billington

Something else happened today that I never thought of mentioning. Semi-frequently her away messages will be directed specifically towards me. I see her away messages every day (while obviously not every one necessarily, I'd say I see most of them. I'm one of those people who will check an away message as soon as the popup box says they're away) and there are no other people ever mentioned specifically mentioned in them. It's only me. She outright says my name in them. It happens in bunches, like a week and a half apart. I'll be in there for a couple days. It happened again today and it hit me that maybe it's a good sign. What do you think? If nothing else it always makes me less nervous to talk to her because it's almost like she's telling me it's okay to interrupt her. I can't really do anything about it for a while now, it's finals week and then break. In fact I'm done and getting ready to leave. I'm going back home and there's no internet access there, so I don't get to talk to anybody from school until I get back. Thank you everyone so much for your advice. It's helped me see things more clearly.

I went with tonight and here's what happened, good luck making any sense out of it. Skip to the second paragraph if you just want to see my confusion. I met Julia in the lobby. She said Kerri was going to meet us there with somebody else. We waited for another person who was supposed to go but never showed up. So just the two of us now left. We went to pick up another one of her friends. We got there really early on purpose, so we had a lot of time to kill. At this point there was five people. Joe shows up with his friend. We saw him, but he didn't stop by and say hi to her or anything. Julia also didn't go talk to him. He was sitting right in front of me in the theater even. After the movie we waited around for a while. I assume it was so she could talk to him, but it never happened. We left and there was never any contact with him. So that really surprised me, although not in a bad way. Another thing is on the way to the movie she specifically referred to Carl as just a friend. I wish I could just be open with somebody. It's rare that any woman shows any interest in me in any capacity (and that means just being friendly, nothing romantic ever). There's been about five. So I don't want to lose her friendship even if it only is seeing her about once a month. I figure there's people in the world who call each other friends and see each other less than that. But as much as I was dreading tonight after what I found out earlier, it went okay I think. There is a lingering doubt in my mind still... I can't help but think she wanted to talk to him but would have felt bad to leave me alone. Sure it was a group, but it was Kerri and her boyfriend and Julia's friend, so basically I was still alone since everyone else was paired. (That part felt the worst tonight, but I still got to spend time with her) I might just be thinking this went okay because I wasn't completely crushed like I have been before. Also on the jealousy thing... Maybe that was not her intention. I didn't see the conversation they had, so it's possible that was only Kerri's thought as to why she invited Joe. Right? It's hard for me to follow, both Kerri and Julia assume that I talk to the other one a lot more than I do, so they both think I know everything that's going on in the other's personal lives. I wish they'd feel like they could talk to me about that, but they never have. I get more of that from Kerri than I do Julia, and I get to talk to her even less. I don't know if there's a question or anything worth responding to in this anywhere, but please leave comments. As for No, that's why I chose this forum

She could think of me as a friend. We've known each other for a while, but we don't really see each other ever. It's definitely less than once a month at the most. So it's rare that I get to spend time with her. Also I only started feeling this way about her very recently. But what if she thought I would not go if she didn't tell me it was a group? I'm probably just hanging onto hope too long again, but that's all I have. I can see your point also though, like she could just be trying to be very clear she doesn't want to go with me.

You replied to my thread so I looked up if you started anything, so here it goes. Personally, if a girl asked me out I don't think I could say no. I also know for a fact if I told her I'd call, no matter how nervous I was I'd still call, but that's just me I have a story I can relate to this though. Kerri from my thread liked this guy for many months. She would never tell him how she felt. One of her friends (if not several, but one I know of for sure) told the guy Kerri wanted him to ask her out. So he knew, he outright knew she liked him. I didn't ever trust the guy, but here's what he did. He invited her to watch some movies now and again and she did a couple times. More often however, the guy made plans with her and completely blew her off. He told her he'd call and never did. This happened several times but she had such a crush on him she still liked him somehow. She would be so sad after he stood her up, yet would be so excited again the next time she had plans with him... only to be disappointed again. Eventually she finally said enough is enough and quit stopped talking to him. That guy has no idea what a great person he missed out on and she deserves much better. I hope the same is not starting to happen to you. I do not believe it is possible for you to say you would go out with him and have him simply forget about it. It's just not possible. I don't know if he is just enjoying stringing you along or what... I guess if you want you could give him another chance if you really want to, but if it happens again you have to stop thinking about him. I hope everything works out for you, but if this is the way he acts I am sure you can do much better for yourself.

Well I don't know for sure who the other two people are. Joe could be meeting the rest of us there. I've never really hung out with this group before, just Julia and Kerri. I'm shy but I also don't want to hurt their feelings. Although I guess putting their feelings before mine may be part of a larger problem... Anyways basically I know that even if I wanted to I couldn't bring myself to walk out of a theater in the middle of a movie and just walk home. I just really don't want to be sitting next to Julia for a couple hours with another guy hanging off of her.

I got a message from this girl I like Julia saying she was going to see a movie with a group and wanted to know if I would want to go with. I say yes immediately. I thought maybe she was being sure to tell me it was a group because she thought I wouldn't go otherwise. (That's why I'm posting in this section) So at this point I was anxious for Friday to come. The next day I'm talking to another person, Kerri, who is going to the movie with this group. Eventually she brings up the movie. She was talking to Julia online at the time. She said she was surprised John was going to the movie. She told me Julia invited him to make Carl (I would guess an ex boyfriend) jealous. Now it's pretty clear to me that I am at best a backup plan. So my question is do I still go or do I work get out of this somehow? I heard today Julia is picking up Kerri and I then getting two more people. Quick simple math tells me that's not good. (5th wheel anyone?) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is some extra information that may or may not factor into your answers... A while ago she invited me to another movie and said there was a group going. I got there and when she showed up, it was her and Carl. And there was me and nobody else. That was so awkward for me I can't even begin to explain it. I couldn't get into the movie at all, all I could think about was how I didn't want to be there. However there was another time where it was just her and I at a movie. I don't know what to do, so it didn't go so great. I could see her look over at me during the movie at times. I've only seen movies alone. I know most people think that's sad but it's all I've ever known and I don't consider myself above doing that. But because I'm so shy](*,) that's why I thought she asked me with a group this time. Of course that was before I heard about the other guy. I know it's late notice but any comments and suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Just to clarify, I asked our common friend about it. The one I thought might like me, but I've completely ruled that out. So after I asked her about it, I talked to her for probably another half hour. So she was okay with it I guess, but obviously surprised that I like her friend as I do.

