doing what they keep telling me..

I don't usually join forums, but I have nowhere else to go, and I have nobody to speak to about this.

I've been suffering from depression for the last two years, but I myself am against medication, so I try not to take anti-depressants or other meds. I have been self harming for quite a long time, and even though I am ashamed of myself, and the way i choose to mutilate my body, it is just a coping mechanism i guess.

But for the last 3 weeks I have been hearing voices, and I am terrified. I can't sleep, eat or concentrate at school.

The voices keep telling me to kill myself, because I could never live a life of worth. I know I'm not alone, but is hearing voices normal?

It's at the point where I am self harming to try and drown out the voices, but i can't, and I'm scared that one night I will go to far.

What can i do about this? Im scared, and I can't let them get the better of me.

I think you better tell someone close to you, what is happening, like a close family member or best friend. Or go to a Dr. or counselor.

No, hearing those kinds of voices is NOT NORMAL, and you need to keep help right away, from a real person where you live. This forum is not enough to help you. And self harming is not normal either.

Do you have someone you are close to, that you can tell this to?? Like right now?? This minute?? Please do. You deserve a better life than this.

Please go to the doctors.. You cant keep hurting yourself like this.

Reach out to someone and let them know whats going on.

How old are you?

Call the suicide/help lines of your country, like the 13 11 14.

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Please call those help lines. They may give good advice.

I don't know if hospitals deal with depressive and suicidal patients...? Maybe they have a psychiatrist who is a therapist or who can give you meds.

I wouldn't recommend to talk about your issue to friends/people...they would get scared, may end up avoiding you or just telling you to cheer up. Family? Tell your parents only if you think they will understand and look for help for you or an aunt/uncle who you really trust. No one else.

I'm glad you don't want to give in to these thoughts, keep fighting! =)

go and find a counsellor now they will listen talking is so helpful ive been where you are still am but im talking,on here and to various supporters and my family need not know counsellors wont judge you.if you dont talk youll spend the rest of youre life not knowing helps not that far away it not a quick fix but ive had four good days in a row and today i didnt even talk to my helpers first time in about 2 weeks i didnt realise how the little things help like typing on here youre not alone any more well done on the first step now take a second.

Call the suicide/help lines of your country, like the 13 11 14.

link removed

 

Please call those help lines. They may give good advice.

I don't know if hospitals deal with depressive and suicidal patients...? Maybe they have a psychiatrist who is a therapist or who can give you meds.

 

I wouldn't recommend to talk about your issue to friends/people...they would get scared, may end up avoiding you or just telling you to cheer up. Family? Tell your parents only if you think they will understand and look for help for you or an aunt/uncle who you really trust. No one else.

 

I'm glad you don't want to give in to these thoughts, keep fighting! =)

Sorry I disagree with this post, In my opinion when your hurting like this you should talk to anyone that will help you, esp your friends and family, they are closest to you and hopefully will help you. To me if they turn away from you then there not your friend to begin with.

I live in the US and if you show up at hospital, tell them your thinking of hurting yourself they will help you. I agree with the hotline, but sometimes talking is not enough action.

I do hope you come back on and talk to us though, let us know your okay.

Sorry I disagree with this post, In my opinion when your hurting like this you should talk to anyone that will help you, esp your friends and family, they are closest to you and hopefully will help you. To me if they turn away from you then there not your friend to begin with.

 

I live in the US and if you show up at hospital, tell them your thinking of hurting yourself they will help you. I agree with the hotline, but sometimes talking is not enough action.

 

I do hope you come back on and talk to us though, let us know your okay.

No problem =) I still disagree with you. As a person who've been depressive, I know what it's like (maybe you too) and I wouldn't like to tell this to "everyone" around me at the time. That's intimate and delicate matters and only the persons you trust should know about it, besides your therapist/counselor. Telling this to a friend who will turn away from her will not help her, or worse, may make her isolate herself. Indeed, I didn't have much friends, and not even reliable friends who could actually help me. Depression and suicide are things that should be treated by professionals.

I also don't know how old is the OP and I supposed she was in high school or college. If she's in high school, teenagers can be mean or ignorant. You know, I've been lurking on another forum and the responses to the thread "how do you feel about suicide?" were mostly jugemental or mean.

