want_his_love

that is very true... didnt really think of it liek that... this is one of the emails he sent me after i told him that my daughter is missing him so much that she said "*** doesnt love me any more"........... no matter what u say u were using (daughters name) at times 2dig the knife in deeper....maybe not realising it , but by saying (daughters name) said "*** doesnt love me anymore"......c'mon emma f****ng turn it on...... what do u think that does sayin that??? "oh im jus sayin what she said" is always ur excuse.

PS my daughter also said "*** doesnt love me any more" a few nights ago so she has picked up on the fact that he has jsut disappeard.. its horrible

for those that havent read my previous posts.. i split with BF of 2 years on valentines day due to a massive drunken argument. he said he coulnt be with me as he knew itd be a massive dent to the relationship and also i am jsut to needy and to intense for him. i broke NC twice and went back to begging him to take me back... i am now on day 6 of restarting NC (he broke it on day 3 or 4 saying that even though he coudlnt be with me again, he is reallyl missing me.. i didnt reply) now my question is this ... i have a daughter who is nearly 3, my ex was like the dad in her life for 2 years. my daughter adores him and thinks he is the best thing since sliced bread and he treated her like his own child. he was totaly wonderful with her. every day she asks abbout him "is *** coming over today?" "i want to see ***" "can we see **". its horrible as i know its not jsut me who misses him... she asks about him all the time and when he's coming back to see us and all i can say is that i dont know. when i broke the NC twice i mentiond my daughter a few times and said that she asks about him alot and would love to see him again soon but he seemd to think i was using that to try and get him round and told me i was "sick" to use my daughter for my own benefit. which is not what i was doing at all. im not really sure what to do in this situation.. i thought about maybe contacting him in a couple of weeks and asking him if he wanted to come over and see her and say that even if he doesnt want to see me to pick her up and take her out for a couple of hours and then drop her off. but then thatl be me breaking NC and i dont want him to think im trying to use my daughter to get to see him myself again its just horrible that my daughters Dad went off with another girl and hasnt been a dad at all... and then the man in her life who was more of the dad and has done so much for us has jsut gone and she hasnt seen him for a while and asks about him all the time. any ideas??

that is so good. i am soooo jealous. though like you, i have hit the gym and gone back to my healthy ways and re-started modeling again. so if he does decide to come back, then i will deff be a new me.

today is day 6 of NC for me... he mailed me 2 days ago sayin he didnt want us 2 try again but he jsut wanted to let me know he is missing me and im not alone in how i am probably feeling. GRRR. ever since that mail i just been feeling really really weak liek i want to contact him (im not going to so dont worry). but today i feel especially bad, i jsut want him to mail me saying he cant live without me n he has made the biggest mistake ever. grrr i was starting to feel so much better and today i have just felt bad all day about it n thought about him most the day n fantasized about how great itd b if we got back together. i think knowing he is missing me has messed me up again n made he hope there is a chance that after some more NC n the fact i am not replying to emails he will miss me even more n come back to me its driving me mad

grrrrr that stupid email has made me start thinking about him now ... im having a bad day today actually. was feelign so much better last few days and wasnt feeling much pain at all but for some reason today i jsut keep thinking about the good times and feeling i want him back. keep thinkin of the fact he sais he's missing "us" n wonder if that feeling will grow in him though im still sticking with the NC.. theres no way im gonna break it this time after 5 days and jsut be the same old person that he knows 2 well

ps- and b4 you all say it.... i know NC isnt supposed to be a tool to win back the ex. but just curious to know if it has worked for anyone

on here, other forums and on general relationship sites... they all say the best thing you can do if you want someone back is to use NC. just curious to know if any one on here has any success stories about using NC (or something similar) and their ex came running back would be interested to find out

i didnt reply... i was out all day away from my pc so didnt have the temptation there i think he has a bit of a cheek actually.... last time we spoke (thursday last week) .. he was quite harsh with me and told me "your so deluded its untrue" plus wsa just saying things liek "for christs sake just leave me alone" so when i do what he asks and leave him alone for a few days... then he mails me... telling me he dont want me but he misses me. what was he hoping for??? do u think that he dont want me but he's not 100% happy with the idea of me moving on and not chasing him any more

i was thinking of ignoring totaly to be honest.... all i have done for months and months is go running to him and been puppy dog pleading and begging him for attention and affection. i wanna do soemthing different for once and shock him. in fact .. the email is jsut the fuel i needed to keep strong i do want to be friends with him eventually (if i dont hate him by that time lol) but at this stage,, i still miss him and still would get back together with him

its tuesday morning 9am, just turned my computer on to find an email from my ex sitting there... he must be in work early. it sais... "In a way i think this email isn't the greatest of ideas but if i feel the need 2 jus say hi then i bloody well will so Hi. Hope ur ok. not in any way that i want 2 try again but i have been thinkin and missin us l8ly. Jus what i expected. wateva ur feelin now u aint been alone with it. xx " SO WHAT NOW??? SHALL I REPLY OR IGNORE.

