I miss you.
I was on a high yesterday (maybe due to the fact I knew you would be at the meeting), you hugged me so tight and you kissed me hello (you missed my cheek and got me in the nape of my neck), I melted and it confused me. You apologised that you were on a phone call when I arrived and looked genuinely upset that we couldn't talk before hand. When the team arrived I caught you watching me, when I spoke to the team I noticed your mood change and turn dark, I felt it, I'm sorry. It was too familiar to you.
My heart aches because I know you are busy with work and I want to help, I know it is not my business to offer help like in the past and it hurts, I care that you are under pressure and would give anything to be able to change that.
Today was hard I flicked between this site, my facebook, works page and my emails, not to stalk you, but looking for a sign from you. I was distracted at work and made silly mistakes.
I sent a group email to you and the team, a brief on the meeting and hoped you would praise my research. (even though I had written in the first paragraph that no-one was to reply until next week).. anything, but nothing came.
Now I'm home, sitting on my laptop... posting here because I am aching to send you one of my smiles or a messages of support, I wont, but man..ahhhh,
Hell I miss our talks. Our conversations on saving the world and everyone in it.
I think of you and how easy our conversations are/were, how we could talk about everything and anything. You use to describe me as Polymath. I want that back.
ache.