He feels that he has not gotten the attention he needed

[Kerrikaye]

My husband of over a year says he needs time to think our relationship thru. He says he feels that the past six mnths he has not gotten the attention he needed and is fearful if we work things out that I wouldn't change forever the way I give him the ntimacy he needs. I realize since our relationship has changed that I took him for grabnted and now I miss him so much. I want him back as husband/wife so we can better the relationship. I have agreed to give him his space. I know there is no one else. My husband has low self esteem he is very overweight so this didn't help his ego any me not paying attention to him like I should have. I really miss the affection and realized I had been missing it to. I don't want to throw in the total but I feel soooo bad about hurting him. He says I am his best friend but he can't say he loves me now because he kind of feels he fell out of love because of the lack of intimacy and that we were like roomates. But yet he doesn't want me to leave. Is there hope. I have agreed to marriage counseling he is still thinking about that. I am joining a church I figure I need all the support I can get and that is a good place to go. Plus he is religious based and has wanted to join so if he sees that is what I want to than maybe there will be hope of it all working out. I am so depressed I can't eat, sleep, work, etc. What can I do. I love him and want to give it a shot but the waiting to know if I will get a second chance is killing me.

[OnceLoved]

If he's talking about councelling, that's a good sign. When you go, make sure to speak your mind. He has to know how you feel too. Sure it's important for him to get what he wants, but it's also important for you to be happy. Try to find some middle ground. If you give in to everything for him, you won't be any more happy than he would be if you gave him nothing. Marriage is an equal partnership. It's hard, it takes lots of work, but with the right person, it's worth it.

 

It sounds like both of you have some tough times ahead. Your best bet is to be as honest as possible. Communication is key. Trust me, I've had to learn that the hard way. No one is perfect, but everyone deserves to be loved.

 

Good luck in councelling.