dopeysgirl

I have known this guy for about 12 years. About 9 months after we met we slept together. He was my first. He told me then that he was not ready for a relationship. We stayed very good friends over the years but did not have sex again. That was until about 3 months ago when he asked me for a back rub and one thing led to another and we were sexual again after almost 11 years. I know that he goes on dating websites and has been for the past 3 or 4 years, but as far as I know he has never met anyone from any of these sites. He is not the kind of guy to have casual sex as when we were intimate again a few nights ago he said it had been a long time since he had been with anyone. My question is why would this guy allow or even want something sexual to happen between us if he has no emotional attachment to me? Is he testing me trying to get me to tell him what I want? Pleas Help! By the way I have met all of his family and they all like me.

I have known this guy for 12 years. When we first met things were great. About 9 months into the friendship we slept together. He knew that I was a virgin and he never pressured me about sleeping with him. We have continued the friendship over the years and all of his family would love for us to get together. At one point we spent a lot of time together. He would come and pick me up just to ride around, or I would go over to his house just to watch TV. He is 46 years old and I am 37(soon to be 38). I was told by a family member that he is not the type of man to have "casual sex" that in order for him to sleep with someone he has to love them or at least have strong feelings for them. He has been hurt very deeply in the past by an ex-wife who cheated on him and got pregnant by another man.Over the years we have only been intimate a total of 5 times, the last time being just a few weeks ago. I know that about 3 years ago he posted his profile on a couple of dating websites trying to "find" someone but as far as I know(from what one of his sons has said) he has never met with any of the ladies that he has seen on the websites. He also won't answer the phone when I call or return my calls(but he does that with everyone,even his sons). I feel that he cares for me but is afraid of getting hurt again, but I don't know how to take him posting his profile on the websites. Feeling that he is not the kind of man to have "FWB" sex I can't understand why he iniated things the other week when we were intimate, and because he has a lot of self-control. If he doen't have feelings for me why would he want to be intimate with me? Please help me understand what's going on. I am almost at the point of just walking away and never seeing him again but I don't want to walk away from his family.