bellaZerlina

Just a little update for anyone who comes upon it. My ex never responded to my letter. However I saw him at a concert I was sitting on the edge of my friends and he comes and sits by me. After the concert he talked to me about how thanksgiving was and then left. Later I was talking to a friend and he stood near me waiting to talk, but then left because I was in the middle of a conversation. I am very relieved he stopped being such an idiot.

Whoa this guy is incredibly warped. It is ultimately your decision how to handle your reaction, but I would gauge it upon how his remarks effect you. Keep in mind since he seems like a cold and very manipulative person his response to whatever you say will probably be hurtful and uncalled for. I believe you are very wise to cut him completely out of your life. You are very correct you deserve a respectful man who never would sink so low as to call you demeaning names. I know this is not an answer, but rather just ideas to ponder. I wish you much luck

Thanks Emma & Annie you two are perfectly right, it is difficult as you know. I really do appreciate your responces. I know I shouldn't fret over it, however I want some resolution because otherwise our choir tour will be very awkward. Thanks for helping me, I have come very far from our breakup and it is very nice to have support from complete strangers who are clearly very smart as well as my fellow choir members. I thank you both for your advice and support I needed it - bellaZerlina

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. For my own reasons i decided not to contact him because i could not handle it at that point. We both attend the same small college and are involved in similar activities so i can never completely avoid him. However i saw him last night at an event he saw me enter the room and flat out turned his head and put his hand over his face. Later he walked past me and once again turned his head. At first I was somewhat pleased to have such an effect on him, however i do not like confrontation and we will be singing and touring in the same ensemble, so this may be problematic if not resolved. I am thinking this may be because friday was his b-day and i didn't call or anything, this seems rediculous to me previously in the week he had seen me and smiled and said hi. plus he has made no effort to call or anything, it seems quite presumptious of him to assume my world revolves around him. I guess this is just raving however i sent him a note after this event, the first time i have contacted him in 2 months. I told him i was simply curious as to why he won't even acknowledge my existence. I haven't gotten an answer yet, but made it clear to him that if he did not feel comfortable talking to me I would understand. I closed the letter wishing him well in school and that he had a good b-day. I guess I am just curious as to what others think of this situation. Perhaps any advice from past experiences. HOpefully someone can throw me an idea- ta much bellaZerlina

xenakis well that certainly is a thought to ponder... Just from what i know of him i really doubt the fact that he is gay. I know from uhhh... a few personal experiences that this is not the case he is very into women. i'm usually pretty good at identifying that. He is half Jewish, but that is more of his heritage than a practice. He is also not religious, one time we had discussed having sex and he said that he would be fine having sex with someone he had dated for three months, he doesn't like the thought of people sleeping around, but if you're in a relationhip it's fair game. He was basically waiting for me to be ready because i was unsure. golly jeepers this just sucks especially when i hear from friends that they saw him walking around looking sad...

Hey DN seriously thank you for your insight/advise. I have been having similiar thoughts about this situation. It is good to hear advise from other people aside from my mom and my friends. I don't know if you're still checking out this thing or anyone else crazy enough to listen to my ramblings, but should i wait for him to contact me or what. I have been currently focusing on my own things, but when i'm in a great mood it's so hard not to talk to him. Whenever i have something great want to share it with him, be it a song or a beautiful sky. Yeah i'm overly a nerd and completely sappy which i never was before i met him. Okay now i'm just being silly, time for me to shut up. Any more thoughts I'd be happy to hear them. Finding this site has helped me so much. Thank ya'll

Thanks so much for your response. When we had our breaking up discussion I told him that it was far too early to even be considering marrying him at this point in my life. He said he was relieved but still kept with his choice. After this we held hands all the way back to my place and then he kissed me when he left. He also said he would be willing to try again, but not right now. I had told him that it was when i got to know him that i had fallen in love with him. He took this to mean i wanted to marry him i told him that wasn't what i meant. I don't know it's just a very strange situation. Mostly because there were no warning signs the night he mentioned breaking up he had just introduced me as his girlfriend and we had been having a great time together.

Alright we had been dating for four months. He's 21 I'm 19. Three of those months were spent apart, but we still called each other every night. We are both students the time apart was summer vacation. Everything is going well. Over the summer I go with his family on a small vacation. The relationship between us and his family is going quite well. A month later we get back to school the first night we stayed at his family's house. Later that week he is nothing but his usual kind self. And then one night we come very close to having sex, which we have discussed (we are both virgins). And then he comes out and says he isn't ready for this relationship. He thinks about it 2 days calls me we go for a walk and discuss it. He says he can't explain it, but he isn't ready he still wants to be friends, he still loves me, but is not ready for a "relationship." I find out later his roommate has gotten engaged to his girlfriend of four months... anyone else seeing a correlation? I have stopped talking to him for the past 3 days, because whenever i talk to him he sounds sad. Since our breakup he has made no effort to contact me first, if I call he returns me calls immediately. This was so sudden there was no change in feelings, he still loves me. We have also never had any confrontations. I know I can't make him realize quicker, he even said he believes later he will probably realize he is making a mistake. This is also his longest relationship and he has only had 3 others lasting less than a month. What should i do to get him back? I really don't know what to do... aside from not talk to him. Any help would be welcome