demosthenes

Yep, married and everything, until she turned around one day and said "actually, sorry, turns out I don't love you anymore" and left. Bitter? Me? Nah.

If I knew how to do that, I wouldn't be so hopeful for this one Man, I just have no idea how to meet girls. My last relationship sucked 9 years out of my life and now, even though I'm still fairly young, I have completely forgotten how to meet girls, date, etc. Sorry, didn;t mean to come accross quite so "Oh woe is me"

So, now I've had advice to call her, to not call her but visit her, to do neither and hope she calls me, or to give up on her... Man, I thought I was confused before! I'm hopefully being needlessly panicky at the moment since it's only the 3rd day today since I met her and gave her my number, but I guess we'll see. Vert/Iceman, yes, that's what I thought too when she asked for my number, but it didn't really come accross like that, we were having a good chat and she talked about the logistics of one of us picking the other one up to head out and so on, didn't come accross as a brush off. Oh well, not much I can do but wait. If I don't hear anything by the end of the weekend then I might give her a call at work on Monday or Tuesday (Tuesday will be a week since I met her). You never know, maybe she lost my number

No, although I know where she works, so I could call there and ask for her (she's the manager).

But.. but.. now I'm confused SHE asked for MY phone number, doesn't that mean she's going to call me? The only other reason I can think is that it was a way of not giving me her number because she wanted to blow me off, but it didn't come accross like that (and anyway, why not just say no instead of getting someone's hopes up).

Hi all, Trying to get back into dating after a long time away from it (and a messy breakup early last year). So, I met this really nice girl and we chatted a little, seemed to get on really well and so I asked her if she would like to go out for a coffee or lunch sometime. She said yes and seemed pretty keen, and asked for my phine number. I gave her my mobile and home numbers and we chatted a little more before I left. It all seemed to go really well, I didn't get the impression that she only said yes to get rid of me or anything like that. So, my question is, how long should I expect to wait until she calls me, assuming she is going to? As far as I understand the "rules" of dating it's usually 2 or 3 days, is that right? Longer? Shorter? If I don't hear from her after a period of time is it OK for me to call her? (I don't know her home or mobile number, but I know where she works because that's where I met her). If so, how long should I wait? I don't know this girl very well, but she seems really nice and we seemed to get on well, so I'm really hoping something comes of this. I really wish I had tried to set an actual date/time when I asked her, or is that usually a bad idea anyway? Man, I know nothing about dating Thanks, Demosthenes.

How do I cope? I've been married for 3.5 years, but have actually been with my wife for nearly 9. We met when she and her ex- moved into my flat, but he turned out to be abusive and she and I became friends and I helped her split from him. We got together soon after that. I know what you're thinking, I was thinking the same thing - she's only with me as a rebound and because I helped her get out of a bad situation. That's why after we dated for about 8 months I broke things off (also because she was very clingy). We were separated for about 3 months (sw each other very infrequently during that time) but got back together because we both felt it was right. She was quite young and naieve at that time, had a terrible job that she hated working in a factory and had no self confidence or strength at all, as well as being painfully shy. Over the years, I have been helping her learn that it's OK to be her own person, it's OK to have her own feelings and to be herself. She's now an amazing woman in a good job that she enjoys, she's not shy anymore (well, a little, but certainly not like she used to be) and she's strong and independent. The problem is, now she doesn't know if she loves me. Ironic huh? I help her transform into a new person and it turns out that person doesn't need me anymore. We've been so happy for so long, we were an amazingly close couple. I sometimes used to feel a bit superior to some of our friends because I could see their relationship was rocky at times, but ours always seemed so strong. There was never a time when we weren't happy, and we have always enjoyed doing things together, etc. A couple of months ago she said that she didn't feel as close to me anymore, but that she still loved me. We agreed to work on things and stay together while doing so. A few weeks later, she said she didn't want to tell me she loved me anymore, in case it wasn't true. Then things started to get a little better, and she told me she did love me after all. I was delerious with happiness, things were great. Two weeks later, she was back to not being sure. Then she loved me again, and things got really good for several weeks. Now she doesn't know again. This time she says she's just not sure if she's ever loved me or if she has only been with me all this time because she doesn't want to be alone. She cares for me and loves me as a friend, but needs to know if it's more than that. She wants to go away for a week to be by herself and sort through her feelings. What do I do? I love her with all my heart and soul, and I can't bear the thought of being without her. Even the thought of her not being around for a week makes me feel physically ill, and I'm terrified that at the end of that week she'll say that it's over. I can't sleep, I haven't eaten in days (I keep waiting until she's not around, then I cook food and throw it away just so it will smell like I had some or she will be worried, how pathetic is that?) and I'm physically and mentally drained. The other day I was driving up a hill, going too fast, and an 18-wheeler truck was coming down the other way also going too fast, and just for a second I thought "all I have to do is swerve and I wont have to think about it anymore". I don't think I'm that weak and pathetic as to kill myself, but even the fact that it through my head, even just for a second, scares the hell out of me. I don't really even have anyone to talk to - most of my friends are also her friends and I don't want them to know yet. I just don't know how I'll cope if it's all over. I've never been someone who was confident around women, I don't think I could ask someone out or even get into a situation where I could get to know someone well enough to ask her out. I love my wife so much and I can't bear the thought of her going. I'm terrified of being alone and lonely. How do you do it? How do you cope? What do I do? I can't stand feeling this way. I break down 2 or 3 times a day, and because guys aren't supposed to cry that makes me feel ashamed, which makes me feel even worse. I don't understand how someone's feelings can change after nearly 9 happy years together. Why does life suck so much?