Fallen in Love... :(

[Boughs]

So I made a post previously about a girl that I really like. She is just a fantastic person to be around, gorgeous, funny, kind, strong, commanding (in a good way).... etc.

 

I'm 20, she is 20.

 

I guess as time has gone on I've really almost... like... become infatuated almost like love her from a distance. Whenever we talk its almost as if we become.. uneasy with each other... and we kind of fall to each others feet. So really I know she likes me and I like her. But... she has a boyfriend. I think they are slowly falling out, but I've chosen to stay as far away from their relationship as far as possible (i've had a brief talk about their relationship and met him only twice). Even then, i know to wait at least 5 months before considering anything... so thats frusterating me.

 

I'm typically not like this. In fact I'm very much so a realist and for something this... hmmm strange/mystical to happen kind of befuddles me. I tend not to let my mind drift this way, but I guess I just can't help it.

 

Patience and kindness is all I can do right now... I've met some other girls that have made passes and I've chosen not to take them because I really want to date this girl and just see if we have a chemistry. I don't want to get into a relationship and then find out she is looking for another relationship... that would kill what I've started and create a rough/odd rocky start if we ever did begin dating.

 

Anyone find this sensible to essentially... hmm... wait? Is it creepy? am I wrong? Should I do something else? Should I stop thinking about her? what can I do in the meantime to keep me from getting too antsy?

[b2761]

keep yourself busy with others so you don't regard her as your only option and put too much pressure on that.

[Boughs]

understood and that is what I was thinking. I'm not putting too much pressure on it... i hope not. Haha, but its probably more pressure than I should be putting on such a thing. How does one let their thoughts go a bit? just stop thinkin about them? stop talking to them?

[simply complicated]

Hi boughs, let me tell you, I was in the exact same perdicament, and I persued it, while she was still with her b/f (who she was bound to leave) and we ended up together and very much in love.

But in the end it came to crashing hault, trust was beginning to be a huge issue, she eventually left him and she was officially mnie, but no matter what, it takes time to heel old love wounds, she just got out of a relationship and was already with me.

Now if this happened to you, the same situation would occur, she would not be over him right away, she would still have feelings for him and wuold probably still be talking to him, thats where the trust issues fall into place.

If i could do it all over again I would not have persued it, I would have waited, given her the space needed till she was ready, which i recommend you do, say if she cheats on him with you, whats to stop her from cheating on you with someone else, you have respect for this woman, show her that.

[Serpent Queen]

I think you should explore other possibilities whilst waiting. If it's going to happen, it will, but don't waste your time waiting for something that may not happen.

[Boughs]

Thank you both for your suggestions. I agree.

[PocoDiablo]

I think you should explore other possibilities whilst waiting. If it's going to happen, it will, but don't waste your time waiting for something that may not happen.

Exactly.

 

Here you are pining away for a woman who is taken, and you are denying yourself the opportunity to meet someone else, and have a life. Sitting alone desperately waiting for her relationship to fail is like a vulture. It's not attractive in any way. And then you say you're going to wait 5 months to make a move? That IS creepy.

 

If she and you had chemistry, she would have dumped her BF a long time ago to be with you. You're missing opportunities to be with other women who are displaying an OBVIOUS high interest level in you. I'd say you're a fool to wait for someone who is taken and pass on people who are single.

 

If anything, when she sees how happy you are with another woman, maybe she'll reconsider her relationship and follow in your footsteps to find happiness. If it's meant to be, it'll come together, but chances are you are going to be better off taking care of yourself first.

[CynicalGuitarist]

You really should be more assertive... but don't lie about your feelings towards these "other" girls; that'll just hurt somebody in the end. I also think that you shouldn't sit there pining for this girl expecting a "rebound relationship". That kinda reminds me of Dante, the main character of the Clerks series. In other words, sometimes ya just gotta let it go.

[Boughs]

Amazing post. Thank you so much... really got my thoughts rolling. Next pass i get I'll take (well considering of course). Thanks

 

Your right it is lame... but it isn't like I'm just wallowing... its just I have such a high attraction that I'm just... trying to be patient. She runs through my mind... but it doesn't really... depress me... it just makes me more curious.

 

Ultimately what bothers me is that she is interested and flirts.... I don't expect her to just drop her relationship.

[PocoDiablo]

Well, if she's flirting, she's probably just doing it to make herself feel better. Beware - sounds like she's not taking into account the effect it is having on you. Dare I say she's maybe a little selfish and doesn't realize it?

 

Time to move on, for now, in my opinion.