karlak
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He's been with her for 9 months, while we were dating (first 6 months) and then after my ultimatum 'became exclusive'. It was a long distance relationship. So sometimes they wouldn't see each other for more than a month and sometimes they saw each other every 3 weeks on weekends or she was over for a week.
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Yes I do, we talk about it now and then and he reassures me and tells me to discuss it with him whenever I feel insecure or when I have qestions
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No there is nothin that would make me question our relationship right now. But I am an overthinker. And while I love him more than I have ever loved anyone that I've been in a relationship with, I still sometimes think of our beginnings and how it all started. These are the moments when I stark asking question such as: Why didn't he quit the relationship with his ex much earlier? Why did it take him 9 months? What were his initial thoughts when I asked him out on a date? etc...
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Sometimes I really am wondering what he would have done, if their relationship had improved. Would he just drop me and go back to her? Or was it his plan all along to break up with her, but he never found the right moment? I know he sometimes i very perfictionist and this holds him back in many situations.
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I would say I trust him him not to do it again. But I still question his intentions and sometimes feel like the second choice. If he loved me as much he says he does, why did he not break up with her immediately? Why did I need to question our relationship status for so long?
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I guess I'm scared that the story might repeat one day and then I will be the ex girlfriend. But what worries me more sometimes is to understand how someone so kind could have done something this terrible.
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No, I do not go through his phone, of course not! And he is not treating me poorly, rather the opposite. Our relationship has been going well since approx 1.5 years now.
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No. I think that’s just part of the story. I think he was not happy in the relationship for many reasons..
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Yes. I’m scared that the same thing could happen to me one day. It’s hard for me to rationalize how my bf could have done something so bad in the past. He’s such a loving boyfriend now, but sometimes I still get flashbacks. I ask myself why he didn’t let his ex girlfriend go much earlier or why he didn’t tell me the truth about his situation right from the start.
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It all began in July 2021 when we first met in person during a university group gathering. Prior to that, all our interactions were on Zoom due to the pandemic. I found him intriguing and later reached out, asking if he would like to go out for dinner sometime. He accepted the invitation, and at our first meeting, we shared our first kiss. As time passed, we had more meetings, and our relationship progressed to a sexual level. We began seeing each other around 1-2 times a week, and after three months, I felt the need to discuss the future of our relationship. During this conversation, he expressed his desire for our journey to lead towards a committed relationship, and he reiterated this sentiment multiple times in subsequent discussions. However, by December 2021, I decided it was time to have a clear definition of our relationship status. I told him that it had to be either a genuine relationship or nothing at all. He responded by saying he wanted to be in a relationship but couldn't fully commit at that moment, without being certain why he felt hesitant. I gave him a week to think things over, and he eventually called to tell me he didn't want to lose me. So, we agreed to label our connection as a relationship, and that was the state of things as of December 2021. Three months later, in April 2022, after nearly nine months of dating, he called me one evening to reveal that he had just ended his long-distance relationship of 500 km over the phone. He admitted that he had wanted to break up for a while but had been afraid to do so. He realized he had been leading a double life and acknowledged his selfishness in the situation. He said he was a coward and sorry for what he did to me and to his ex-girlfriend. Through our later conversations, I learned more about his previous long-distance relationship, which lacked a fulfilling sex life and was burdened by his partner's struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Since then, we've been together and living together for over a year. Our relationship has deepened, and we've become integrated into each other's social circles, traveled together, and experienced a lot as a couple. I've never been so invested in a relationship before, and I'm currently content and happy with how things are going. Given this background, I'm curious to know if anyone else would have given a second chance in my situation, and if so, what their reasons might have been.