Stinkweed

I it is just a maturity thing, because I think the same thing used to happen when I was 14. Now, when I ejaculate, it does shoot out like people say it does. If when you are older, the problem persists, then you should see a doctor.

Well, I am not in the position to be giving you advice, because I am very shy too and I have problems trying to talk to a girl and deciding whether she hates me or not (See my posts "Does She hate Me?" and "Please Help!!" in the conversational tips section). I think you are lucky because there is a lot of evidence that points to the fact that he likes you too. I wouldn't know what to do if I were in your place, because I have never been liked by a girl I like or any girl at all. You should try to spend some time with him until you find yourself more comfortable when you are close to him. I can't do that because the girl I like is actually, I think, avoiding me.

Best wishes for you,

Dead Eyes

You asked "Can I ask you something? What do you want to happen? If everything went perfectly, what would be the best thing that could come out of this?" Well, first of all I would like to be a normal 16 year old. I would like to get to know this girl better and then have a relationship with her (if everything goes well). I would like to get to know her, because I need someone to talk to. I know she is someone who would understand me. We are of the same age (I'm probably a couple of months older). That means that we are going through the same hardships of this age. I don't know if I should even bother talking to the girl. What for? I don't want to just be her friend from far away, I want to be someone in whom she can trust. And I want to trust her too. I can't just talk to my old friends because they are very far away and everything seems to be going well for them. Besides, I would like to talk to someone who is more than a friend. Someone I can trust and she also could trusts me. I consider myself trustworthy when keeping secrets. I also think I am good in listening what people say. So, I don't think communication would be a problem, as long as it's someone I know and trust. Concerning my future, well, right now I don't look forward to anything. A couple of years ago I wanted to work with computers "when I grow up". Now, I feel I have no interests. You say that joining the marines is the classic way to run away from a lost or unrequitted love. Well, I wouldn't do it just to run away from love, but from life itself. I am sick of everything. I am not like other people who hate the world. I just hate myself in particular, because I know it's my fault not being able to enjoy life. But I won't be able to join the marines because my parents say they won't let me. Especially my father, he says he will be dead before letting me join the marines or become a boxer because it's too dangerous and harmful. And, well, the thought of me joining the marines hasn't even touched my mother's imagination. I would have to run away to do it. But it would cause my folks too much suffering. Well, concerning what I would like to happen if everything went perfectly. I will also add that I would do anything humanly possible to make her happy.

The problem is that I don't want to survive. I have given much thought to joining the marines. That way, if I die, I'll die as a heroe. I don't want to die old, I want to die as soon as possible. The problem is that my parents won't let me. I just am very angry. Even though I am only 16 I feel so old. The only time when I am "happy" is when I'm sleeping, because I don't even have dreams. I'm just a rock. What do I have to do to find a therapist? I need one as soon as possible.

Best wishes for you, Kufena.

P.S: I know that Life isn't just a game, it's just that for some people it's full of fun and happiness.

I'm planning on telling her The truth: that I'm sorry for giving her the wrong impression, and that I'm really interested in her and would really like to get to know her. I don't know if she'll say she cares, or she doesn't care. It's just that sometimes I think it's too late. If I had tried to do it months ago, then I wouldn't feel between a rock and a hard place. There is nothing for me to look forward to. I would like to have never moved here in the first place. That way I would have never seen this girl, and I wouldn't be moving again. You were right when you talked about self-hatred. I do hate myself to death. I have thought about commiting suicide multiple times, but I won't give up that easily.

You said "Well, there is statistically a one-in-four chance that you have a mental illness, but I don't see anything here to suggest that you do". I think that wanting to die has to be related to mental illness. Sometimes I get this violent impulses to cause harm to someone, but I control them. I'm afraid I am more the implosive type of person when it comes to anger. Last year was not pleasant either, but at least I did well academically and never thought about commiting suicide. This year, I still do get good grades, but not as well as I did last year. I feel I could have done much better, but my mind is too troubled to give so much importance to study. I don't know what to do.

