You may want to run this by your gf first so she doesn't misunderstand and freak out at you for being over protective.

yeah, i like that idea flower99.. and i dunno if i'll give her the duct tape lol... although i'd find it funny, she'd probably get super pissed. guess it's time for her wake up call

So his ex-gf is his 1st cousin? okay, putting aside that it's gross and disturbing... there's a lot of trust issues in this relationship. I'm actually surprised he wasn't furious that you checked his emails/cell messages... and that you continue to do so. I can see where you're coming from... if you didn't check his messages, then you may have never known about this situation. Now that you know, things have become quite volitile.

Do you trust your bf? Do you think he would cheat on you again with his 1st cousin, who is married btw... ? You know him better than I do. It isn't right to spy on his messages, and throw it in his face. But of course he is wrong for hiding things from you. Are you wanting to deal with this? Do you want to stay with him, even though he has secret messages with his ex?

how much are you willing to tolerate before calling it quits? If he can't respect you enough to end contact with his ex-gf, then I don't think you have much choice but to end things.. but that's only me. i would stand up to him, and tell him to stop any further messages with her if he respected you. If he doesn't, then he cares more about his ex-gf than you i'm afraid.

Ahhh my first love.. good memories. Yes they are kind of bittersweet sometimes when I think of how things ended, but today I look back at them and discover how much I've changed and grown up. She is still a part of my past, and since she is my 1st gf, I don't think she'll ever be erased from my memory. But we are in speaking terms today, and that's all I desire for our relationship. We are both happy in our own relationships, and there's no way we'd ever consider getting back together.

It's a part of my past, and to erase them... would be painful to me. what was the meaning of our relationship then? At least I learned something out of it, and I'm glad for that.

haha that's great. Just make sure you don't paint his house pink or put a bunch of stuffed animals everywhere

holy crap.. what a deadbeat! i'm sorry.. but that's the first thought that comes to mind. I'm not too sure of all the legalities of a divorce, but how come you have to pay for his lawyers too? That just sucks if you have to pay spousal support to him!! He's obviously angry at you, and wants to ruin your happiness with this other guy. Divorce is such an ugly thing.. i'm sorry you have to go through this!

In my opinion... I think your relationship is moving into a different level. It sounds like she's past the point where she needs to spend every moment with you. You had a life before her right? spend time with your friends which you've probably neglected since meeting her Do what you enjoy, and when you two talk to each other next, you'll have lots more to talk about

maybe you can find someone to finish up his house. he sounds like he has no time. find another job around his place? find a hobby? you're not gonna stay in the house all day unti he comes home are you?

haha awesome... manties eh? my girl would rip those up!

Yes, I believe two people of different sexes can be friends. but if they dated sometime in the past, then of course there will be feelings there. That doesn't mean they will act on it though. I'm friends with a lot of girls, does that mean i'm attracted to every one of them? no way... and it's not like i flirt or give out hints either.

if there's flirting going on, then yes that should be stopped.

Wow it sounds like her ex-bf really messed her up. I hate those guys who put down their gfs to control them.

Props to you for being supportive and encouraging. But it's obvious her feeling of being inadequate or not pretty is pretty deeply scarred in her mind. I'm sure plastic surgery won't help either... it's just a quick fix, but she'll eventually find something else wrong with herself. She definitely needs to seek a counselor. I've seen my friends like this who became anxorexic, and it is VERY unhealthy. She doesn't want to see a counselor because it's probably really scary and embarrassing for her. But yeah... i would say no to plastic surgery, and say she looks awesome the way she is. (plastic surgery in my opinion makes people look fake and gross)

i'm not sure how you can convince her to see a counsellor though... maybe just offer to go with her, and be supportive and encouraging... which i'm sure you are.

I use to be a really shy guy... and my first gf wasn't shy at all. She actually brought out the un-shy guy in me. He might need some reassurance sometimes, and he may feel anxious and try too hard sometimes... but i'm sure eventually he'll let you in on his crazy world. and trust me, if he's alone with you for a little while, he'll creep outta his shell

The first step is always the hardest. But you need to get out more, and go to social activities. Join a club or a sport team or some sort. but the best thing you can do is focus your energy on other things. And you need to regain your confidence. Confidence is very important when attracting the opposite sex. Do this gradually by approaching girls and just talking to them. I dunno why people think talking to the opposite sex is so difficult... just don't act like a creep and you'll be fine. It's a great feeling when you can make someone else smile while talking about whatever.

A chapter of your life is over, it's time to write a new one... and only you can make it into a better chapter than the last.

lol... i'd say boxers. if you have a small package, the other two would just emphasize that

Be strong, and read some of the experiences on this forum.. it's helped me through some difficult times. and i find just writing how you're thinking and feeling really helps sometimes.

just keep telling yourself you deserve better.

