Im feelin like crap today

[want_his_love]

today is day 6 of NC for me... he mailed me 2 days ago sayin he didnt want us 2 try again but he jsut wanted to let me know he is missing me and im not alone in how i am probably feeling. GRRR.

 

ever since that mail i just been feeling really really weak liek i want to contact him (im not going to so dont worry).

but today i feel especially bad, i jsut want him to mail me saying he cant live without me n he has made the biggest mistake ever. grrr i was starting to feel so much better and today i have just felt bad all day about it n thought about him most the day n fantasized about how great itd b if we got back together.

i think knowing he is missing me has messed me up again n made he hope there is a chance that after some more NC n the fact i am not replying to emails he will miss me even more n come back to me

 

its driving me mad

[catren]

I hear you. For a few days when he was reconsidering our break up, I thought about telling him that I changed my mind - I didn't want him to come back. I felt better until I heard him say that he knew there was no way we could be happy together again. That made me feel horrible again.

 

I really think that part of what makes this all harder is the feeling of rejection. If we feel we have some control over the situation, it's a little easier. It's the reality of not having any control to change things that makes it so damn hard.