Back to Square one, help my nightmare

Well from the day that we split ive generally been getting better a bit day by day until today. I found out today that she was seeing this other fella from the start of december right up until we finshed. She is now in a serious relationship with him. How the helll can anyone do this??? Its just sent me back to square one, i cant think, i cant eat, this is really tearing me apart and too be honest its scaring me.

I was used, treated like crap, and badly hurt. I always treat a woman well. In fact I always kept to my own rule "Treat other women the way I would like a man to treat my sister".

My mates were around today chatting with me just saying forget about that lying tramp, she's bad news, you are better off without her. I know that now, but it still hurts. I cant function at all.

You know, i was just trying to get over it the first week, then i got the slap in the face a week later hearing that she has met someone else so soon, and then now another week later i find out she was cheating on me and using me. Every week theres always another slap in the face.

I feel im rambling on her. Truth is my head is all over the place right now.

Any advice/help will be greatly appreciated.

Tony, 27,Ireland

here's my story. my gf who i cared so much for dumped after christmas. after i got her a puppy. anyways, i go by the same rule you do. the one about treating a girl well. not even a week went by before she started going back out with this ass. prior to our relationship she went out with him for 9 months. the whole time he treated her like crap. and to see her go running back to him. it killed me. i mean it, i was right there wacthcing her literally run him down. he wasn't paying any attention to her as usual, but she ran him down just to give him a note. earlier when we were still together, i noticed she didn't want to be around me much anymore. and that she had took interest in him again. but trust me you've got to move on. if you show that you can have other girls it will piss her off so bad. and eventually she'll come back.

oh, by the way i would consider myself lucky to have had a week to clear my head about it.

i didn't get a slap in the face, i got a boot to the mouth!

webhead60

Guys, your problems sound almost identical to mine. I've heard the whole 'I still love you and care for you' bullshit too. If they love and care for us so much, why did they sleep with someone else, knowing full well that it would be worst thing they could do to us?

Anyway, with regards to the healing process. Here is what I have found works a treat:

1. Make plans with your buddies, plan as many weekends as you can - go way on holiday, spend some money (that's what it's there for)

2. Look up old friends that you lost contact with when you started seeing this girl (everyone has them - just think back)

3. Make sure you have something to do when you get in from work - a hobby, prefereably sport. Doing exersize makes you feel a lot better.

4. It may be difficult (I found this very hard) but try and keep eating well, even though you don't have an appetite - you need to eat!

5. Do not go out 'on the pull'. If you look to get another girl and you are blown out, it will make you feel worse - just go out and have FUN!

6. Treat yourself. Go shopping for new clothes. I went out and spent 200 pounds on a leather jacket for the weekend, made me feel like a million dollars.

7. Either hide or destroy any reminders that you have of this girl. Photos, clothes, cards, letters, even presents she bought you (I threw away my starwars trilogy because the bitch bought it for me - now that's extreme!) Make a ritual of it. Spend a night and get really mad, even break stuff of hers (as long as you are sure she won't want it back). During this healing process, you don't want to find anything that will remind you of her.

8. DO NOT BE ALONE! Always try and be with family or friends at all times. When you are alone your mind wanders, inevitably to her.

I am almost in week 4 and feeling a whole lot better. I hope you all do too. Just remember, this stuff may hurt like hell but it makes us stronger.

Hey guys,

I am sorry what you all have been going through. It must be really hard for you. Mikey, you had quite some good ideas to go by. Thank you for sharing them and thank you for posting them on here. I am sure they will help a few of us. You did well and it pleases me to hear that you're doing better.

Remember that time will heal all wounds. Your feelings of hurt don't go away overnight, but eventually they will go. I wish you all good luck with your healing process...

~ SwingFox ~