I don't think that it's the quantity that matters but the quality. I know that any kind of support and encouragement from friends is good, but maybe she has no reliable friends =/ That's just me, the OP will do what she feels is right, maybe you're right, but it was my opinion.

As for taking action, the hotline may give her tips to do that and I think she's already active by asking for help.

Thanks to all of you, but I really, really can't talk to my family about this. They won't see it from my point of view, and will be mad at me for making such poor choices.

Some of my closest friends know about it and it felt really good to talk about it to someone, but I don't really think they fully understand what's going on here. My best friend has been trying to help me with the self harm for the last 2 years, and it kinda feels like she is the only one who does want to help me, as Sui suggested I did scare some of my friends off.

I'm only 15, thats why I need to fix this, I have so much time ahead of me but it's getting so hard to shut the voices out.

I know in my case meds might seem like the obvious way to go, if i was to get professional help, but does anybody know of any natural healing things i could use? Because i honestly think I'm running out of time, but thank you all, your suggestions were helpful.

the best natural resource must be sunshine and sitting somewhere outside and quiet,just taking a few moments to look out and breathe in as the world passes by just take 5 minutes before your day begins you might be relaxed all day!

okay I think my post was misunderstood, I didnt mean scream to the world, I meant to find someone that she can trust and that will help her. No hard feelings, I am one that can take differant opinions.

I also have dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life, started when I was around 15 and Im 32 now, have tried many of docs, meds, therapy and just giving up and attempting.

I really think you need to see a professional, the voices in your head is not something I think a hotline can handle, plus having a support group around you makes a huge differance. Cause why try if nobody cares right.

I also hesitate to take prescription meds because I come from a family of addictions, but when my feelings and thoughts are out of control thats all that helps me.

I cant imagine being 15 in this world that we live in. Im so sorry that you have this pain at such a young age. This world can be so cruel. I have also had to tell friends and family horrible things and have had them turn away so I def understand what its like to feel alone and scared, thats why I say reach out. Talking to someone on the phone or even the internet is not the same as talking to someone face to face, so they can hug you and see that your in pain and not just think its something your going through at that minute.

@ doityourself: it's okay. I'm sorry that you also have to deal with depression.

I wasn't/am lucky enough to have one friend who would support me so I guess this is also why I'm kinda reluctant about telling friends about delicate personal issues.

I've never called hotlines (didn't think about it at the time) but I thought it would be a good start, as she said she had no one to talk to (first post). I've never had therapy since it is very expensive to me and my university doesn't have psychologists. A counselor for general things, yes.

.emily. glad that you're not alone. Did you mean herbs by "natural healing things"? If so, I've heard there are herbs for depression but I don't know if it works. Perhaps you can ask your doctor about them to be sure.

As for your health, you said you can't eat and sleep, so go see your doctor, your situation sounds dangerous for you. You may need vitamins or something.

Let us know what you tried and what worked out...if you want to.

Okay so I've decided I seriously do need professional help, last night was the worst night for quite a while. I start hearing voices around the same time everynight, but last night they lasted for nearly the whole night, I didn't sleep at all.

They tell me to do such stupid things, and as always i couldn't resist, and I swore just like every other night that I wouldn't do anything dumb again. but i can't handle it anymore. Just as do it yourself said, I still have many years ahead of me and I am jeopardizing that opportunity. Thankyou all for your help, I honestly did think I was fine, and could keep living like this, but you made me realise i need some professional help.

So thankyou all (:

Okay so I've decided I seriously do need professional help, last night was the worst night for quite a while. I start hearing voices around the same time everynight, but last night they lasted for nearly the whole night, I didn't sleep at all.

They tell me to do such stupid things, and as always i couldn't resist, and I swore just like every other night that I wouldn't do anything dumb again. but i can't handle it anymore. Just as do it yourself said, I still have many years ahead of me and I am jeopardizing that opportunity. Thankyou all for your help, I honestly did think I was fine, and could keep living like this, but you made me realise i need some professional help.

So thankyou all (

 

Emily,

 

Your doing the right thing, I know its scary to reach out but once you get your mind where it needs to be and find your peace, you will feel so much better. I know it can be embarrassing but realize you can say nothing or have done nothing that they havent seen or heard before. Dont hold anything back, it only works if you give it your all.

 

Wishing you luck on your journey.

I second what doityourself said.