What does this mean?

[Totally lost]

I really need help here. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. No matter how hard I try I can't turn my feelings off. I keep telling myself to move on but I can't stop thinking about him. Everywhere I go there is reminders of him.

 

We had a fight and ended it there and then. I since contacted him apologising and he keeps telling me he is angry and it will take time to get past this anger. We were both at fault but for some reason I am the only one accepting the blame for my actions. I recently sent him a letter explaining exactly what happened in my perspective in a very nice way and he seemed to understand and was really nice to me on the phone. I was more at fault then him but it wasn't all me. I lost my temper and said a lot of things I shouldn't have at the time of the fight. This was our only fight and I don't know how to handle him. We haven't got back together since the fight and I don't know if he is interested in trying to reconcile or not. Sometimes I think he is and then he seems strange again.

 

He seems to get these anger spurts. One minute he's fine and ringing me and the next minute I have no idea what he's thinking or how to read him. Last week he rang me and was in a strange mood. He said he didn't mean to ring me and rung the wong number cut the conversation really short and hung up the phone. I was really hurt with the way he treated me and sent him an sms that said - Do you have any idea how hurtful you can be! He rang me the next day and was really angry about the text. That day I sent him another text which said - Do you want me to give up on us and let you go? That was 5 days ago and I haven't heard from him. Does this mean it's over and he wants me to leave him alone or does it mean he still needs time to get over things. If he wanted me to leave him alone wouldn't he just respond to the text telling me. Ugggh I really can't read this man. It's not like we're kids either as we are both in our mid 30's.

I know prior to the fight that he loved me and we seemed completely compatible in everyway. I'm trying NC to see what happens but my head is just spinning. Why didn't he respond to my SMS !!

 

Please help!!

[Lovestragedies]

What was the fight about? At this point, whatever it was, he's probably not ready to forgive. He probably doesn't want you telling him the sort of guy he is when he's upset with whatever he thinks you did. You'd probably do well to leave him alone for awhile. Sometimes people just need time and space.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Totally Lost -

 

I am of the opinion that you should let it be. Let him come to you now. You've made your position on the matter VERY clear. The ball is in his court, as it were. Let him make the next play.

 

Just post here when you feel like texting or ringing him!

[Totally lost]

Thanks for your advice. I agree I need to stick with the NC but it is really hard. I just want to hear his voice or something. The amount of times I pick up the phone is amazing and if the phone rings I fall to pieces. He still hasn't rung me and I'm going nuts.

 

I still can't understand why he didn't reply to my SMS. Do I keep my hopes up that he may come back in time.

[ghost69]

i think you are contacting him too much. this is why your feelings are rekindling. also, if you are hearing that he has been going out or meeting other women, this will get your claws out too. NC will help here.

[Lovestragedies]

You have to remember - when we're angry with someone, we tend to draw ourselves closer to them in our minds, because we tend to evaluate what we're angry about. If he's angry with you, trust me, he'll be coming around sooner or later.