Mako47

Thanx mate.. I was supposed to ring HER up next week, but I don't know....best to let it rest? You think? She wasn't supposed to call me, but you think she will? What leads you to that?

I've done a tonne of thinking on this, and if she doesn't really want to, I can't force it. I think all the things I've been thinking of....are in the past. And I can't really see a future her with her. If she broke away from me on a whim, after three years, who's to say it won't happen again. I'm beginning to see light through all of this, and it saddens me, but in the same vein, I'm glad that I can possibly be happy with 'me'....alone, sans relationship. I Love her, and will for a while, I suppose, but how can I continue to mull this when obviously, it's one sided. What a tangled web this is. I just can't help but think about the past....our place, all our stuff...*sigh*...but yes it is in the past. How can forward momentum happen, when one holds to an anchor behind them....and all that sort. I want her to be happy, ultimately....and if that's not with me...so be it. It sucks, but hey. "What shall we do, to fill, the empty spaces where we used to talk...." -Pink Floyd Empty Spaces I do miss her, and it hurts, but there's not much I can do. Should I call her next week? Something is telling me no, but what are your thoughts guys?

Well... Looks like we won't be meeting up this evening. She said she was exhausted, and was just going home to crash. We may....may hook up next week, but I don't know. We got talking, and I asked her how she was, and she seems to be just fine. In fact, it looks like she'll be moving to IRELAND later this year. I really don't know what to say. All for not, I'm afraid. Why can't I listen to people? I'm quite speechless right now. 5 months of this no contact stuff, and wow......blammo. I won't lie....this hurts.

But, um....I am supposed to call her... Actually, folks...it was when we met the other day, when she hugged me that I thought that it could be time to start again. From square -1, gnomesayin? I guess I'm just over analyzing this, but I really do miss her. Trust that nothing will be blathered on about, relationship-wise. A lot has happened with me since we parted ways, and I'm sure with her as well. We will have a lot to talk about, besides the past. I'm just going into this cautiously optimistic.

...and oh yeah, thanks all!! Any last words?

...still no word yet. She doesn't get to work 'till 6, so...I'm quite anxious. *sighs, and catches breath*

Holy...Trying to keep cool, but I'm simply electric with anticipation. It's like a terrible christmas eve. Will she, won't she... ..Deep breaths... 1 more day....hoo boy.

So.... Bloody..... Confused.....!

Wow....that was quite intense!! Thank's for the head check! Now, A day 'till the possible meeting, I find myself wondering if it will actually happen. Nothing transpired to make me think as such, but It's just a feeling I'm getting. And if it doesn't...when I call her up (she was the one that said to 'defenitely call'), if she doesn't want to for whatever reason, it'll be crappy. For sure. Then where am I? I'm feeling quite lost, and nothing has happened yet. Keep it coming, guys 'n gals...this is helping more than you know.

You are all very wise, and I thank you. Some good sense there. It's a good thing I'm a musician, because no release at all would be a nightmare. Thank you all so much. Can you think of anything else....the smallest details would help.

...And... Should I read into the fact that she hasn't called me since we made contact again? Ow, my bleamin' head!

Sensible... I guess I am just excited at the prospect. I want it to work so bad. One of the things she did say, was to just 'go with the flow'. I am so stunned at the fact that she hugged me that time....seems so small, but it wasn't to me. It was like coming home again, if that makes any sense. Max, I do know these things I've learned. You're right....blatting them all out at once could be a little intense. But I want her to know and realize that I have done a lot of thinking on this. It's so tangled...

Thanks Max...but here's the dilemma... I have learned so much since we broke up...what not to do, what to do, lots of things. I just want to tell her this....and the chances of her bringing up the past seem slim. I'm quite confused. So let her bring up the past first? Are you sure? I guess with the rebound relationship, I learned thwe true meaning of 'be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.' Hard to explain, but it's the truth. I believe we can make this work. I just want to scream it from the rafters.

And another thing....there was no 'left me for another', or any conniving acts as such...at the time of the split, She didn't really know why she was leaving, and I still don't to this day, so I'm wondering what to talk of when we meet later this week. Graaa!!!!

It really knocked me back when she said she missed me as well, and then hugged me....it was very good. I just feel that it's 'right', ya know? What in the blue hell should I tell her when we meet up? Let it all out, about learning when we were apart, and such? Or just....damn, I don't know. I'm not one of those blokes with the old 'I don't give a toss' attitude...I do. I genuinely care about her, in the deepest way, still to this day. And I know somewhere inside her, she still does in some way. The time we shared together was too good not to have. I'm blathering on, I know...but I'm excited and bloody terrified at the same time. "When I was younger, so much younger than today..." And all that sort...