i have had exactly the same thought trust me. i thought,,,, i wil lkill myself n leave a note saying that if he hadnt dumped me then i wouldnt have done this. i felt like i wanted him to suffer te rest of his life for making me suffer while he is off out having a good time with friends i think its normal to think things liek that.... though i wudnt do it either

me and BF split on valentines so nearly 3 weeks ago. at first i couldnt sleep or eat,, broke NC twice and made a fool of myself crying and begging. it didnt really seem to get much better at all and i desperatly wanted him back n felt i jsut couldnt live without him. since saturday evening/sunday... thinks have felt weridly better. i can sleep, i can eat, im not in constant pain and i even feel like i dont need him to live (even though i wudnt say no if he came back) but now im starting to get scared coz i feel like i am letting go... but part of me doesnt want to let go. ive had offers of dates and im seriously considering it now... really scared in case i end up really liking one of ths guys and that will mean that its truly over for good with my ex. im taking up Boxing on wednesday, im re-starting career in modeling which i got lazy with n stopped while i was with my ex... so things are really looking up. why do i feel so scared about totaly letting go??? even though i wont do this.. i feel like emailing my ex and telling him that he aint got long to come back coz i think i will be over him soon i have this horrible feeling that im gonna be well over him and he will come back and wish he hadnt finished it n said some of the mean things he said to me. i cant believe how suddenly it happened.... the pain just kinda went . and i wont lie n say i dont miss him coz i really do... but im not feeling that unbearable pain any more.

has anyone had any dreams about their ex and either they are together and everything is perfect or else yuo are just having a really nice time with your ex. you wake up feeling happy... then... 10-15 seconds later realisation kicks in and u know that they finished with you and you are without them... then your heart starts racing and depressions returns. it is the most horrible thiing ever I WANT HIM BACK SOOOOOO BAD :sad:

for those that dont know... i split with my BF on valentines day. we had a little dissagreement that turned into a huge drunken row with me standing in front of my front door crying and begging him not to go n leave n wrestling with him to stop him going.. then stood in front of his car 2 try n stop him leaving but he crashed into a tree as drove anyway. i admit i was foolish to act the way i did but it really wasnt me ,,,, every single hysterical epsidoe i have had over the 2 years we were together (not that many) was when i had been drinking alcohol. i admit i had a bit of a problem.. was drinking 2-4 times a week. since splitting up coz he said im a psyco and i need help.. i have given up drink. its been 2 weeks now and i have not touched a drop, i never ever want to be that hysterical person ever again. i did NC for 7 days but then caved in... mailed him and acted cool n not like i was missing him and he was the one saying he was missing me. we talked about meeting up one sunday very soon to catch up.. i was gonn play it very cool till then and make sure i turned up lookin gorgeous n be really lovely n friendly n make him c what he would be losing. but after that day.. i just caved in more and i started to ask him to get back together and to be honest .. i have asked him every single day to be with me. i have gone all needy on him again and i think really really messed up my chances. he has been getting pretty pissed off with me and saying that he dont wanna be with someone who acts like me... thing is he is so opver-reacting.... he knows that i have only acted hysterical like that when i have been drunk and i asked him if he has ever seen me acting foolish when i havent been drunk but he couldnt answer coz he knows he hasnt. i am a lovely good person that would never cause any1one harm purpously but i think he is just being so stubborn and listening to everyone he knows who now hates me coz of the state of his car (his mum is one of these). he knows i have given up drink but he just said "i will never want to be your BF again". if he knows deep down that i have never acted psyco when i have been sober and he knows i have given up drink then why he feeling so strong about this. also yesterday he mailed me saying that in the big showdown arguemnt.... i tried to keep him "hostage" in my house?!?!?!?!??!? do u think that is over-reacting a little?? i was nt trying to keep him hostage, i jsut didnt want him to walk out n leave the arguemnt unsorted coz it hurts so bad when he does that. he said "dont say u tried to keep me there coz u love me.. that wasnt love , that was insanity" i am not insane or a psyco, i was just drunkand never ever act like that at all when i am sober. i feel he is soo blinded by stubborness (he is really stubborn) and everyone he knows who is poisoning his mind against me. i know that they will give him so much greif if he ever comes to see me again now as they all think i am a b***h and tell him he can do a thousand times better then me i want him so much, i am losing so much weight where i cant eat, i am a total mess and its not getting any easier, im so tired coz i cant sleep. i went out on saturday night with friends and i was down all night, i just couldnt get him out of my head and enjoy myself, just felt permenantly sick. i have never been in such a mess in my life. i havent contacted him since 6pm yesterday, its now 11.20am. think im gonna havta go back to that horrible NC.