You two are grown adults... tell it to him straight. to me he still sounds unsure whether or not he wants to break it off or not. If he can't give you a reason, that's being really selfish. Then it's time to initiate NC... and yes it's going to be rough, but it's honestly the best thing you can do for yourself.

oh, and for him to be saying 'you can really take care of yourself' could just be a compliment from him... i wouldn't think too deeply about it

Wow. I'm sorry but this man obviously doesn't care very much of your feelings. How can you even trust him again since he's lied to you about staying at this ex-gf's house. So he goes to her house at night, and ends up just sleeping in her bed?? So this ex-gf just cordially invites this man into her bed after they haven't been dating for how many years?

I think you deserve way better! Someone who will treat you the way you deserve, who will push you outta the way to save your life. Don't you think you deserve someone who treats you like a queen, and doesn't sleep in the bed of his ex-gf when you two have an argument about HER?

lol... i've told her to shut up.. but she'd just laugh it off and tell me to grow up

Well, i think it's harmless if you ask her out for coffee. While she's cutting your hair, ask her about herself, and what she's interested in, if she's aspiring to be a hairdresser. Be confident in yourself... girls can tell right away if you are confident or not... and I'm a firm believer girls are attracted to confident guys.

Hopefully you'll have a good conversation while she cutting your hair, then at the end ask her out for coffee so you can continue your chat together. If she says no... then she's just not interested or she has a boyfriend.

smile, be friendly, be confident!

Absense makes the heart grow fonder... I dunno, maybe NC is too early for you. But if I were you, I'd call him and demand a good explaination. He sounds scared, and reluctant to commit. But the way you two ended the conversation sounded kind of like a weird way to end such a good relationship.

If you do decide to call him, don't cry or start begging him. Just ask for a good explaination of why you two are through and it won't work out.

in my opinion, NC is only good to heal yourself after a breakup (meaning you don't expect him to come back). But I think you deserve a good explaination of why he suddenly cut you off from his life. And if he refuses to give that to you, then procede to NC.

Let's see... well I've known this girl for over 5 years, and we're only friends (She's about 10 years older than me). My problem is she can be a good friend at times, BUT most of the time she is very controlling and such a drama queen. I don't know if I can deal with her anymore. So we are leading a youth group at our church, and she is the 'head honcho' you could say. She is so controlling it's getting really difficult to work with her. If I dont' listen to EXACTLY what she tells me to do, she gets very upset and tries to guilt me by saying things like "I'm very disappointed in you.", or "It just breaks my heart... blah blah blah"

Now I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I cannot work with this friend anymore. I told her I don't read the meeting minutes, and she says "It just breaks my heart"... I tell her, "you know XXXX, me not reading minutes doesn't break your heart".. and she says, "Yes it does" and walks away. GAhhhh!!!!

So how do I deal with this person? I don't want to make enemies of her, cuz she has been a good friend in the past. It's just if I don't agree with something, or contribute my own ideas/views, she gets all worked up and argues t'ill our voices are hoarse. I've tried reasoning with her, no luck, i've tried talking to her in a calm, gentle manner... she doesn't get it.

I don't want to abandon my youth group, cuz I do like the work I do for the kids, but I just can't handle dealing with XXXX cuz it's driving me innnsaaannneeee!

I'd appreciate some ideas/tips on how to approach her... Thanks

I'm still in a rut... here's her side of the story.

"Put yourself in his shoes. If you liked a girl and took the time and effort to find something for her that she might like, wouldn't you be devasted to find out that she just gave it away like it didn't matter at all or didn't mean anything at all. I appreciate these things because it shows me that he's my friend and he listens.

What if I ended up with him? What if?? What if he wanted me to throw away your necklace??

I will put these things out of my life. But I REFUSE to throw it in the trash.

Don't you understand what a gift means? You will never understand a woman's heart. I keep it because I like it. I DON'T look at it and google over him and remember all those times. I am 100% in love with you. I google over the things you give me. I hug your bear when I sleep. I think of you before I go to bed and think of YOU in the morning. "

She is the kind of girl who hates being forced to do things. If I threw that ultamatum... his stuff or me... she'd probably choose his stuff just cuz she hates being forced.

We had a talk last night after those emails, and I asked her when she was going to tell him.. She said next week sometime (and that's fine.. because this weekend is when his cousin passed away last year, i don't wish him to feel more pain already...) but i am really confused why she wants to hang onto his things when she says she wants to be with me 100%...

maybe u guys can give me some insights?