Days are getting longer

I am a big mess i cant get her out of my head i love her so much i cant just get over 14 years she means everything to me

Welcome to the forum. It's now time to find yourself again and begin to heal. She isn't everything to you and you know she's not your heart and soul is damaged and is craving her which is completely natural. We are all free spirits in this world and can do whatever we want and freedom comes when you let go of what no longer serves you which she doesn't.

Are there any kids involved? Are you still in contact/living with her? We need some further information to better advise you.

This is where you start to heal and find yourself again. It's mot healthy for someone to mean everything to you.

You'll get past this it just takes time and being kind to yourself. Surround yourself with support and forgive yourself for not being perfect

I am trying so hard collette sloan

To be a better person my depression is geting treated and i am reading a hell of a lot as therapy is expensive but this is a deasse and i am sorry you have had to live with me when i have not been myself i know it was hard for you and i dont blame you i needed help and i am doing that now

14 years is a long time and i have never wanted to have a broken family the boys deserve better .

The week before our BU i remember to texts i cant remember the first but i remember the last one

"I am not stuip"

And i am not but me my depression took total control over me and i could not see it the day of matthews party i self medicated the night before as i always do and i was lost in the morrning

I was lost and depressed but i got up and made it whille i was there i juged every thing and even got upset with how things where going and the hole time i wanted out so what was i thinking " i need a drink" so we went to jays and elleys place and instead of eating with some good friends all i wanted to do was go home and self medicate

I know this has had a grate toll on you trying your best and i am so sorry for doing this.

I know time will fix me and ill get over this one day

But i need to fix myself before i can fix us

i know i am a good person i am still working on it and ill continue to keep working on this

I really would like to see the boys grow up in a happy family not something that is broken

I am not asking for a scond chance i am just asking for time

Ps: ill allways love you