me and my BF of nearly 2 years split n valentines day. it was the biggest argument we have ever had and it was acohol fueld on my part. it involved him crashing his car. day after he said he didnt want anything to do with me. day 7 of no contact i caved in and mailed him to ask how he was. he said he is missing me so much and he gets pretty upset and he is really confused. we talked about meeting up for something to eat one sunday soon. yesterday we spoke again ... but i caved in BIG TIME,, was feeling really reallyl bad about the split and was crying fron 11am to around 8pm non stop... i was such a state that i couldnt even go to the shops and my mum had to come over and bring some shopping for me. in the process if this i told him that i was missing him far to much and i love him and i want to be with him still. i told him that i have given up alcohol (i havent touched it for 10 days now, normaly i drink 2-3 times a week), also told him that i am on a waiting list to see a councellor to sort out my needyness and im generally doing all i can to make myself a better person. also i told him i am selling one of my most treaured possesions to help pay for the damage to his car. he said he is really heartbroken and cries a fair amount about the split and he still loves me but there must've been major cracks in the relationship to argue as bad as we did and he just cant carry on in the relationship becuase he didnt liek the way he could see it going and he has to be strong and stick to his word. (he is very very stubborn and once he sais something he likes to remain true to his decision). he also said that he didnt want to hear me saying "i love you, and i miss you" etc etc becuase its jsut to painful for him and upsets him more so i know he still has strong feeling for me, its just after that huge argument his mind seems to be dead set on not trying to work on things. he knows i have given up the drink and am doing what i can to sort myself out so that an argument that bad would nevr happen again and i will stop being so possesive of him.. but he did say "it will jsut be another broken promise". so i asked him if he will give me time as friends to prove to him that i really have given up alcohol and am bettering myself. he wouldnt agree to seeing how things went and possibly getting together in the future... but he did say he did want to be friends and keep in contact and he wants me to be part of his life still. so its a start. so what now?? what will be the best moves i can make right now?? i want him so badly and i know he still loves me but i just gotta make him see that i mean everything i say and it will go back to how perfect it was b4 that dreadful argument. PS- his mum and most of his friends hate me now after what happened so i know its going to be harder as so many people he knows and see's regualr dont want him to have anything to do with me and think i am a total . i think its a little harsh of them... but i guess all they see is the crashed car and dont think that it wasnt done pupously and i jsut didnt want him to go and leave me

i deff think he's playing around now.... he maild me and tells me to call him.... but his phone is still turned off 4 and half hours later. i have sent him a text saying "i tried to call but your phone is off, im not going to worry coz every time i worry for hours your ok. i will leave it up 2 u 2 contact me, hope 2 speak 2 u soon" he will get that when he turns his phone on. surely there aint a rational explanation for this... why wud any1 tell me 2 ring but their phone is turnd off

i will. jus gotta play the waiting game now. i wonder whats going on.

ive just come up to check messages and 20 mins ago he sent me and email saying "ring me" but his phone is still switched off. * * * is going on