...Life. I don't know what to do. First of all, I have to say that I think I have a mental illness. Last year I moved to where I live now, but felt homesick and didn't really try to make new friends. This year has been pure suffering for me. First there was a little bit of nostalgia. Then there is a girl I like a lot, but don't have the courage to speak to. She is the only girl I have ever really liked. To make matters worse, she seems to be angry at me and tries to avoid me because I used to stare at her (I haven't done it anymore). Since I started wanting to have a girlfriend I have met lots of attractive girls, but none make me feel like I feel about this one. I have never had a girlfriend. I have no confidece in myself. I think it is because since I was like 7 years old I have been overweight. When I was about 12 years old, I was very obese and even some of my life-long friends made fun of me. Even my family told me how fat I was all the time. This all is, I think, what obliterated my confidence completely. Now, they say I have lost a lot of weight, but I know I am still overweight. Compliments have no effect in me, because I always end up denying them. Until a couple of months ago I worked out everyday, mainly because I liked this girl. Now, I am moving and still haven't been able to talk to her. I am sure I will never see her again. I have lost all motivation in life. I have nothing to look forward to, and think that it will suck to be 17 (my birthday is in 7 months and I can't picture myself living that long) without a girlfriend (specifically without the girl I like). I would like to tell her that I'm sorry I gave her a wrong impression about myself, but she is never alone (she is always surrounded by other girls). Sometimes I feel like dying. But I will not without putting up a fight first. I know that all my problems are my own fault. That's what makes it all worse, the sense of guilt. I want to see a therapist, because no one in my family has ever gone through what I have gone. No one really understands me (I feel like the black sheep), which is another reason I would like to have a girlfriend. I need someone to talk to. What should I do?

I'm sort of having the same problem too. Except that my case is horrible. I think the girl actually notices me, but she just looks the other way when I pass by her. I also think she is trying to avoid me. I think it is all because she noticed I stared at her. I used to wish so hard she would talk to me, because I am too shy to talk to her. I haven't stared anymore since then. But she still seems to be avoiding me. I only see her occasionally, but never alone. She is always around friends (all of them are girls). I have only seen her talking to guys a couple of times. She maybe has a boyfriend, but either she doesn't want to spend time with him, or he doesn't want to spend time with her. I have only seem her alone sometimes, but I always chickened out. I just felt so unprepared. If I saw her in a regular basis, or at least knew where she hangs out alone, maybe It wouldn't be so hard. It's as if she could read my mind. She only appears when I don't expect her to appear, because when I tell myself "If you see her, you will talk to her", she doesn't appear. And sometimes, I convince myself of trying to talk to her, but chicken out when I see her. I don't have self-confidence either. I have been overweight since I was like 7 years old. When I was 12 I was really obese (even more than what I am right now), so even some of my life-long friends would tease me about the "man-boobs" I had. Even my family always kept telling me how fat I looked. Now, they say I have lost a lot of weight, and that I look like a normal person. I know I am still overweight. That was in my home country. When I moved here to Pennsylvania, I sometimes felt paranoid. I would think that everybody was judging me everywhere I went. Whenever someone tells me a compliment, I find it hard to believe. No girl has ever told me she likes me. I envy those guys that have girls chasing them. I get angry when they don't care about how she feels. I am really shy and quiet and have never had a girlfriend. I feel so bad because I can't talk to her. I really like her, but I am moving and doubt that I will ever see her again. And I think it will suck to be 17 and still no girlfriend (not having her, specifically, as a girlfriend). She is the only girl I have ever liked, even among all the attractive girls I have seen in my life since I started wanting to have a girlfriend. I am not picked on anymore, because nobody even talks to me here, but it's my fault. It's my fault because I am really quiet and can't make new friends. Now that I am moving, I have nothing to look forward to in life. Well, I guess that I am not the guy that could give you advise...

