Stinkweed

But honestly, everybody, in some way or another, has their own method of therapy. For some people, it's gardening, running, or writing. For others, it's a good conversation with a friend. And for those whose friends can't relate to them, it's going to someone who has studied and knows exactly what you are going through - like a trained professional.

Hey i_hate_the_world47. I think Kali71 is absolutely right. Since you say you don't like therapies, then I suggest you do that (Some people are therapy people, and some simply aren't). But always have in your mind that you've got to get through it no matter what others think or say.

i dont want to see a thewrapist or go to counceling because then poeple will think i am a psycho.

No, no, no, no! Don't think like that. Cutting is like a disease. Would people think you're psycho if you had the flu? If that was the case, would you rather be a dead psycho than a live psycho (believe me, a live one can make people stop seeing him or her as a psycho when he's cured, while the dead one will never be cured...)? C'mon, don't worry so much about what people think. Besides, if you choose life, think of life 5 years from now. If you got the help you needed, it will definitively be better, and most people will even forget that you once cut. Don't look at what you're living right now as the big picture, because the present world soon disappears and lets the future take its place. You're screaming but noone can hear you? Well, I guarantee a good therapist will definitively listen to those cries for help. You just need to be patient with him, and stick to what he tells you, and of course, believe in yourself, because you can overcome it all. You took the first step identifying the problem and accepting that something was terribly wrong. Now take the second step by trying to fix the problem...

And if u looked at me you would never think i was that down but i never show it until i am alone.

I perfectly know what you mean. But in your case, loosing an uncle was a very big impact on your life. If I were you, I would try to seek professional help, b/c it's not really your fault. You say that it's getting out of hand, and that's because you're getting used to it and becoming an "addict". And addiction to cutting, just like addiction to drugs, requires professional help. I don't know if at your age it's that easy to keep the fact that you're looking for professional help a secret. So, I would suggest you that you just shouldn't care about what they think if they find out you're cutting. You need help, and cutting jeopardizes your health. What do you think would happen if they found out, besides worrying? Do you think they will see you as a fool? Well, then think about this: I bet you'd rather be a live fool than a dead fool...

Well, I don't know much about your case, but I do believe you need professional help... I mean, it does seem like it, because you mentioned it started on account of a family tragedy. Well, whatever you decide to do, I hope it's for the better. But your cutting definitively has to stop.

Very good. It really expresses very deep feelings. I don't think I could write that good ever. Your sister receives my standing ovation.

Oh, sorry for not updating. Well, the truth is that I don't care as much anymore. Well, I did IM her, and she was very cool about it, but she is too weird. I mean, she has done some weird stuff, and I was very confused. Now I am less confused, but still confused, though. I mean, she is cool about me talking to her, but she gave my sn to a friend of hers (Yesterday, though, I got the impression it could have been someone else that gave her my sn). This friend acted very flirty in the beginning. But I think everything is becoming more "normal" now. Well, like I said before, I don't care as much anymore, it's just that I'm curious about her "weirdness".

Damn, you're moving? Same thing happened to me, except that I already moved and I never got to ask the girl out. My suggestion is, even though some people will say you should just forget her, go ahead and do it. I think your date plan is good, even though I am not an expert in the field. Good luck.

Man just cut her lose and accept your loss. You're killing yourself over this girl. Just learn from your mistake and move forward b/c you kinda of sound like a broken record. Sorry to be harsh but I don't want you to end up like me. A freaking punk loser at 23 who can't a get a female. Cut your losses, go to the gym and work out, and by the time you get to college the dang shallow women will be falling at your feet.

Ok. Relax, I've got it anyway. Thanks for your Big help.

Alright. I'll IM her as soon as I see she is online (I hope it is tonight). I hope she doesn't go upset, or something. Wish me luck.

I think that what he wants to know is how much time he should wait to call a girl who gave him her number, not how long he should wait for her to call him. Well, I just know you shouldn't wait neither 2 months, nor 2 hours. The exact time.... I don't know. But maybe someone else knows that

Hi everyone. So, what do you think I should do? what would be better, to IM her (I can do that already), phone her (I can also do that already), or to email her (I still need her actual email address to do it)? Alright, here's a couple of pros and cons for each:

email: Will create less of an impact, but she may ignore me when she sees a strange email address (or the same email address I gave her IF she remembers, or has the letter) and is unexpected.

IM: I can do it already, but will probably create more of an impact and is very unexpected and may ignore me too.

Phone: I can do it already, more direct, but will definitively create much more of an impact, and is very unexpected.

Well, I guess I'll take my chances with IM'ing her. But it will have to be tomorrow, though. I hope she doesn't get upset, or something.