those who read my previous post will know the situation. basically we had a huge showdown of an argument on valentines and he ended it and said he jsut couldnt be with me any more. so i started NC (not a discussed thing, just thought id give him space) was planning on contactin him after 2-3 weeks but caved in today. mailed him a short mail this mornining saying " just mailing you to touch base and make sure you well" he mailed back and said "ive been burning candle at both ends so not so good but thats my own fault. my emotions are all over the place and ive been quite upset at times.. how r u?" so i sent him a mail back telling him how well im doing and how i havent touched alcohol and that im doing this and that and jsut made myself sound really busy and didnt say i had missed him or anything. also said to make sure he looks after himself and dont burn candle at both ends to much. then i asked if he fancied meeting up one sunday and going for something to eat n catch up he mailed back saying i haven't got nothing to hide and im not ashamed to admit this but im missing u so much lately. i think its so weird 4 me rite now. a new stage in my life. 4 the better?? only time will tell!!!! im jus so confused. is it easy 2 understand that i do want to see u alot but i dont know what it mite do 2 me coz i dont wana miss u more and feel worse than i already do. and he also said that maybe we should meet up n get a friendship started so then i said. well i totaly understand and its up 2 you.. i dont want to pressure you into anything u feel uncomfortable with etc etc etc then he said... next sunday, if we were to go out, where do u fancy going?? then he mailed "i wish i handt come over on valentines" .. meaning he probably wishes we were still together and handt had that massive argument and he sent another message saying he was busy at work and he would reply this afternoon after his lunch break so i mailed back sayin .....thats kool and i dont mind where we go as long as its not 2 expensive as i havta be careful with money at the moment. then after lunch .. he didnt reply.... i waited a while and then mailed him saying "r u ok?" and still no reply. then i text him saying "could you contact me and let me know your ok coz u know how i worry, if u r 2 busy 2 send a propa email then that ok just want to know your ok. if u have changed your mind about meeting up then thats kool, whatever makes u happy bebe". the text was received on his phone he will have finished work now and i didnt get a reply at all... i get really worried if people say they will contact and they dont so now i am worrying that he's been knocked over by a bus or somethin so i have tried to ring him but his phone is turned off.... he knows i will be worrying now coz i worry way to much.. he knows this after 2 years of being with me. IS HE PLAYING GAMES NOW BECUASE I HAVE ACTED REALLY STRONG AND LIKE IVE BEEN BUSY AND THE OLD ME WHO CHASED HIM AROUND AND BEGGING HIM 2 BE WITH ME IS GONE. maybe he wanted me to be chasing him again so thsi is why he has blanked me now in hope that i will worry so much that i will start begging him again what do u think?????

u r soooo right. im on day 6 today and i was a total mess... its been the hardest day yet. i think its coz its another day i realsied that he isnt gonna give in and contact me either cried so much and was so down. kept listening to songs that were "our" songs and torturing myself. i was sat in my bedroom with our songs blasted out really loud and just sitting on the bed crying so much. also been checkimg my email and phone every minute literally. i hate myself for what ive done.. for driving him away. i am the biggest idiot ever and i dont know how im gonna cope without his contact and his love. i want him soooo much, i miss him so much, i love him so much this is the worst pain i havr ever felt in my whole life.... i have never ever experience anything like this b4

i am thinkin about keeping up with the no contact for 2 weeks up until thursday next week then emailing him at work to tell him i have put some money into his bank account to help put towards that damage to his car and could he check on his lunch break and let me know it went in ok. then when he replies i ask him if he would like to meet up on sunday or sunday next week and go for somethng to eat and catch up (ever since we split i have been on a diet and exercising crazy, im gonna get my hair done real nice n get a new outfit and make sure i look super gorgeous for him... i will not mention us gettin back together at all, well of course appologise for the way things happened and also state that i didnt set out to hurt any1 and then jsut be friendly and chatty and make him see how i was when he first met me..... oh and then make a point of being the one to end the date first and say i have to meet up with a friend) do u think it may work???

yes i do want to feel confident again but the feeling of wanting him are over powering that at the moment. i cant stop crying and torturing myself with thought of all the happy times. i have never wanted anything more in my life then for him 2 contact me right now

when i was standing in front of my front door and his car i felt desperate... i get so lonely when he has gone... ive always been quite a lonely person and i lived for the weekends when we saw each other (he lives an hour dirve away). everytime he goes off in an argument i feel soooo upset and lonely and its the most pain ever .. i knew how i would feel if i just let him go so i tried to stop him instead. if i had jsut let him go then we would still be together now ... ive been such a total idiot. i love him so much and im missing his contact liek crazy.... im findin it so hard not 2 text him or ring him. i want 2 so much

i know im gonna have a tough job getting him back now his mum doesnt want him to see me again and all his friend will be telling him not 2 get back with me after they see his car. i do know that his close female friend (who has only been on the scene about 3 months) told him .... "yuo took valentines day off work to spend with that B**ch and she ruined it all. you can do a thousand times better then her". he has got so many people on his side who will not want him to see me and will do what they can do talk him out of seeing me. how can i get around this