is she just using a defensive mechanism?

so I have been with this woman for almost 3 months. We mostly see each other just on the weekends and she just can never wait to see me. The last weekend we spent together, I could tell I was a little off. Kinda like neglected her some what. She packed her bags and said she was leaving and did not even want me to help her carry the bags to her car which I still did. She hugs me then was walking away so I started walking away to then she said oh give me a kiss. So the next day, she had told me she was taking the week to meditate and I should only contact if it was an emergency to which I said I'll just give her the space to enjoy her meditation. Then told her we will need to talk after. She insisted we talk right away. So I told her I wanted to give her some money for an air conditioner she had given me, to which she kinda got annoyed I was trying to pay for it. Then I also told her I was feeling funny and did not know why or what is happening to me. Asked her if she noticed during the weekend we were together and she says it felt like we were friends. I asked how long had she had that feeling and she said just that weekend even tho later in the conversation she claims for a couple of weeks now. The only thing different about the weekend was we didn't have sex. From there tell me she is just being honest when she says she is not falling in love with me but I see the complete opposite when she's around me. I tell her we need to work on what ever it is and she says no she doesn't . Tell me she needs more time to work on her business and just be able to do what she wants. Mind u I give her same freedom all the time. She accused me of being angry if she didn't respond in time, I asked her if I have ever showed sign of anger towards her for not responding and she said no. Gradually towards the end of the conversation her tone now changes to after her meditation we will see what happens. In like a question form asks me, talk to you next week?

 

What do you think is the issue here? Will love some tips of what and what not to do lol

I think you two are not a good match at all.

 

You both need to do some reflection. She's inconsistent with how she feels and what she says, and you are confused and uninterested in a real commitment to make it work. You guys just need to be honest with yourselves and each other - be real.

You talk about her being off for one weekend... doesn't sound like major trouble.

 

What to do: be kind, have patience with her, listen to how she feels, let your love for her guide your actions.

What not to do: over-react, try to fix it for her, let your fear guide your actions.

 

And perhaps do some meditation yourself as you seem a bit anxious :)

I'm not at all confused. I know I like her and she just goes crazy mid week if she hasn't seen me. This Is like the first time we have had this situation. I think me saying we needed to talk triggered something?

My oh my. Did u hit the nail right on point. Maybe I'm just being a guy when I say I think she was just angry. The first time I ever told her we needed to talk, she freaked out and said she thought I was going to dump her

Okay. She's probably exhibiting some Passive aggression then.

 

Why is it that you guys can't see each other midweek? Is it long distance?

But why will she be talking of a break up? We live about 1 hour 30 minutes from each other and have full time jobs. Coz call me a big head, I think she is scared of the idea of loving me. She always will tell me she sees girls looking at me when I don't even notice

I think she is scared of the idea of loving me. She always will tell me she sees girls looking at me when I don't even notice

 

Then wouldn't it be nice if the object of her affections was kind, compassionate and didn't give her any reason to worry.

Then wouldn't it be nice if the object of her affections was kind, compassionate and didn't give her any reason to worry.

And I do just that. I give her all the space she needs and support her every course. She will make plans with her friend tells me about it. I say that's fine and she will say I'm or sound mad. She also says maybe she feels that way coz she works alot

Maybe instead of saying that's fine, say "Sounds fun!" When you say "That's fine" to someone telling you they are going to an event, it seems like you are giving them permission.

 

I also think she wants to see you before the weekend hits but there's some inability to accommodate. Have you guys talked about meeting up before weekend for dinner or movie?

 

This meditation break she wants is probably to have space to herself to see if you both are compatible enough for her to stick around.

Maybe instead of saying that's fine, say "Sounds fun!" When you say "That's fine" to someone telling you they are going to an event, it seems like you are giving them permission.

 

I also think she wants to see you before the weekend hits but there's some inability to accommodate. Have you guys talked about meeting up before weekend for dinner or movie?

 

This meditation break she wants is probably to have space to herself to see if you both are compatible enough for her to stick around.

I see ur point and why she might look at it that way. To me I'm just being supportive of her plans to hang out with her friend. She even said she thinks I'm mad when she doesn't reply on time. Mind u, when I get to work at 8am, I don't touch my phone till 5pm when I get of. So clearly no reason for me to be mad coz I'm not even on my phone. She kinda throw it in there that maybe she feels that way coz she works alot. And always says she thinks she neglects me since she works so much even though I have never complained. Not to lie, I like my space at times too. She told me about the meditation before this whole thing happened. I just believe if I had never said we needed to talk, all would have just been fine still