trentrez

Yes it does, thx.

thx for the replie, but i know about breaking off completely, and the consequences of being mates, i just wanted some more specific advice, aka my original post

Thanks for the replies, Kate111, yes my goals have changed, and your advice is kinda of what i thought on the one hand, that she does miss me etc, but then the other people have said the exact opposite, that i shouldn't reply!!! Still confused!!

Cass, I'm in a similar situation, with the emailing, and very confused, link removed What do u think?

Its not that simple...is it? She's off with another bloke, but emailing me as a friend after we were partners/lovers for 3 and a half years. I appreciate the reply but maybe u missed some of my queries about 'healing', getting over things, i mean i was hurt. It would be nice to stay in touch if were about getting back together, but it doesn't feel that simple to become 'friends' with someone you've got that time in on who is now shacked up with some other guy. I don't want to be good friends, she was my lover and partner

Hi, I'm very confused prob for the first time ever, and could use some good outside advice. especially from a female prospective. I'll try to keep it brief: Me and ex-girlfriend, were together 3 and a half years, we split about 8 months ago, basically I had (true) led her to believe I didn't want kids etc andf she got tired of waiting for me to propose/comitment stuff. When it came about I realised I did want to comit but then it turned out she'd been cheating in the last couple of months of our relationship. Tried to win her back, she seemed unsure but finally went off with new bloke and 2 months ago went to live with him in another city. Okay thats the background. I have tried to forget about her, but she now emails me a couple of times a week, nothing about 'us', just what she's been up to, although she has said she misses her mates and home etc. I have been replying with a bit of general chit chat, probaly because I still love her and hold some sort of hope that if we stay in touch we may get back together. Now here is where I get real confused, here are what i think are the cons: I know its extremely unlikely we that we would ever be back together, it's also crossed my mind that she is only probaly emailing me because she is a bit lonely/homesick, I also think that maybe that if I were in her shoes I wouldn't have that much respect for someone who I've cheated on and left, but who replies to all my emails like a 'mate' . I also think that while I reply to her emails, it slows/prevents me getting over her. However on the other hand: I think if I don't reply, u know cut her off so I can fully heal, I lose the small chance that by staying matey and in touch we might get back together. Then there is the issue of why is she emailing an ex-boyfriend whilst living with a new one, does she miss me, or is she just trying to ease her guilt by making out we're mates? So i really don't know what to do, keep corresponding or not or something else?? All help gratefully appreciated Trent