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Thread: Can my relationship survive my infidelity?

  1. #1
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    Mar 2003
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    Can my relationship survive my infidelity?

    My partner and I have been in a "committed" relationship for 3 1/2 years. However, I have not always been monogamous. He has caught me twice attempting to hook up with other guys in the internet but thanks to his love for me and my promises never to do it again, he has forgiven me each time. One month after the last indiscretion, I slept with another guy and my partner found out. That for him was the last straw and he asked me to leave. Even though he admits to still loving me, he says that he does not want to spend the rest of his life with a cheat and says he no longer trusts me.

    I am at a loss as to understand why I continue to let these meaningless sexual escapades jeopardise what has trully been the happiest relationship of my life and hurt the sweetest, most loving guy in the world. I do not want to become a "ho" and I so much want to save this relationship but is it too late? Is this a case of 3 strikes you are out"? How can I regain my man's trust and how can I put this behaviour behind me?

  2. #2
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    Feb 2003
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    Maybe if you're in that promiscuous mindframe, you don't really want to be in a monogamous relationship. I suppose it is not that big a deal (you don't have to be monogamous) but if you know that is the case, you should make that apparent to your partner. Open relationships are possible and do exist, but they have to be agreed upon by everyone involved. If your partner expects that the relationship be an exclusive one, then they deserve at least that much.

    I personally believe that cheating is an act of betrayal and cannot be mended. However, if your partner has forgiven you in the past, then hopefully there really is something substantial in your relationship that is worthy of his patience. I think you should only try to mend things again and ask for his forgiveness this time around if you can honestly and confidently promise him and yourself that you will remain faithful to him in the future. If you know somehow that will always have that streak in you to stray, I hope you can be considerate of him (someone you love) enough to not put him through that pain and betrayal again.

  3. #3
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    Jan 2003
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    1,182
    Wow, simulacra!! You're good. Nothing mor I can add to that. Gayblkguy, I wish you luck. Communication leads to a better understanding, but don't forget that the only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If you don't feel happy in a monogamous relationship, then it might be a good idea to acknowledge those feelings and accept them as they are.

    I hope that this helped you a little more and I wish you good luck

    ~ SwingFox ~

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