Regarding my crush

Hi.

I had my eyes on this girl for quite some time. She’s absolutely gorgeous- yet quirky and adorable.

She’s musical and bright, witty and humorous.

I love her, yet she’s told me about her male crushes, each time breaking and tearing my heart.

But I can’t stop loving her, she writes me lovely messages and gets me equally as amazing presents. I just really want to hug her and treasure her innocence.

But the problem is I’m also female.

I’m also not attractive, nor as innocent and bubbly as she. I’m bland and ugly. It’s really disappointing to have such an awesome crush and then being an immense downgrade in human form. I also don’t know if she’s lesbian. Which sucks.

And I also can’t just date her either, my friends would turn their backs on me for being lesbian, or as so I believe.

Help pleaseeee. I need advice

Dear QuiteOften,

I know what it feels like to have a crush that will never be able to be yours, it really sucks.

I wouldn’t immediately assume your friends would turn their backs on you for being lesbian. And even if they do and judge you over something so stupid, I promise that they are not worth your time.

As to your crush I can tell she means a whole lot to you. One thing you have to watch out for is over-glorifying her. She may seem like the absolute best thing in the world to you, but the truth is she’s just a normal human being like you and me, flaws and all. I’m not saying you should start pointing about all of the undesirable qualities about her, but it helps to think of her less as some amazing ‘higher being’ and more of your average human with a few likeable qualities.

It may also help if you start distancing yourself from her just a bit. Constantly spending time with someone you have feelings for only makes it worse, and it always ends up with the love-sick person confessing their feelings without any sort of self control. Trust me, that never really ends well.

Also one more thing: Learn to love yourself first before loving another. One can never go into a healthy relationship without appreciating themselves and their self worth first. And comparing yourself to someone you love is never ever a good idea. I’m sure you have so many amazing qualities about yourself you don’t even realize. Just from this I can tell you are a very caring and observant person, and that’s something you should be grateful for. Keep your chin held high and carry on girl, and know that no matter what ends up happening, you’ll be okay. -M