Ok, so a few days ago I told her friend. Basically I told her I wanted to ask her out and I wanted to know if she thought it would be something she'd be open to. Basically the response I got was "Like on a date?" (ouch) then a little pause followed by "I don't know." Seems like a pretty clear no to me. What do you think?

I consider that to be very profound for a person your age. Although that puts you at the same age as my little brother, which is a little weird, but thanks nonetheless. I think it my chances were really 50/50 there would be no doubt in my mind of asking.

Ah, but there is something to lose, like being able to talk to her again. The other post I linked to describes it thoroughly. When I say it didn't work out well, I mean I got shot down, and my friendship has never been the same. That's what I don't want to duplicate.

I posted link removed on the other board, so that will give you the story... I'm really shy and afraid of opening up to people. Within the last couple of days though, I've almost convinced myself to ask her out because she'll say yes. That is really scary to me because that's what happened the last time and it didn't work out well at all. But I really want to tell her, I just don't want to ruin anything again.

Not sure quite what you're asking. In general, yes I have other friends. But if you mean do I have any other friends that are also friends of her's, then no. What if she's only being nice to me because her friend likes me??? If that's what's happening, I'm completely screwed, because then I can't say anything to either of them. This wouldn't be my first time asking somebody out, I'm just concerned because of what happened last time. I always liked the same girl all throughout high school. She had a boyfriend the entire time up until senior year. I never really talked to her that much until senior year either, that was when things started to work out. So senior year I talked to her everyday. I eventually convinced myself that she would say yes and the worst that could happen is she could say no. That's both right and wrong. When I got blown off it hurt more than I ever imagined, but that wasn't really the worst because our friendship has never been the same since. That's why I don't want to screw this one up like the last one.

I forgot to add. I think that at the very least she doesn't dislike me. Everytime we talk I can make her laugh. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think she'd laugh if she was just wanting me to leave.

Here's the rundown of the situation, and I'm going to guess it'll be pretty long, so please bear with me. I'm in my second year at college. I met the girl I have a crush on my first year. We lived in the same house. (House is the term here for half of a floor of a dorm hall) I liked her from the moment I saw her. She had a boyfriend, so that's pretty much the story of my first year. I am friends with her, but I don't really see her that much, but I talk to her when I do get to see her. Nobody knows how I feel about her except me. I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about her, and I think about her all the time. Nobody has ever had this kind of an effect on me. She makes references about how she wants a boyfriend, but not ever directly to me, only when there's another friend around. I don't know what that means, but I do know it hurts when she talks about it. I hope the reason she doesn't talk about it to me is because she likes me. Now jump to this year. We don't even live in the same hall. She is no longer with her then boyfriend. She works at the desk in the lobby, so I see her a couple time's a week if I'm lucky. I find myself saving things to mail at strange times because of the hours she works. I'm to the point where I'll just put an envelope in the mail addressed to myself just so I have an excuse to go down there and run into her. I've talked to her for a lot longer periods of time this year. I ordered a pizza one night, and when it got there I asked her if she wanted any. She seemed really happy, but that's probably just because she was hungry. But we talked for a long time and we ate the whole thing right there at the front desk. I really want to ask her out, but I'm afraid of the consequences if she doesn't want any part of it. I'm friends with one of her best friends as well. So I thought I would ask her for advice on what I should do. For all I know, maybe my crush likes me too, right? Well I doubt it, but I guess it's possible. I figure she would have the insight as to whether or not it would be a good idea, or if I should just forget about it. Now here's the potentially horrible twist. I've picked up on signs that maybe my crush's friend likes me. So now I'm truly have no idea what to do. I've been trying to rundown the different situations as to what the outcomes could be, here's what I've come up with. I'm afraid of what happens if she says no. Would I ever be able to talk to her again? Would she always feel uncomfortable around me? I'm going to keep referring to my crush's friend as her friend, but remember "her friend" is also my friend, and I don't want to lose any friends because I had to go and open up to people and screw everything up. Best case I find out my crush feels the same way about me as I do her. Her friend doesn't have any feelings for me like that. I become the luckiest person on the face of the planet. However, with my luck I don't see this one happening Next best case I tell her friend how I feel, find out that my crush has never mentioned me like that or maybe even at all, but she tells me to go for it. #3 I tell her friend what the deal is, and she tells me it's a bad idea and I shouldn't ask her out. I'm crushed, but at least I can still talk to her. Bad case Her friend tells me to go ahead and ask her out, but she does like me and keeps her feelings to herself. My crush says yes to me, but her friend hates me now. Another bad case When I tell her friend my true feelings about my crush, her friend tells me she likes me. I really have no solution to this case, so I really hope it doesn't come up. I don't have any clue what I would do if this happened. Worst case I tell her friend, but her friend does like me. She is mad at me because I like her friend and not her. Then she's mad at my crush because of the same reason. My crush and her friend both hate me and I lose two friends. There's probably more cases that could turn up, but that's all I'm going to write for now. What should I do? This is tearing me up inside...