I think I have a problem.

[millaj]

I'm a 27 year old who has never really been in a serious relationship until now.. my relationship has been going on well over a year, and when it was going great, I was really happy. Then things started getting rocky, she wasn't giving me the intamacy I needed, then I broke up with her and was intimate with someone else.

 

Since then she has begged and pleaded for me to come back and give her my love. It never left, but I thought I was doing something right by splitting up with her, because I fell "out of love" with her. I started not to want her the way I used to, and since then I am still the same way. I got back with her, and we have been working it out. I love her very much and she is the best woman I've ever been with. That has never changed.

 

The problem is, I can't stop my wandering eye now. I'm bisexual anyways so I've always had a wandering eye for men, but when I am completely satisfied (or I should say when), I never looked towards anyone else because I was completely happy. Now even though I am happy, and she's doing wonderful, even trying to be intimate with me, and I am not as interested as I used to be.

 

I don't know if it's going to take time, but I already have my eye on two different women and another guy. I feel that I want to be single and experience other people, but at the same time, I love her so much and I feel settled in what we have. I think I have a problem, and I wonder if I will ever be completely happy no matter who I am with? I'm confused, and just taking it one day at a time, but what do you think, do I have a problem or am I justified in the way I am feeling now?

 

Thanks,

MJ

[Cadence308]

If you think it's a problem then it's a problem. If she knew about how you are feeling and would not be okay with it then it's a problem. It really sounds like you lost your interest in her sexually and relationship-wise when you two weren't being intimate. It sounds like that's important to you in a relationship and there's nothing wrong with that. If she's still not giving you what you need and it sounds like you are already out there looking for it, then break up with her and move on.

 

It almost sounds like things are working out and she is putting out. If that's the case then it sounds like you are having the "grass is greener" phases and it's usually not greener. If you really have something good with her and things are really working out, why mess with that?

[shellshocked]

If you think it's a problem then it's a problem. If she knew about how you are feeling and would not be okay with it then it's a problem. It really sounds like you lost your interest in her sexually and relationship-wise when you two weren't being intimate. It sounds like that's important to you in a relationship and there's nothing wrong with that. If she's still not giving you what you need and it sounds like you are already out there looking for it, then break up with her and move on.

 

It almost sounds like things are working out and she is putting out. If that's the case then it sounds like you are having the "grass is greener" phases and it's usually not greener. If you really have something good with her and things are really working out, why mess with that?

 

Great post, Bally.

Totally agree.....especially with this:

If that's the case then it sounds like you are having the "grass is greener" phases and it's usually not greener.

[ScaredFawn]

I think I can understand what you are feeling. I have a gf of 2 and a half year, and she has huge intimacy issues. You have probably felt very turned on by her in the beginning, but have been turned down so many times by her that it left its mark in your heart. I feel the same way. Now when my gf and I make love I feel myself not really feeling the satisfaction and emotional connection I used to. You have probably felt so neglected and tired of having to beg for intimacy that now your heart and your mind decided you dont need it anymore, subconscionsly. I dont know, Im talking from my own experience, tell me if Im wrong. I, like you, when sexually unsatisfied, will really have an eye out for anyone that might be able to give me what I need, and maybe somewhere in your heart lies wounds of the past that need to be worked out with her before you start feeling completely satsfied by her. If you really love her, I would explain my feelings to her and maybe see a sex therapist. I wish you the best of luck

[millaj]

Fawn, yes it is exactly how I feel. And she is definitely trying a lot harder now, so I think we do need to try sex therapy. The scars are definitely still there.

 

Ballys.. your right the grass is not greener on the other side and I suffer from thinking that all the time in my life.. not just in relationships, but jobs, and other things.

 

I just have to heal now, because even though things are working out again, I'm still affected by before. I still have the wandering eye now, and I still feel like I want to experience others. I don't know how to talk to her about this though.