What are the ingredients for moving on?

Bottom line: I know healing is only gonna come with time...

I want to know how other users successfully moved on! Gimme your advice, I could use it.

1. Unfollow on social media

2. NC obviously

3. Be with friends and family as much as possible

4. Find old/new hobbies

5. When you're ready start dating again (casually)

That's what I've been doing since my breakup 2 months ago. My ex still reaches out from time to time (like in my recent post this evening) but I know I'm better off NOT being with her

There are two things everyone has to deal with post-breakup: empty space in your heart and empty space in your life. The hours you used to spend with your significant other are now freed up. The way you choose to fill them makes all the difference. Throw yourself into your work. Find a new hobby or resurrect an old one. Read books, write in a journal, start a blog, join a club, start working out, do something, anything with those hours but try not to be alone and bored, because that's when the pain will find you.

In the early stages of a breakup, your heart is going to yearn for the love you've lost. You'll move through the stages of grief, from anger to bargaining to depression, but eventually the upward turn will come. Time is an essential ingredient in the healing process, but time can't do everything. Your thoughts and choices will influence the speed at which you heal and the completeness of it.

No contact is your best option by far. Each interaction will reopen old wounds. It's going to hurt for a while, but you'll come out of this stronger than you went into it. Your sadness won't last forever. There is a light at the end of this tunnel.

This is how I've experienced it..........."In the early stages of a breakup, your heart is going to yearn for the love you've lost. You'll move through the stages of grief, from anger to bargaining to depression, but eventually the upward turn will come." I believe the upward turn is coming.

I wanted to further elaborate from my original post OP.

I originally thought you were looking for different items to help get you through the breakup (I am currently dealing with a breakup with a coworker from 2 months ago).

The first thing I will say, IT WILL GET BETTER! I'm not sure of the details of your breakup but I am going under the assumption this is someone who you don't have to see everyday. Keeping space/distance is the best thing you can do. If you don't continuously try to reach out to or stalk them through social media that will help you tremendously!

The first week or so I could barely eat because I was so broken up about it. If you have gone through that, don't worry that is unfortunately part of the process. If you feel like you need to cry, do it! Just let it out. You might even have the urge to text or write to them. DONT DO THIS! I wanted to do it so badly a few weeks following but instead I wrote a couple of letters but instead of sending it I just tore it up and threw it in the trash. It is a helpful process to be honest. You will realize the more letters you write, the less passionate your thoughts will be. You will realize that while you miss him/her you start to realize maybe not as much as you think.

If you continue to go NC I guarantee they will reach out to you at some point. If you feel like you are ready to talk to them, feel free to do it. If not, either ignore their message or depending on your situation, tell them you think you two still need space before talking. He/she should respect your wishes and will have some new found respect for you. When you do re-connect, try to keep things upbeat and light. If they bring up the breakup, tell them you are fine with their decision to end the relationship.

Sorry I'm sleep deprived and trying to let out all the things that I have gone through the past few months. The best piece of advice I got after the break up was from my parents saying don't contact them! It is tough, but you will be stronger for doing so.

Over time, they might come to their senses and realize all that they miss you. Not saying that will always happen though, but it's the best route for that possible outcome.

I wanted to further elaborate from my original post OP.

 

I originally thought you were looking for different items to help get you through the breakup (I am currently dealing with a breakup with a coworker from 2 months ago).

 

The first thing I will say, IT WILL GET BETTER! I'm not sure of the details of your breakup but I am going under the assumption this is someone who you don't have to see everyday. Keeping space/distance is the best thing you can do. If you don't continuously try to reach out to or stalk them through social media that will help you tremendously!

 

The first week or so I could barely eat because I was so broken up about it. If you have gone through that, don't worry that is unfortunately part of the process. If you feel like you need to cry, do it! Just let it out. You might even have the urge to text or write to them. DONT DO THIS! I wanted to do it so badly a few weeks following but instead I wrote a couple of letters but instead of sending it I just tore it up and threw it in the trash. It is a helpful process to be honest. You will realize the more letters you write, the less passionate your thoughts will be. You will realize that while you miss him/her you start to realize maybe not as much as you think.

 

If you continue to go NC I guarantee they will reach out to you at some point. If you feel like you are ready to talk to them, feel free to do it. If not, either ignore their message or depending on your situation, tell them you think you two still need space before talking. He/she should respect your wishes and will have some new found respect for you. When you do re-connect, try to keep things upbeat and light. If they bring up the breakup, tell them you are fine with their decision to end the relationship.

 

Sorry I'm sleep deprived and trying to let out all the things that I have gone through the past few months. The best piece of advice I got after the break up was from my parents saying don't contact them! It is tough, but you will be stronger for doing so.

 

Over time, they might come to their senses and realize all that they miss you. Not saying that will always happen though, but it's the best route for that possible outcome.

Thank you, mgsportsfan252! I know that NC is the only way to go. I haven't contacted him or looked at his social media in 15 days. It has been tough. But the sad moments are becoming fewer and far between.

Honestly, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I'll end up with who I'm supposed to end up with. It sucks that I still want to be with him... but I know I'll eventually get over that. And HE broke up with me, so I'm trying to focus on myself and not waste time thinking about him, but I do blame myself for how our relationship deteriorated at times. Still, I really only want to be with someone who WANTS to be with me. And it's obvious that he doesn't right now (and may never again).

SOOOO I'm trying my best to move on! Thanks for your post.. it seriously put me in better spirits because I know it's the ONLY way to get better. I also found a picture of him a few minutes ago so that sucks lol.

But again, thanks!

Thank you, mgsportsfan252! I know that NC is the only way to go. I haven't contacted him or looked at his social media in 15 days. It has been tough. But the sad moments are becoming fewer and far between.

 

Honestly, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I'll end up with who I'm supposed to end up with. It sucks that I still want to be with him... but I know I'll eventually get over that. And HE broke up with me, so I'm trying to focus on myself and not waste time thinking about him, but I do blame myself for how our relationship deteriorated at times. Still, I really only want to be with someone who WANTS to be with me. And it's obvious that he doesn't right now (and may never again).

 

SOOOO I'm trying my best to move on! Thanks for your post.. it seriously put me in better spirits because I know it's the ONLY way to get better. I also found a picture of him a few minutes ago so that sucks lol.

 

But again, thanks!

Glad to hear! And I won't lie to you, there will still be times you will think about or miss your boyfriend. Also, at some point he most likely will reach out to you. Hopefully he will be genuine and not be reaching out for his own personal fulfillment or ego. I unfortunately am currently dealing with my ex (who works in the same office as me so I see her everyday) who is trying to play games with me (vague texts of past photos and heart emojis, but when i ask her if she has something to say she backs off). It has helped me understand what everyone around me has said, I deserve better and she isn't that special to treat me like this.

What I'm trying to say is, if he does reach out to you only respond if you feel like you are ready to. If you aren't ready, he should be understanding and respect your space. And when you are ready, just be confident and respectful but if he tries to string you along with mixed signals(I don't know this guy so I am hoping he isn't the manipulative/attention needing type) then do not engage with that type of behavior.

I do wish you luck because I know the feeling and how taxing it can be. But soon enough you will be back on your feet and will meet the right person for you.

I am sure there is more for me to learn during this process so I will be sure to share if/when that happens. Again, best of luck and things will get better!