Mind Games

[vfunkera]

hey u can read my situation under 'shes the one- really need some help'. im definetly feelin alot better and thnxs for the responses i got, they really helped. iv also read other problems and can relate to them to. time is definetly a healer, but i still want this dream girl back as much as i did a month ago. i still believe we will get back, only a matter of when, because i have alot of faith in God.

i still see this girl at least once a week, usually at the same bar on friday nights, but i have decided to continue with these mind games and hope that they will eventually bring her back. i dont talk to her anymore on the net or fridays, even though we do make eye contact, but i pretend i dont see her, and carry on pretending im having a great time without her. shes checking on me almost every minute whenever im around- always looking over, what does that suggest?

if i keep this up, do u think it will work, or is there the possibility that she will see that i dont need her and walk away from gettin back with me (if thats what shes thinkin)? im thinking of taking it to the next level and actually kissing other girls when shes around, but only because i hope it will bring her back. will it make her jealous? will it piss her off? the last thing i want is to push her further away from me. i want her back;i dont want to get back at her. appreciate any advise.

[Tolly]

Mate...I've been down this road and your doing yourself no favours and because you are playing she's winning.

I have played these games myself and lost because I was unhappy whereas she was very happy. Be genuinely happy and look after yourself and that will kill two birds with one stone eh!

 

Women are very strange creatures and what seems logical and straight forward is infact as rational as a pink banana being eaten by a whale with two heads.

[Mar]

I have to agree completely with Tolly (I loved the pink bananas thing, that was great! lol) in that you're definitely not doing yourself or her any favors by playing these games. If you want her back and aren't sure where you stand with her, then TALK to her, don't mess with her head, that's only going to confuse the hell out of things. Jealousy is NOT the way to go, trust me on this! If you were to do as you said and kiss some girl in front of her, do you think she's so dumb that she won't 1) be extremely hurt at your lack of consideration and 2) think you're an absolute idiot for doing something so blatantly wrong? Women, for all of our faults, ARE intelligent creatures, give us a little credit! We can think up these games just as well as you can, so if you were to do that, don't you think she'd realize just what it was you were trying to do? Complete wrong approach, mate.

 

If you want her back and think there's a future for you two, then just talk to her, if she'll allow it. I don't know who broke up with who, but think about it....you two were recently together for awhile and now run into each other in a social situation-of COURSE she's going to be curious if you're meeting someone new, or who you're talking to! Obviously you're doing the same, or you wouldn't have noticed it in the first place. Just ask her some night if you can speak to her for a minute, and ask how she's doing. I can't really advise you on the entire conversation, since I don't know what'll be said or what her response would be, but you should have a feel for it in however she answers. But DON'T PLAY GAMES. That'll get you nowhere, and really, really quick....lol

[Tolly]

I have to disagree slightly with Mar. Women can't just think of these games as well as men. They do it better, they wrote the book. Why do you think so many girls develop eating disorders at school. Mind games and teasing.

 

In my case, we would both let each other know how happy we were, but everytime I mentioned something, she'd trump it with something way better. I'm on Prozac now!

 

Best left well alone.

[buffalosoldier]

yeh,and this is also no time for a game of 'battle of the sexes' either,thats best left alone if you wanna get anywhere!!

both sexes are equally good at the mind games,we're all human after all!!

but no i wouldnt start playing the mind games trick,it doesnt work and especially with your ex girlfriend who probably knows you better than most.she'll know what your trying to do,honesty is the best policy here,shes not just any old girl,she your ex,and the one that you feel alot for im presuming.she might wonder why you are acting strangely and might assume that you dont like her anymore and might see it as a brush off.

just be nice to her,talk to her as you would normally,if she doesnt want to know then stuff her,but still dont play the mind games,your better than that,so show her!

good luck xxx

[Princess777]

I suggest you just keep a casual friendship with her (VERY casual). I wouldn't go out of your way to please her or care too much about what she thinks about your relationships that you might want to have, etc. Don't walk on eggshells around her so much!!! I think the more you relax around her the more attractive it would be. She will always be wondering what you've been doing or who you've been seeing, etc. that way. If you meet someone you really like, I wouldn't hold back your feelings but I also wouldn't put public display of affection out there unless you really mean it, and you are sure you are over your ex.

I know it is so hard to see someone out and about after you've been with them, and they are with other people, etc. and you constantly wonder if they're looking at you and you wonder if they care what you've been doing. Try hard not to worry, we can only control some things, but not all.

Princess777