Where to go from here....? (Kind of a weird relationship)

Hello! I'm new to these forums and I don't live in a country where English is the main language so I hope I'm doing everything right.

Since you can be nice 'n' anonymous on this forum I'll be a 100% and just tell you guys the entire story.....

... Me (m/18) and my girlfriend (f/16) have been dating for a year now. We're in an online relationship, but we've run in a couple of problems. We managed to resolve them, but I have NO IDEA how to take it from here.

Our relationship, other than it being an internet relationship and being 5000 miles apart, has been fairly normal. We're both kind of unsocial people but share extremely common interests and are (were?) both super devoted to being together.

I have a full time job as a chef in a restaurant's kitchen, and she is in collage and online school. About four months ago, I was at a point in my life where I was getting super stressed from work. I wasn't supposed to be the chef there, I was just a cook but was randomly offered a promotion when the previous chef abruptly left. I took my job very serious and was out sometimes 18 hours a day for 5-7 days in a week. Because I also took our relationship so serious I also slept really bad because I stayed up really late so I could talk to my girlfriend at night (I am seven hours ahead of her). During that period, I was really cranky and always in a bad mood and every little thing anyone did wrong pissed me off. I swore at my girlfriend quite a lot and said some pretty bad words! When I later that month quit my job because it was getting too much, she told me how upset she was with the way I treated her and we talked it out and everything seemed okay! Shortly after us talking it out, she got grounded because her mom found out she sent nudes to me at some point. Whenever her mom grounds her, she takes away my gf's laptop and phone so she doesn't have access to the internet anymore - so she can't talk to me. Luckily my gf had an old, half broken iPhone that she could secretly use to still message me from time to time. We decided that we just had to sit it out and wait until she got her stuff back and not risk calling on Skype and get her caught. Now about three weeks ago, the power went out in her neighborhood for two days so my girlfriend, her sister, mom and dad had to stay at their grandparents' house until the problem was fixed. She shared a room with her mom and didn't bring her phone so we didn't talk. When she came back, she suddenly wanted to break up with me.....

... Apparently her mom had gone through her phone (the one she took off my gf) and found the conversation where I 'verbally abused' my girlfriend and confronted her about it. She spent literally 24 hours a day with her mom and she managed to convince my gf that I was bad for her. We hadn't broken up yet, she still loved me but wanted me to prepare for a break up. She decided that it was worth the risk to call over Skype because she didn't want to break up over text. She still didn't break up with me though because she wasn't a 1000% sure of it yet. I had a horrible sleeping schedule during this time because she could only call at 00:00 her time (07:00 my time.....). We called every night and talked about our feelings until she got tired.

Then finally, three days ago we broke up but decided to stay friends and still try to call as often as possible. Alright, so no longer dating, we called the next night; guess what? Nothing changed! She still called me "baby" and "daddy" and all that crap, and I was so confused! She said that she still had feelings for me but was going to try to stop them so we could both move on. Me, having no intention to lose her, just went along with the lovey talk and she seemed happy. Now tonight, we had a big fight which started with me being angry because I wanted clearance, and ended with her starting to cry and me instantly jumping in to comfort her, making her realize that I still love her and that I'm not.

Now I know that this story sounds pretty insane, but I left all of the smaller details out because it's already long enough as it is.

Please help me decide how to approach this relationship. Her breaking up with me opened my eyes to what is important, so I won't make stupid mistakes like putting her second anymore, but she is extremely fragile right now. I know her better than anyone else (which is probably really hard to believe from anyone who hasn't experienced an online relationship, but just bare with me) and I know that I can make it right, but I've never been in this position before. She's the sweetest girl I have ever met, she doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and goes to Church. I never meant to hurt her, and didn't even know I was doing it at the time, but I need help in what pace I take it with her from now on. She loves it if I protect her and make her feel safe but I don't want to rush things or mess up right now.....

TLDR: Me and my online girlfriend (serious relationship) had some trouble in the past, she got over it, got reminded of it again, broke up with me but still loved me so we're back together now. She is very fragile right now so please give me tips on how NOT to mess it up again.

Honestly ...You are flogging a dead horse here mate ...5000 miles apart and she is young enough that her mum grounds her and takes her laptop away , this tells me it will be a very very long time before you are both in a position to be together ..and when she is old enough ..then what ? how are you both going to meet up and have a real relationship 5000 miles apart . You have both landed yourselves into fantasy land ..where you consider yourselves dating and consider this a real relationship .. you can take years away from your own real life by carrying this on when you should be out there in the real world meeting real women .

I am sorry this is not what you asked , but how does anyone give tips not to mess up a relationship that is online .

Hi There,

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, in some ways i agree with the reply earlier, but i hope i can be a little more gentle in the approach. No offense to Pippy.

I don't think the issue here is online dating, hell, i've been trying to find a real woman offline for years, and in a globalized world, why not online, it's a learning curve, it's full of nasties, just like the real world,

I don't believe falling in love on the net is really possible, however as i wrote in my post on this site, i think it is possible that you can get to the feeling that you want to, where your heart desires to fall in love, that is not always based upon fantasy. and considering that skype etc help this along, by allowing us to mimic body language and communicate using body language, because we are not always aware of it, it can impact more on what we feel than words ever will

My concern here, is that you are not ready for a relationship, in a way, you are digging yourself a bigger hole to fall into,

You need to accept that for a while you need to be lonely, take some time and find ways to resolve that anger issues, don't blame work or anything but yourself for these issues, own them and deal with them, then how you proceed to find the person you want in your life, online or in a bar or football stadium, is your choice, made from a clear mind and heart, you will then know what you are really looking for,

The problem with relationships in the world is that many people don't go into them looking for love, they go into them looking for someone to save them or heal them, and that just isn't going to happen with a lot of hurt along the way, why, ? because it wasn't love in the first place

Somewhere inside you is likely a good human being, find those good parts of yourself, if you can't, go and make some, build your compassion, empathy, and learn how to understand others, and act on being those things towards others, looking at ourselves is never easy, looking at others without looking at ourselves first is impossible, so best you have something in yourself to look at first that is of a good nature before you look at someone else, then someone may look at you and think you are worth a future together

Only a naive young girl child would remain in an abusive CYBER relationship when all she has to do is block you.

There is nothing here. Try and find a real life local girl who will put up with your attitude and schedule.