I'm not a bad student, It's just that I'm doing much worse than last year. Last year I made it to Distinguished Honors during all 4 quarters, this year I have only made it to Honors. It's not that bad, because not everbody makes it to that level, but I feel I could do much better. I just lack motivation. What people do you say you have heard talking behind your back? Maybe it's a little bit of paranoia. Last year I felt that way too. I thought that eveywhere I went, everybody was judging me. This year, I don't know why, that hasn't happened. Maybe you are going through that same feeling. You need to find out what makes that "I want to die" message pop in your head. I at least know why I sometimes get that impulse. But believe me, you shouldn't obey it. Besides, you don't want anybody to feel pity for you, lide dpressedone89 said before. If you really care about dying painlessly, then it means that you don''t really want to die. If you did, then you would not care about pain, because you are only going to feel it for a while. If the fact that people are talking behind your back is what makes you feel that way, then you should just not pay any heed to what they say. You are not their gold coin. By that I mean that no one is "supposed" to like you. You should be more careless about what they think about you. We are here because we are here, not because others want us to be here.

Well, I guess you are not that different from me. Are you? What problems do you have? I suggest you go see a therapist, because I will do it too.

Why do you want to die? If there is no real reason, then you should stop thinking like that. There are lots of people that live very unpleasant lives, they are the only ones that could think like that. Even so, most of them do not give up. Even though I am not religious, I ask you: How do you really know if you will arrive at heaven? Believe me, I have many reasons for wanting to die, but I will never give up without a fight. Besides, why do you worry about pain? If you really wanted to die, you wouldn't care about pain. I, for instance, am wishing I could get my parents' permission to join the marines. Even though you are not guaranteed to survive, you are not guaranteed to live either. Well, but I have many problems: I am overweight, I have no self confidence at all, I have problems with a girl, I virtually have no friends, I don't get along with my family anymore, I am doing bad at school, and I simply feel I have nothing to look forward to in life. I can't even picture myself in my next birthday basically because I feel I have wasted my life. I feel so old, even though I am only 16. I will start seeing a therapist for help because I know therapists are the only people that understand what I have gone through. Maybe you should do that too. Well, I hope you can get over this, because I am not willing to go down without putting up a fight.

alright, I think I can do that. Thanks for your advice maggie18.

Alright, I'll do what you say. Today I saw her, and I was decided to talk to her. Then, like always, I chickened out. I don't know what to do. Should I ask one of her friends what she thinks about me? If so, what should I say? I just wish I had more confidence. Any tips for that one too?

Should I do it even if she is among friends? What if she is far? I have seen her a couple of times during lunch from far away. A couple of times she has seen me and I don't know what to do either. I will say hi, it's just that sometimes I see her so randomly that I feel unprepared and I chicken out. I have no confidence left. A couple of year ago I was so proud. I didn't have a girlfriend because I didn't feel this way for anybody. But I believed I could have anyone. Now, I don't. Well, I'll try saying hi and see how it goes. I wouldn't have any problems saying hi. But trying to face her freezes me. I wish I didn't feel like such a coward. I feel stupid.

Well, for background you can see my other post in the Conversational Tips section called "Does She Hate Me?". I also need to add that I am not optimistic and always fear the worst until I am really convinced of the contrary. In my other post I basically described the problems I have trying to talk to a girl. I stared at her, and apparently she got angry. Now, she turns her face when she passes me in the hallways as if wishing I wasn't there. I still am not sure if she really hates me. They told me to say hi, so I can build up my confidence, and I would do that. It's just that I never see her alone or something. Should I do it even if she is with a friend? I don't know what to do. Someone else told me that she might be sensing my anxiety, which is very likely. She is the first girl that has ever made me feel this way. I have seen lots of girls, but I have never felt this type of attraction to anyone. How can I tell if she really does not want me to talk to her? I don't know anybody who could ask her if what she thinks about me, because I know nobody that is really her friend. I sometimes think she avoids me, because she know where I mostly hangout and where I walk to some of my classes. Sometimes she seems to not care that I am close by. What is very strange is that earlier in the year, she used to hang out close to where I was. Now, she almost never goes there. Is it my fault? I am now trying to hang out in other places to see if she goes back (and to see if it is me what made her not want to be there anymore). I try to avoid her just in case she really hates me. I don't feel like trying to talk to her until I know that she doesn't hate me. I really don't understand . I just feel frustrated because I don't know what to do. I know she is in the same classroom for one of my classes, it's just not at the same time. When we are moving to the following class, I have seen her close by standing and waiting for everyone in my class to leave. This has happened a couple of times, and she has looked at me in the eyes. I don't know what to think about this. I feel like a wuss because I don't know what to do when that happens, or when she simply looks at me. I can't even look back because I think I am too shy. I feel like a looser. I would like to know if she hates me, because What if she does and I try to talk to her? She would probably react aggressively. That is basically why I avoid her. Because if I do, I keep my neutral position. What should I do? I need help quickly.

