Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Shy guy & shy girl

  1. #1
    Sunshin3
    Member Sunshin3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    33
    Gender
    Female

    Shy guy & shy girl

    I've been seeing this really great guy for a while now, we've been talking for about a year and started getting closer 6 months ago.
    We have the intention to date but its nothing serious yet (we've both been hurt in previous relationships, taking things "slow"). The thing is, were both super shy. Him worse than me, so I find myself constantly trying to get him to talk.

    I'm pretty traditional when it comes to guys making the first move, but at this point it feels like kissing or anything for that matter is never going to happen because hes so shy.

    Anyone been in this situation before? Tips on how to get him to loosen up?

  2. #2
    DoGGYtREAts
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    273
    Well if you wana persue it, you may have to face facts that some times your going to have to initiate things. It sounds like you two are already fairly close, So i don't think you really need to be afraid of anything "going wrong" if you were to just make a move and kiss him already, lol.

    Im speaking from his perspective here, As i was like him, To the extreme. I was never comfortable enough to initiate anything with my first girlfriend until one day she practicaly grabbed me, and for lack of a better way of describing it.. stuck her toung in my mouth.. LOL

    I really don't Know what his actual fears are that make him shy, so I cant say it wise to be THAT aggressive about it. My hang up was the age old fears of "messing it up". I had real confidence issues in my youth and couldnt believe SHE wanted anything to do with me, and it took her going that far to convince me. I have come a considerable way since then, but still far from "out-going"; But i can tell you this knowing what I know having Been just like him- He is never going to make the first move at this stage. However.. With time and presistence, If he really is infact Into you, He will sooner or later become 110% comfortable and then finally start to fully open up

  3. #3
    TwelveThirty
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    380
    The problem is in yourself. Has he done anything wrong? All in all, you're the better placed to initiate... or if you won't, and you'd rather have someone who will do it for you, just move on, then. It's all part of the change of getting into a relationship.

    Aside from my point of view, I also have tips on how to initiate. If you're willing to know more, you can message me.

  4. #4
    TwelveThirty
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    380
    Thank you so much for being different and asking. I'm going to explain you the way I believe is best to help yourself and him to feel more comfortable and to let kissing come naturally.

    To initiate kissing is a gradual step that requires no immense effort at all, compared to go straight to kissing. It's mostly because of our own culture and psychology that it seems so difficult to initiate kissing, or rather, that it should feel natural to go straight to kissing, and that this is the first step to lead to having sex. It's unfortunately an illusion that's easy to disrupt once we know.

    Say, you want to have sex with someone. The reason why you don't comfortable with the idea of having sex with a stranger with no other form of preparation is because you don't feel the connection. This connection can take time, but most importantly, it has many graduations before it can lead to the actual act.

    Same applies for kissing. Try to be open to touching. Shaking hands, touching the elbow, shoulder, or the back can be the first step to feel a connection. Then, you can probably move on to the next step if you feel at ease with doing so, or you can add the belly, the hip, and the leg. These sign are generally done between friends or even in between strangers who feel quickly at ease with each other.

    Then, you can move on to hugging more often, holding hands or the above body parts, narrowing the distance between each other when conversating, and touching the face. If you don't kiss after this, I bet you're going to be and feel very close and feel ever more eager to have it.

    But there's more. Kissing on the mouth, and kissing at all, is considered as one special and intimate thing. The face and lips also bear an even more special importance. It's normal so far to touch but now comes the time to caress, and to kiss anywhere else than the lips. Again, hands and arms will feel less overwhelming than the rest, but you can then move on to the neck, the cheek, the forehead and the nose.

    Wait until he is comfortable himself. He will surely take exemple on you and replicate the same at one point. That's the time when he's telling you he's ready for the next step. Just enjoy the moments; it feels even better when it lasts long. Although just be considerate of one factor; the male's system works differently than the female's and it can become badly painful for him when there is too much foreplay with a prolonged excitement with the genitals.

Top Threads
He hasnt asked me on third date
I met this guy online. Before we go out, he knew I am really really shy and I warned him that I might be too shy to speak.. But we sent lengthy
Falling for a woman with walls up
I've been working with this girl who I fell for pretty much straight away however I was in a long term relationship at the time so didn't pursue it
How do I learn to date?
I've (23M) never been able to work up the courage and ask a girl out on a date. Too shy, too insecure. So of course that means I've only been able to
Girl at work
Hi, my name is Matthew and I'm 22 and I live in Colombia. I recently started up an internship in a hotel since my university requires 6 months of
Shyness
So there is this guy who goes to a different school than me but we're both on the bowling team . I've seen him around but I am too shy to talk to him
Shyness
Right, so I'll start by saying that i have had a crush since 7th grade when a new girl came into our class, I was extremely shy, unathletic and
I need help with a girl
I moved to another city to start university last year, it was about a two hour drive from my hometown but it just so happened that a guy who lived

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Is he still in love with his EX?
I met this great guy at work (last November), he just got out of a painful breakup (last September) during that time he kept communicating with his
Can't get over girlfriends past
I've been dating this girl for about 5 months and its going great. The only issue is that I can't get over her sexual history. There are several
I dont like my girlfriends new piercing
So my girlfriend went and got nipple piercings knowing that i didnt like them and didnt tell me she was gonna get them. They are a really big turn
What I am to her ?
hey guys I want some counseling .. I met a girl online .. At first she said that she doesn't wanna fall for me and we will be just friends .. I said
I want my family back
Hi, I was dumped on New Years Eve by my ex girlfriend of 8 years whom I have a 6 year old with. We have been arguing for the past few months prior to
Anxious and depressed about being 32 yo and not married
I could really use some kind and encouraging words right now because I wake up every morning to an intense feeling of pain because I am alone. I'm 32
Ex (dumper) delays giving keys back. Why?
First time poster. Been viewing threads somewhat regularly for a few months now and figured I'd get a few opinions. I'll give a little of the
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •