How can you tell if your partner has commitment phobia or if they just need more time?

Are you dating someone and unsure if they have commitment phobia or just need more time to decide if they want to commit?

Commitment phobia, or commitment anxiety, is a real thing. It can take shape in different ways and to varying degrees, but the end result—avoidance of close relationships—is the same. Fear of commitment can stand in the way of romantic relationships, although it doesn’t have to be that way.

You may be feeling confused and a bit overwhelmed if you find yourself dating someone who is reluctant to commit. After all, it’s only natural for us to want to make solid plans about what to do in the future, especially when we feel comfortable with our partners. It can be difficult to gauge when someone is simply taking their time or when they are displaying signs of a bigger issue.

One way to tell if your partner has commitment phobia is to look at their past behaviors. If they have a history of entering into relationships quickly and calling things off shortly after, then this could indicate the presence of commitment anxiety. This type of pattern is known as “commitment cycling.” It involves rushing into a relationship, enduring it for a while, then retracting in order to avoid the possibility of getting hurt or experiencing any deeper emotions than pleasure.

Another sign of commitment phobia is if your partner shows signs of avoidance. This can look like them not picking up your calls or skipping out on hangouts they agree to. If they are not interested in meeting your friends and family, or discussing future plans in any capacity, then this could signify trepidation towards committing.

While it can be difficult to accept that your partner may struggle with commitment issues, it’s important to remember that they should never feel coerced into any romantic situation. People with commitment phobia should be encouraged to open up about their feelings and how they need to be supported in order to move towards a healthier relationship structure. If someone needs more time to decide whether to commit or not, then that is completely reasonable. Give them the space to sort through their emotions and re-evaluate in their own time.

Often times, feelings of sadness, loneliness, or even depression can accompany commitment phobia. If your partner expresses these emotions, it’s important to listen to and validate how they are feeling. Do your best to understand where they’re coming from and remind them that you’re there to support them—even if they feel scared or overwhelmed. Reassure them that they don’t have to come to any decisions right away.

Remember, it’s not your job to diagnose someone with commitment phobia—or any other disorder, for that matter. However, understanding certain warning signs can help you determine if your partner is displaying symptoms related to commitment anxiety or if they just need a little more time to decide which direction they want to go in. Whatever the case may be, always be patient and kind to your loved one. Respect their process and provide them with love and care throughout.