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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    How to Get Her Back Without Sacrificing Self-Love

    Do you want her back in your life? After breakup, moving on and getting over the pain can be one of the most difficult things to do. But letting go of someone who used to mean so much to you is easier said than done, especially if you still have deep love for them. It’s important to remember, however, that if a relationship doesn’t make you happy, it’s not worth it — no matter how hard the decision may be.

    No matter what happened in the past, pursuing to get her back can bring its own set of struggles and hardships. Unfortunately, many of us fall into a trap of seeking validation from someone else. We forget to love and nurture ourselves first before prioritizing our loved ones. If you still feel like you need her in your life, keep in mind these few tips to pursue her without sacrificing your self-worth in the process.

    First and foremost, understand why you two were together in the beginning. Recall special memories and shared experiences that connected you two and led to your commitment in the first place. Remind yourself of the strength you felt during those times. This will remind you that you both have the capacity to share a solid relationship — and if you decide to rebuild what was once lost, you’ll have a stronger foundation from which you both can grow.

    Second, take responsibility for your role in what happened. Understanding your past transgressions will help you improve and be your best self moving forward. Even if you don’t believe you contributed to the end, owning up to your past mistakes will show maturity and a willingness to endure the challenges, no matter how tough they may be. Owning up to the issue at hand demonstrates respect and sincerity, making the entire process more successful.

    Purchase a few self-love books and read them when you are feeling low. A few examples include “The Art of Loving Yourself,” “You Are Enough,” and “Radical Acceptance.” Making sure that you focus on yourself and believe that you are worthy of love is essential as you pursue reconciliation. By paying attention to how you feel, you will be better able to deal with the questions and doubts that are swirling around in your head.

    Once you can confidently practice some self-compassion, it’s time to reach out to the other person. Be honest and humble with how you choose to initiate the conversation. Rekindling a past relationship is a sensitive area and you should make sure that your intentions are clear, yet respectful. Avoid ultimatums or demands as this won’t bode well for the resolution of the conflict.

    If you still don’t hear back from the other person after a few rounds of attempts to communicate, recognize that this is part of the healing process. Letting go can be one of the hardest things to do, and at times, it can seem unbearable. You are in control of your own destiny, but stay true to yourself and your sense of purpose. When we have immense love for someone, it can be difficult to remember that we should prioritize personal growth and self-care first.

    You will always have relationships that end — some will be amicable and some will not. Remember to take a step back and to talk to close family or friends if you need a different perspective on the situation. And above all, remember that self-love should never come second to loving others — so take care of yourself and stay strong.

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