Mako47

Thanx mate.. I was supposed to ring HER up next week, but I don't know....best to let it rest? You think? She wasn't supposed to call me, but you think she will? What leads you to that?

I've done a tonne of thinking on this, and if she doesn't really want to, I can't force it. I think all the things I've been thinking of....are in the past. And I can't really see a future her with her. If she broke away from me on a whim, after three years, who's to say it won't happen again. I'm beginning to see light through all of this, and it saddens me, but in the same vein, I'm glad that I can possibly be happy with 'me'....alone, sans relationship. I Love her, and will for a while, I suppose, but how can I continue to mull this when obviously, it's one sided. What a tangled web this is. I just can't help but think about the past....our place, all our stuff...*sigh*...but yes it is in the past. How can forward momentum happen, when one holds to an anchor behind them....and all that sort. I want her to be happy, ultimately....and if that's not with me...so be it. It sucks, but hey. "What shall we do, to fill, the empty spaces where we used to talk...." -Pink Floyd Empty Spaces I do miss her, and it hurts, but there's not much I can do. Should I call her next week? Something is telling me no, but what are your thoughts guys?

Well... Looks like we won't be meeting up this evening. She said she was exhausted, and was just going home to crash. We may....may hook up next week, but I don't know. We got talking, and I asked her how she was, and she seems to be just fine. In fact, it looks like she'll be moving to IRELAND later this year. I really don't know what to say. All for not, I'm afraid. Why can't I listen to people? I'm quite speechless right now. 5 months of this no contact stuff, and wow......blammo. I won't lie....this hurts.

But, um....I am supposed to call her... Actually, folks...it was when we met the other day, when she hugged me that I thought that it could be time to start again. From square -1, gnomesayin? I guess I'm just over analyzing this, but I really do miss her. Trust that nothing will be blathered on about, relationship-wise. A lot has happened with me since we parted ways, and I'm sure with her as well. We will have a lot to talk about, besides the past. I'm just going into this cautiously optimistic.

...and oh yeah, thanks all!! Any last words?

...still no word yet. She doesn't get to work 'till 6, so...I'm quite anxious. *sighs, and catches breath*

Holy...Trying to keep cool, but I'm simply electric with anticipation. It's like a terrible christmas eve. Will she, won't she... ..Deep breaths... 1 more day....hoo boy.

So.... Bloody..... Confused.....!

Wow....that was quite intense!! Thank's for the head check! Now, A day 'till the possible meeting, I find myself wondering if it will actually happen. Nothing transpired to make me think as such, but It's just a feeling I'm getting. And if it doesn't...when I call her up (she was the one that said to 'defenitely call'), if she doesn't want to for whatever reason, it'll be crappy. For sure. Then where am I? I'm feeling quite lost, and nothing has happened yet. Keep it coming, guys 'n gals...this is helping more than you know.

You are all very wise, and I thank you. Some good sense there. It's a good thing I'm a musician, because no release at all would be a nightmare. Thank you all so much. Can you think of anything else....the smallest details would help.

...And... Should I read into the fact that she hasn't called me since we made contact again? Ow, my bleamin' head!

Sensible... I guess I am just excited at the prospect. I want it to work so bad. One of the things she did say, was to just 'go with the flow'. I am so stunned at the fact that she hugged me that time....seems so small, but it wasn't to me. It was like coming home again, if that makes any sense. Max, I do know these things I've learned. You're right....blatting them all out at once could be a little intense. But I want her to know and realize that I have done a lot of thinking on this. It's so tangled...

Thanks Max...but here's the dilemma... I have learned so much since we broke up...what not to do, what to do, lots of things. I just want to tell her this....and the chances of her bringing up the past seem slim. I'm quite confused. So let her bring up the past first? Are you sure? I guess with the rebound relationship, I learned thwe true meaning of 'be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.' Hard to explain, but it's the truth. I believe we can make this work. I just want to scream it from the rafters.

