We are both responsible for the demise of our relationship.
I made you my idol. I became clingy, needy, and started smothering you out of fear of losing you. That was not fair to either of us. More importantly, I was not at a place where I could help you grow in the faith. More often than not, my love was misdirected and I pulled you down to appease my fleshy desires. I am so sorry for that and now I only wish I had honored and protected you better. I truly wish you had dated the man that I became in our time apart.
Whether you want to admit it or not, you emotionally cheated. You chose to have heart-to-heart conversations with Thomas and to go to him when you wanted to talk about something at the expense of our relationship. You chose to feed your crush when you were talking to Thomas like he was your partner every day.
I have forgiven you. I have moved on. I do hope you learn from this and are cautious with how you handle affective relationships going forward.
When we broke up, I was absolutely devastated. You have to understand that I lost not just the person I was completely in love with, but the person who was my best friend in every single way.
When you leave a relationship to almost immediately jump into another, I want you to understand the toll it takes on a person, both mentally and emotionally. The individual you left feels like they aren't good enough or were never good enough for your love. They feel as if they never had a chance, completely and utterly invisible to how much significance they serve in your life. No matter what they do to prove how much they care about you, it just never seems to be enough. Their value of self-worth becomes less and less as each day goes by, knowing that they were replaced and no longer your favorite person.
But through the heartache comes strength and I have you to thank for that. Even though it was some of the most difficult times of my life, I learned the greatest lesson about myself, most importantly about my heart. When I tried to fight for you, I thought I was doing it to not only get you back but to save my heart from any more heartache. What I actually learned was how strong my heart became. I realized that it's so important to follow your heart, no matter where it may lead you.