Alright, what should I do? Please, tell me. What would be better to do? IM her, phone her, or email her? What if I just wait? Could she just be getting over the feelings I tried to communicate through the letter? Or does she not want to ever hear anything from me again? What if I just need to wait, and I ruin it by rushing? What should I do? Please, I'm more and more confused... Help! I guess I'll have to take my chances IM'ing her. I hope she doesn't get upset...

P.S. Sorry I posted 2 times today, but I need to know...

I got her SN, but not her actual email. I also found out her phone #. But I don't want to freak her out. There has got to be something I can do. If I email her, she will probably ignore me. If I phone her, she will probably freak out more. Man, I screwed up with the letter. I dug my own grave with it, and now there has got to be something I can do to get out. Well, I'll try to ask my friend which one is more like to be her reaction if I called her, or IM'ed her, and of course, which one he thinks will be better for not freaking her out even more. It would definitively not be so weird if I hadn't given her the letter. What can I do, then?

I really really want to follow your advice. But with the letter I created a scenario in which I don't know if suddenly calling her will be a good idea. Please, there has to be something I can do. I wish I could get her email from her, so she knows that I'm going to contact her. But there's no way, b/c I won't see her again. So, is AIM a good idea? I only have her screen name, but I will also try to find out her actual email address. And I found out her phone # in the student directory. But I don't know what to do. Please, at least give me an idea of how to not freak her out even more (more likely to be more of an "impact" over the phone), and so that she won't ignore me (which is less likely to happen over the phone). I will also ask my friend which one he thinks is better, and which one she will think is less "freaky", because he know her better. But still, I have no idea of which one is the best option.

Just so everybody knows, I just got her SN. They didn't give me her email, but don't worry, I can get it (it must be similar). But still, I'm kind of hesitating about doing it. I don't want to further freak her out and intimidate her. So, what should I do?

Well, actually she wouldn't know it. For her it would just be my friend and some of his friends asking her to hang out with her. And I'm not saying I will just sit. I actually keep posting to find a solution. I know she will not ask me out. I don't want to wuss out. But I don't want to hurry into something that may further screw my chances up. If only there was more time. It's my fault, I know. But I wish I could still see her at school, or something. Alright, I'll consider talking to her on the phone. But it's just that I'm afraid it will freak her out further, and make her feel "Under Pressure". I'm not that kind of person. But I do feel kind of under pressure myself b/c I want to do something. I need to get more information on her before I call her. I don't know... She seems like she would understand, but still... I want to make sure she won't just freak out and call me a stalker. I don't want to rush too much into it. I feel a little more "cooled down" now. But still, I do know time runs out. So, what do you people suggest I do?

It is pretty difficult. I don't want to call her. Not because I don't know what to say, or b/c I'll get nervous. But b/c she already has a bad impression about me, and is freaked out, and is not expecting a call from me. Look, I'm almost sure she would like me if she got to know me (a lot of people in this school like the type of person I am). That is because I wouldn't hurt anybody and I mind other's feelings, and a lot of people think I'm a cool kid (just reserved, and kind of quiet and shy). But right now, she probably doesn't know that (unless she felt it through what I wrote). I don't know what to do now. I am very very tempted to call her #, but I don't want to ruin my chances further. On the other hand, an email could have the exact same effects. Or she could just ignore it, and I would always be wondering whatever happened to it. Please, if only I had an answer.

P.S. I gave her the letter exactly a week ago.

Man, I already freaked her out with the letter. Maybe your advice found on that site works miracles for others, but not for me. She is not expecting me to call. I don't know what to do. My only chance is organizing something social with her included, but I don't even know if that's possible in what time I have left. If she sees an email from a weird address, or from the address I gave her (that is IF she still has the stupid letter), she will probably delete it. Ok... Damn it! Now I'm more confused. Why do some people say it's better to phone her, and others say it's better to email. Geez, I am getting more confused now. You know what? You are right. She will probably ignore my email. But you also know what? She will freak out when she gets a call from such an unexpected person. Now I'm more confused... What should I do?

Can depression not be related to a chemical inbalance in the brain cells? Can it be related to adolescence, or just things that happen? And if it is, can it be "cured" after those bad things happen, and things start to look better?

That's great! Thanks.

And about introductions, what would be the best way to do it on email?

What would you suggest I write to her? I mean, besides telling herthat I didn't want to scare or offend her. What else do you think I should write?

Besides mentioning the letter, and the fact that I didn't want to scare her, or offend her, what else should I write in an email to her?

It made perfect sense, thanks. I'll also try to organize a social gathering with my friend, and we'll include her. But even if I can't, I am guaranteed to get her email. Thanks.

I'll try to get my friend to organize something with some of his other friends so we can all hang out, and she will be included. But if I can't do that, what should I do?