And another thing....there was no 'left me for another', or any conniving acts as such...at the time of the split, She didn't really know why she was leaving, and I still don't to this day, so I'm wondering what to talk of when we meet later this week. Graaa!!!!

It really knocked me back when she said she missed me as well, and then hugged me....it was very good. I just feel that it's 'right', ya know? What in the blue hell should I tell her when we meet up? Let it all out, about learning when we were apart, and such? Or just....damn, I don't know. I'm not one of those blokes with the old 'I don't give a toss' attitude...I do. I genuinely care about her, in the deepest way, still to this day. And I know somewhere inside her, she still does in some way. The time we shared together was too good not to have. I'm blathering on, I know...but I'm excited and bloody terrified at the same time. "When I was younger, so much younger than today..." And all that sort...

Some of you might remember me, some not...Here's my story. In a nutshell.. My ex and I were together for 3 years in a very close relationship. She left. We lived together, and were very close. I had noticed a 'shift' in her before the break up, but never chalked it up to 'close to breaking up.' Well, it happened. I was (am) crushed. Now... About 3 months later, I got into a relationship again. This was a mistake, since all through the time we were together, all I could think about was my ex. I still Love her....very much. But...I learned a lot in the time we were apart, about myself, and her as well. Obviously, I had to end the current relationship...I couldn't go on pretending any more, and I was honest with her. Didn't take it well. Do they ever? That was the first time in my life that I had to end a relationship, and it was a very tough think to confront, and undertake. So this is the thing... I ran into my ex after 4 months of no speaking at all really...and she asked why I was being so weird, and I told her.."I don't know, but I really miss you like crazy" Here's the thing, gang....she said she missed me as well, and then gave me a huge hug. I don't mean to get all sappy, but I tell you this...when she was in my arms for that brief moment, I felt whole again. I really did. I asked her if she wanted to do something sometime, and she said maybe. So a couple of days ago, I called her and asked if she wanted to go to a movie, or whatnot, and she said to call her in a couple of days to see. I was ecstatic. I ran into her today, when out for a walk here in town, and I said to her, since she gets off at 9pm, did she maybe want to get something to eat instead, and she said she didn't want a movie, or anything to eat, but maybe we could go for a walk or something, and to give her a call on Thurs. Am I living in a fantasy land to think the possibility is there? There is a bond between us that I just can't explain, and I'm losing my mind here to think....maybe. *gulp* Any advice would be ace. To quote the Beatles....HELP!

EUREKA!! Nice shootin' Tex! Good one. THAT would be a tornado I want NOTHING to do with.

And by the way...my new gf's ex is sneaking about here too....that was put wrong....like kinda the same thing I'm going thru too. Just not on large a scale. What are they THINKING??!! My ex was seeing some other dude as well after we broke up for a while. All this after she said she just didn't want a relationship. I really don't mind, y'all, it's just I'm seeing the immaturity level of my ex now. I defenitely don't want that back, it's just confusing, ya know?

Oh. no...don't get me wrong here....I am staying with her....forward momentum, eh? I just don't need these head games here.....it's massively retarded.

This isn't necesarilly a question, rather a statement. My ex and I have been apart for 4 months now, and I've moved on. A good thing. I'm now with a great girl, and we're totally having a great time. Now....after being a total byotch to me for so long after we broke up (were together for 3 years), she catches wind of this, and now she's calling me (unheard of), and walking by my work, waving in and stuff like that..totally bizarre. I'm serious too, gang....she was NASTY after we broke up. Wouldn't give me the time of day, yadda yadda. And in all truth, I did nothing to contribute to this nastiness. I'm in the conception stage of what possibly could be...will be a great relationship here, and my ex is being as bi polar as a gay eskimo. Re-freaking-diculous. Comments, questions?

Or, you could crank up SLIPKNOT!!! Yeah, now that's heavy! Try #5 from 'Iowa'....'tis called "The End Of Everything" one of the lines.... "I think I'm gonna be sick, and it's YOUR FAULT!" What a release......*whew*