Well, I would be willing to listen to the sort of girl AnotherChick is talking about. It's just a matter of how she would say things. If her tone was like some sort of dictator that wants to have her way by blackmailing you, I wouldn't be able to handle that. She would have to find someone who is willing to behave like her mindless slave. But if she was kind and just made herself be heard in a humble way (humility is a great trait also), then I would be 100% willing to comply. By that I mean that she could negotiate and not just behave like a tyrant. Total domination should not be had by either the man or the woman. It is like Confucianism. You should treat the others the way you expect them to treat you. If she want to be so dominant, then she shouldn't even find a guy. She could just find a mannequin. That way, she could decide even the way "it" walks. Well, that is just what I think.

even though I am little young to talk about a wife, I would like to have a girlfriend. One that could last with me for the longest time possible. I would like her to be comprehensive, loyal, smart, and someone you can talk to about anything regarding feelings. If she thinks something is sort of not working out, she should be able to "negotiate" about it instead of just getting rid of you in an instant. She must be someone who is willing to spend a lot of time with you. That is because you want to get to know her. The mind is really complex, and by just meeting once a week, you could never be able to understand it. There should never be an excuse for not meeting at least for a little while every day. Some people may think that it's not possible and that they would run out of topics for conversation, but that is not true. People can always have different feelings. You could talk about how you are feeling in that moment, or about how your day went. It is just what I believe is right, if someone doesn't agree with me, just post your opinion.

What should I do? I know where she sometimes hangs out in the moring before our first class. The problem is that, besides this being sometimes and not always, she is always waiting for her friends to come to her. Should I try to talk to her just before her friends arrive? I would like to tell her that I am sorry for staring and I would ask her her email address and phone #. That is if I don't chicken out again. I feel like a disgrace. I used to be very proud. Now, I have no confidence left in me. What should I do?

Well, I really don't know how to judge if she is discreet. I don't stare at her anymore, and I guess she would have noticed by now. I don't think she is shy. I think that in the best case, she is waiting for me to talk to her. I the worst and most probable case, she mispercieved who I am and thinks I am a pervert, or a creep. She seems to be kind, and she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She is an angel. I don't really know. I know too little about girls, especially americans. I hardly consider that girl just a piece of meat. If something, I would consider myself a wasted life. Waste sent directly from God's garbage dump. It feels as if the few things I have accomplished are meaningless. I wish I had someone to share my intimate feelings with. I specifically wish it was that girl... The first one that has ever made my world change so much. And I don't want all that change to be wasted.

Thanks for your advice, Miles. But I still don't think I can pull that off. Everytime I see that girl, she is either surrounded by friends (I almost never see her talking to guys), and when we come face to face, she looks into my eyes and I have no idea of what to do. I don't think she hangs out at any specific place, so I can't just find her and talk to her. Everytime I see her it is so random, and I feel unprepared. I really think she is unique, and she is actually the first person that has made me feel this way. I like her a lot and would like to get to know her so maybe she can remember me. I'll try saying Hi, which is not that hard (as long as she doesn't see me as a weirdo/creep)... What I would find hard is asking her email address and phone #. And asking her out would be even harder. I don't know how to stop being shy. I have never had a girlfriend, so I wouldn't be able to give advice to anyone in this site about the matter. What should I do?

those 3 drinks would be what specifically? Beer, wine, rum? I am curious about wine specifically. Do you think you could tell me how much wine that person could drink and just have the effects I said before?

