Verdigo

Why don't you try it without a condom? If she gets on birth control and you both check out ok, then things are much better, trust me. Viagra helps too, only its a little hard to get if your young. A friend of mine gave me some one time and it was good, very good. Just don't cheat on her, because if she trusts you, you should respect that. Imagine giving her an STD just because she trusted you, not cool.

I guess the problem with the internet is that you can be whoever you want to be, depending on how you type. The same goes for communication, although most people tend to judge you on your body language, looks, etc. All I'm saying is that if you have specific recipes then you can loose weight, ya I know it sounds weird for me to be exchanging recipies, but we have been working at this weight loss thing for a while now and I think I know something about the subject, thats all. I'm not trying to portray myself as innocent or a different person, I'm just trying to help someone loose weight if she chooses. This doesn't necessarily mean she will become more attractive. Back to the original topic, I'm really cought between a rock and a hard place. The right thing to do is break up with her if I don't love her. How do you know if your in love? Is there a sign, or something? I'm lost here, because if i love her, then I wouldn't be thinking about breaking up with her, right? Then why do i feel so bad when I bring the subject up or talk about it? Really, it hurts me deep inside, but going on like this is very strange. I'm not going to break up with her just because someone on the internet told me to, but I do appreciate you comments, or atleast most of them.

Thank you for your comments, they are helpful. Actually, I see more and more characteristics that I like about her as she looses more weight. I'm not sure why its so important to me, perhaps because I want her to feel good and look good, and her self confidense shines through, which makes her more appealing. Its not only her weight, but all the stupid social implications and retarded ignorance that goes along with it. I'd rather have everything perfect and be happy rather than always know there is something still bothering me in the back of my mind. Women seem to care less about anything other than "true love", but I've heard of many people claiming they had true love only to find themselves heartbroken. Lets face it, love is BLIND. Its hard to find someone perfect, so letting your mate know what you like/dislike will eable open communication and less ignorance. I guess its just how you put it, "if you don't do this then I won't love you is wrong", yes, but letting someone know how you honestly feel stops the circle of hurt feelings and subsequent break-ups. Sunsheyen, I think that you are making the right choice by going to the jym. I go with my gf, and it encourages her to keep it up. We've been going for about a year now, and it really pays off. We go every day, run a mile, then lift weights, it amazing how much better you look after working out for along period of time. The mornings are the best time to go because it speeds up your metabolism. As for dieting, we have found that you should eat a healthy diet that isn't too high in calories. Avoid regular pop, pastas, potatoes(french fries), high fat foods. Eating lots of protein helps, but don't do atkins, it works but its not good. If your watching your weight, you should loose on avaerge 2 pounds a week, sometimes 1, sometimes 3, but average 2. Let me know if you need any recipes or anything.

actually, I think this relationship will work. The problem here is that girls are so sensitive about their weight that when you tell them you would like them to loose weight, they freak out. It is my belief that you should be honest and open about how you feel, and if something bothers you, you should let it be known. I love her, I just don't love certain parts of her, which can be changed. She always wanted to loose weight, now she has a reason, and when she looses all the weight she wants, then both of us will be happy and we can both move on and forget about all this. I don't think that is too much to ask, especially since it will only increase our standard of living. I am happy to be with her now, in the present, and I want HER to be happy so that I can see that she has self confidense and can stand up to any challenge that comes her way. I want her to be an individual, and not have to be faced with the presure that other people place on how she looks every day of her life. Actually, everyone says that looks shouldn't matter, and that its whats on the inside that counts, BUT at the same time, you also say that you would never get involved with someone you wern't attracted to in the first place. So, how doesn that make the person feel that likes you but you won't go out with them simply because how they look. yes I was wrong for saying I will only date you if you loose weight, but everyone is not perfect, and we all make mistakes. The end result is that she is loosing weight, feeling better about herself, and in turn, becomeing more attractive to me because she has a greater self confidence, and also looks better. grrrrr

No offense taken, I feel like the coldest person on this planet. Actually, she chased me for three years before we started dating, and the manner in which "that" happened I don't want to get into, but it wasn't love at first sight, lets put it that way. Actually, we both have low self-esteem but I know that she would need years of therapy as it is to break up with her now. Knowing how much it hurts myself to break up with someone, I can't physically do it. It seems as though I'll be stuck with her for the rest of my life because it seems there is no way out that is "easy". You can play the "what if game" game for so long, but in the end its all just a gamble. Do I gamble that after she looses weight, she will be attractive or gamble that it really wasn't meant to be, and break it off now? I know it seems as though she would be better off without me because I seem like an insensitive ass, but I really do care about her, its just that she doesn't seem like "the one". She is doing everything in her power to heal things, which makes it a lot more difficult to break it off. The more I think about it though, the more I think it would be better if we broke things off, which makes me feel even more cold. I guess I need hlep on how to put an end to a relationship when you live together and are already talking about marriage.

I am currently dating a girl who is overweight. I have known her for around 4 years now. At the beginning we were just friends, although since the last 6 months we have been dating. I never really found her very attractive, but easy to get along with. I agreed to date her as long as she lost weight. We have been exercising every day now and she has lost some weight, but is only half way there to her goal. She wants to get married, although I think that her weight was a BIG problem and I'm worried that after she looses weight, I still will not have strong feelings for her. I'm afraid to break up with her because she would not handle it well (her first boyfriend took her 2 years to get over). What should I do? I feel like I'm being cold, but at the same time, I can't help what I feel.