I was not plannjng to post anything here but after reading the previous messages, I feel like “communicating”.
Anyway, it’s been almost 3 mo. since you broke up 2mo. since the last time we spoke. I only initiated a conversation 3x. You never did. The first time, you said hurtful things. Told me our relationship was not toxic at all but what I could offer you was not enough. The second time was when I told you I understood the situation and that we had to move on. I told you that we can still be friends. I forgave you that time and you said thank you and that maybe, when we see each other in the streets, we can say hi to each other. The last time I spoke with you, I admitted I was having a hard time moving on and that I had to cut you off completely. Removed you from my life (social media etc) and I am glad I did.
This time alone made me realize my worth to you. How easily I was replaced. How you never admitted any of your mistakes in the relationship. Never apologized for any hurt you caused me. I took it all in, believing that it was all my fault. But I would not have it any other way. This whole experience made me stronger and wiser. I will continue to look at the past and its debris of broken glass. I will not try to pick it up and fix it. I just want to look back and get all of the lessons that I could take from that experience.
You are slowly fading away from my thought. I do think of you every single day but the details are startig to get blurry. You can’t blame me though.. you made it easier for me to move on. Your true colors, during the breakup, gave me enough reason to fight for my self respect and forget about you. It was surely painful at first but I am getting used to it. I am actually getting tired of thinking of you. Feels like a chore. Takes up too much of my time and energy. I guess I will just have to find a way to use those thought as a push to keep my life moving.
It does not matter anymore what hapens to you. If you’re with him or not. If you’re regretting what happened or not. If you still want me or not. Honestly, most of me do not care anymore. But I still wish you happiness etc. No different from the way I would wish most of the people in this world even strangers happiness. (World peace mumbo jumbo haha)
Ahh.. strangers.. yes.. that’s what we are now. And no. When we see each other in the streets, I wont have any intention of saying hi or avoiding you. I will simply be indifferent (i hope ). We are strangers after all.
Thanks and godspeed in this journey called LIFE, buddy.