I know that alcohol is a depressant. I just want to know how many glasses of wine could a person who is 6'2" and 225lbs and has some food in his stomach, be able to drink without getting drunk, but still feel some of the effects such as feeling relaxed etc.

Unfortunately, I gotta say I am the same. I am not American and lived in my home country until 8th grade. Up to that year I felt like a pretty normal kid. I had all these friends. I moved to Pennsylvania, and haven't been able to make new friends since. I guess that I used to have friends because they were old friends and we grew up together. They understood who I was. Well, my story, like any other story, also has to do with a girl. I am just too goddamned shy to ask her out. I have never had a girlfriend. There is a girl I like, but I think she hates me because I stared at her, which is hilarious because she doesn't even know me! She maybe noticed that I get a little anxious about her, and thinks it is her fault, and that's why she avoids me. Or maybe she just hates me to death. I also have wished to never wake up again. And sometimes I don't want to participate in class because I have a funny accent (I am a foreigner). Man, I only hate one thing in this world, and it is myself. Now, I am going to move again, and I guess I'll have to kiss the few hard-earned acquaintances I have here goodbye. The worst part is that I'm too goddamned stubborn and resilient to commit suicide. I always believe there is still hope, but now I think I have a mental illness. I can go from an extreme depression, to a hopeful mood in seconds. I always tell myself "This is the day you will ask her out, the first day of the rest of your day" but still end up in the same place. My parents get pissed off at me because I can't enjoy life. They alway say that I will end up getting sick, but I think to myself "I wish it is quick and painless". I am also petrified when a lot of people look at me at once, or when someone stares at me. It almost makes me get a seizure (it makes me shake). Especially when she looks at me. A few people have told me I am handsome, but I see myself very unattractive. Others have also told me I am smart, but I think I am hardworking, because not being able to ask a girl out is not smart at all. Also, I used to be really religious, but after I started feeling abnormal, and my life started being a living hell, I guess that Heaven doesn't exist, Only Hell does, and it is where I am right now.

Best wishes to you, and I hope you can bounce back from this one.

I have a problem. I am 16 years old and go to high school. I don't consider myself handsome at all; I am not very talkative except with my old friends. I am in 10th grade. I am not American, but I have been living in Pennsylvania for 2 years. I am shy about the girls I like (not all girls, but specifically the ones I like). Last year, there was a girl in one of my classes. I liked her, but we never got to know each other. This year, I have seen her occasionally, and couldn't help but stare(I feel like a jerk), and she noticed. Now I think she is angry at me. Everytime I walk past her in the hallways, she looks the other way and changes her face to an expression that at I perceive as if she wished I wasn't there. What's worse, she doesn't just act strange, I think she actually hates me. That is at least what I think. O.K., so I stopped staring at her, but steel felt the same about her. I think she tried to avoid me, so now I am trying to avoid her, seeing how much she hates when I walk past her. I know she has a boyfriend (or at least had one a couple of months ago) because I saw her in the school's TV news program dancing with a guy. After that, my feelings for her became less strong. But, recently, I have felt the urge to talk and get to know her. Right now, I just know her name, but I have observed how she behaves. It may not sound like enough, but at least it is more than nothing. Well, it is almost May, and school is over in June. I am moving to a state far away and know that I will never see her again. What should I do? Should I tell her how I feel about her? If so, how? I wouldn't feel comfortable walking up to her to tell her, because I would look like an idiot (she makes my heart pound and almost makes me shake). I have never felt such a strong feeling for anybody. I really feel she is special; it is just that she misperceived who I am. Sometimes she looks at me in the eyes (unfortunately, I think it is accidentally) but I don't know what to do. When that happens, I can't stop thinking about her, but try not to obsess about her. I could get her phone number, and maybe her email, but I am afraid that could make me look like a stalker. I would like to at least apologize for making her feel uncomfortable? What should I do? Please help as fast as you can, because I feel as if I am running out of time. I want to know what to do before this week is over, because when this week is gone, it is one more week of classes/opportunities gone.